Sex is a powerful force that, when used correctly, can be the champion and symbol of love between two people. However, sex can also be used and manipulated to achieve selfish goals. Individuals that use sex in this manner can be called sexual climbers.
A sexual climber’s goal is not merely sexual gratification. The climber’s goal is to obtain all of the rights, privileges, power, and position to be gained by aligning themselves with their target. With the climber, sex is just a rung in the ladder: the means to elevate position.
For comparison, sexual manipulators utilize their status or position to obtain sexual favors. The sexual desires of intended targets are secondary to manipulators. Their main goal is their own sexual gratiﬁcation. If their target is also gratified, ﬁne, but this is not the goal. With the sexual climber, however, the sexual desires of their intended target are of utmost importance, for it is through satisfying those desires that the climber can enhance his or her position.
Like manipulators, sexual climbers can also be in it for the long haul, at least until they target someone else who offers them a step up to a better position. If the intended target does not harbor any sexual desires regarding them, the sexual climber’s task is to create those desires. They do so over time, by inserting themselves deeper and deeper into the life and mind of the target.
Successful sexual climbers often move from target to target, climbing higher with each conquest. Skillful climbers can devastate their targets because they so completely overwhelm a person. By shaping themselves to fit their target so well, they totally take over their target’s life, crowding out commitments such as family. But once they have gained the advantage through the relationship, the climber may not be content to stay at that level on the ladder. If they have opportunity, they will transfer their affections to a new target, leaving their previous objective crushed in their upward pursuit. Having traded everything of value for a climber, previous targets are left with nothing when the climber moves on.
Because the objective of the sexual climber is not merely sex, when they leave a relationship, they often will take anything of value they can get. Money, goods, friends, and business contacts can all be confiscated by a climber. The destruction they leave in their wake can be staggering to behold.
Authored by Dr. Gregory Jantz, founder of The Center • A Place of HOPE and author of 29 books. Pioneering whole-person care nearly 30 years ago, Dr. Jantz has dedicated his life’s work to creating possibilities for others, and helping people change their lives for good. The Center • A Place of HOPE, located on the Puget Sound in Edmonds, Washington, creates individualized programs to treat behavioral and mental health issues, including eating disorders, addiction, depression, anxiety and others