It's Girl Scout cookie time. The time when your three-week-old New Year's resolutions of watching what you eat and exercising every day go out the window. Because you know your weakness - the Thin Mint. That little circle of deliciousness has been the ruin of many a person - here's how to fight back.
Signs of Thin Mint Addiction:
1. You have bought a walk-in cooler just to store your arsenal of Thin Mints.
2. When you see a picture of a Thin Mint, you start salivating like Pavlov's dog.
3. You think that if you put thin mints in a cheesecake or a mixed drink, you're not really eating the Thin Mint. Please. You're just lying to yourself.
4. You sneak into the pantry to eat the Thin Mints so no one knows the extent of your addiction. When your kids ask what you're doing, you respond, "Mffmft mfmsft fmnoffing".
5. You smuggle a sleeve of thin mints in your purse to take to work. And you guard those suckers like a pit bull.
6. You go through withdrawal at the end of cookie-selling season. If you could only get one more...
7. Your local girl scout troop has funded 20 camping trips just from your Thin Mint sales. Hell, you've funded jet skis and college tuition for every kid in the troop at this point.
Ways to Just Say No to the T.M.:
1. Put the cookies down. Turn around and just walk away. Do it. And don't look back. Those cookies will call to you - just ignore them. They're just tempting you. Don't turn your power over to them. Remember, they are just cookies. They are not the boss of you.
2. Beware of "cookie pushers". Those are the people that look oh so innocent, but thrust a plate in your face and tell you to "just have one more". Thin Mints are a gateway cookie. After Thin Mints just aren't doing it for you, you'll be finding other ways of getting that high. You may even turn to the Trefoil cookie - and that's just sad. I admit, I was a Thin Mint pusher once. But I wanted those badges!
3. Stop your daily emails, calls, and petitions for online girl scout cookie sales. You know it's just an easier way to access your drug of choice. Just. Say. No. And that Girl Scout cookie iPhone app that begs you to "Meet the Cookies"? Stop meeting them at 3am. Get some damn sleep.
4. Seek the help of a Thin Mint professional. Some of us have been through Thin Mint addiction and have come out on the other side. That doesn't mean we don't get the craving for a Thin Mint once in a while, especially when cookie season comes around and the Girl Scout website has that damn "countdown to cookie sales" timer, and you can't walk into the grocery store without those sweet, innocent-looking faces sitting at a table and pushing the cookies, because they just don't know. They don't know where you've been. They don't know what it's like to push away that delicious plate of Nirvana in a cookie. And you hope they never have to.
Copyright 2012 Sarkis Media LLC