Emotional Intelligence: Do Women Have an Edge?

Remember emotional intelligence can be learned; while it may be a part of women's "conditioning," many men have or can learn these behaviors.

What’s Behind Women’s Intuition?

The ability to decode nonverbal cues is ultimately valuable and essential for effective communication. So women must ask themselves, how can we use these skills to enhance our effectiveness instead of letting them divert us? Women must not focus on others for a definition of what is “normal” or acceptable behavior; they must define it for themselves.

Why Don’t Many Men Show Their Emotions?

Our fathers pull us aside and tell us to be two-faced: a private face you have outside of the public eye, and a public face that shows no weakness.” Does "Big boys don't cry" and "Take it like a man" sound familiar?

His and Her Feelings

Society conditions women to think they are the emotional gender. Women are taught a separate set of rules that allow a wider range of self-expression. Women aren’t as good at hiding their facial expressions; you can often read them like a book (helpful when women say they’re “fine” but feel the opposite). With men, it’s more of a guessing game.

What Women Talk About

Women and men are two different speech communities. From the college classroom to the corporate world, women typically use forms of speech that you rarely hear from men, such as “qualifiers,” embedded with disclaimers.

Leading the Way Up the Corporate Ladder :

“You have a woman boss? Oh no, I feel for you. I had a woman boss once, and it was terrible.” Heard those words before? Why would someone feel that way about having a woman boss? Who would you rather work for, a man or a woman? Most men say they’d rather work for a man. And most women say the same thing. . How can that be?

Women’s Leadership Style: Boss Plus?

The way women are perceived in society influences how we view a female leader’s behaviors.

It’s a Man’s World, Or Is It?

The male leader’s communication skills follow suit. Men tend to be direct, forceful, and assertive. Male leaders don’t whine, they have a strong, deep voice and speak loudly when needed. The masculine leadership style is authoritative, hierarchical, and structured.

Men and Women Marking Their Territory

Personal space may vary in size for an individual depending on the situation, his or her emotional state, gender, and the relationship with the other person.

Negotiation: Who Plays the Game Better?

Are men better negotiators than women? On one hand, some may argue that men have a more competitive nature, are more aggressive, understand how to use power to their advantage, and appear more business savvy than women. On the other hand, others may argue women bring the relational aspect into a negotiation and look to create a win-win for both parties.

Does He Harass Her or She Harass Him?

Unwelcome behavior of a sexual nature can be verbal (jokes, innuendos, suggestive comments) or nonverbal (inappropriate touching, ogling, posters, emails, stares at body parts, leering, whistles, brushes against another’s body, and behaviors up to and including sexual assault or rape).

Why You Stand Side-by-Side or Face-to-Face

Posture and position—how we hold, carry, and orient our bodies—also convey myriad nonverbal messages.

Conquest or Community: How Men and Women Approach Work

Men learn quickly that they are the breadwinners. They are expected to work. They have to support themselves and probably a significant other and children. Granted, some men in Generation X and Y have moved back home with the folks and somewhere missed the concept that they actually have to work and earn money.

Do Women Take Things Personally?

In How Men Think: The Seven Essential Rules for Making It in a Man’s World (Mendell, 1996), the author summarizes childhood sex differences in the socialization of making mistakes and taking criticism.

The Seven Most Asked Questions about Gender Communication

How did men and women acquire their communication styles? Aren’t we just born that way; did we learn it? Is it nature or nurture? Can men and women learn to change and adapt their styles? Haven’t we been this way forever? How do you expect us to change?

Running Toward Negotiation Instead of Running Away

Do you have to win? Do you need a Vegas poker face? What if you feel unprepared compared to the know-it-all you’re up against? Are your negotiating skills on par with those of your boss? Just what are negotiating skills? Think about this one: do you run toward negotiating or run away? Why?

Online as the Great Power and Gender Equalizer

Social networking and easy-to-modify websites give people a chance to delay their first impression, by finely crafting what information we choose to make public, selecting only the best photos (and Photoshopping them, while we’re at it), and creating our own sort of personal marketing campaign.

The Fight for Face Time: Is it a Gender Thing?

There’s no getting around it: face-to-face communication is being replaced by technical forms of communication to a great extent, and this impacts how men and women communicate.

Women and Emotional Management at Work

The idea of professionalism is central to emotion management in the workplace. The workplace requires us to mask our feelings, especially our negative emotions.

Women and Emotional Endurance

Resiliency is most crucial in the face of failure and disappointment. Maintaining a positive attitude and putting a crisis in its place is key.

The Gender Politics of Turn Taking

Women tend not to interrupt out of politeness. But guess what? If a woman chooses to be too polite, she may not get heard.

Right Words, Wrong Vocal Cues: Why Women Misunderstand Men

Many men are not terribly adept at managing their vocal cues to communicate feelings. In fact, they may feel challenged and handicapped in this arena.

Silence: A Man's Dilemma

A man’s “silent treatment” can communicate to his partner that he doesn’t care about or is uninterested in her; that he’s just trying to maintain control and make her feel uncomfortable, even if, in reality, he is shy or uncomfortable sharing feelings.

Work Voice Versus Home Voice: A Women's Dilemma

Women often accuse men of missing many nonverbal cues, and my research shows this to be true. However, males do focus on the vocal aspects of what is being said—the paralinguistics. And one conclusion that can be drawn from research on vocal quality is that women tend to be more specifically judged on voice traits than are men.

How Women Handle Bullies and Why She Can't Change Them

It’s not your personal responsibility to help or change someone with obvious social problems. You are responsible for yourself and your work. Because women are so relationally focused, sometimes they tend to feel overly responsible for other people’s problems, especially if they are relational problems.

Who is Your Bully? The Gender Twist

Being bullied is a horrible reality. You find yourself giving up your power unwillingly to someone else who pushes you around looking for your breaking point. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute survey, 40 percent of the recipients never reported the bullying behaviors; another 38 percent said they filed an informal complaint at their company.

He and She Bullying: Same Outcome, Different Techniques

Bullying is aimed at humiliating and embarrassing the recipient of the behavior; it emphasizes the bully’s one-up position and may serve to protect the bully’s territory.

Reading Nonverbal Cues: Power and Gender

Women are more clued in than men to people’s nonverbal gestures and feelings.

Direct to Least Direct: How Does She Ask the Question?

Men and women assume different roles, which are reflected in their linguistic choices. Despite these sex differences, communication can be satisfying and successful between men and women.

Don't Qualify it! Just Say it!

Women often employ disclaimers in introductory remarks. Research has identified various types of disclaimers that serve different functions.

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