From Romantic Heartache to Something Better

The loss of a relationship brings heartache to most. Here are 5 ways to turn the loss and heartache of a breakup or divorce into the golden trophy of a new, healthy and fulfilling love.

Why a "Real" Date Is Better Than Hooking Up

Whatever those awkward moments are during those first few dates for a new couple---i.e. pregnant pauses over a first meal together, inadvertently cutting off one another while speaking, the forced politeness or the inelegance of planning and executing an outing with a complete stranger, these moments are the seeds that must be sown to learn if a partnership can grow.

Do You Connect Through Anger?

Do you find yourself attacking your partner or friends and then later regretting it? Do you find it easier to communicate your true feelings and opinions when you are angry? Anger is an ‘easy’ emotion—felt so intensely that words and actions flow instantaneously and without conscious reflection.

Self-Victimizing Again?

Do you attribute control of your successes and failures to yourself or to some fated force outside of your purview? Whether it is your weight, your emotions, your spouse, your children, your paycheck--do you continually find yourself feeling resentful or upset by the events in your life? Self-determination is a remedy for feeling perpetually victimized.

Is What "He" Thinks of You Really That Important?

Overly fearing rejection can cause a person to act in a manner designed to achieve acceptance at any cost—even if the one she wants acceptance from is thoroughly inadequate. When someone you are interested in is not pursuing you, asking yourself what you are doing wrong is an ineffective strategy. Instead, consider these assessment questions.

When You Can't Stand Being Alone with Yourself

Some busy people welcome an opportunity to be alone. For others it is painful. But avoiding it completely is a losing battle—it might be those 10 minutes driving in the car, not being able to fall asleep at night, waiting for someone to show up, wondering if someone will show up—inevitably everyone will find themselves unaccompanied from time to time.

Socially Adept Female Bullies

The reason is always trivial compared to the time and energy bullies put into attacking their victim. But, the stated reason isn’t actually the point; the real reason for bullying is the sense of power it bestows on the bullies. For some girls, this is an addictive elixir that relieves them of relentless feelings of powerlessness.

Surprising Level of Sexual Coercion by Teen Peers

A comprehensive study, sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, published last week in the journal JAMA Pediatrics found that close to one in 10 teens and young adults report perpetuating an act of sexual violence against another. Sex education focusing only on sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy is not enough
Five Warnings Suggesting You Should Let This One Go

Five Warnings Suggesting You Should Let This One Go

Pushing forth with a love interest despite seeing red flags can signals a person’s overwhelming need for redemption. A relationship cannot launch, let alone continue to run, on one person's fumes alone. There are certain universal red flags that need be considered and taken seriously.

Girl Power or Pseudo-Power?

The juxtaposition of Miley swinging around, almost gracefully, in the nude, on a wrecking ball, while licking a sledgehammer, embodies the kind of naughty and nice pseudo-power that is directly marketed to teenage girls in popular culture. Young teens may use these kinds of images to define for themselves what it means to be sexual and how to go about appearing sexual.
Girlie Girl vs. One of the Guys

Girlie Girl vs. One of the Guys

For a surprising number of girls choosing to either be “one of the guys” or attractive for the guys presents an easy way to remove the anxiety and pressure of finding a way to fit in. Of course, constricting her options to these two choices means girls may miss a wealth of time and opportunity to realize and fully actualize their own distinctive personalities.

Guys--Women Really Aren't That Complicated

People tend to reflexively laugh when hearing someone lament “women…you can’t please ‘em” or “what do women really want?” or “what does she think I am, a mind reader?” or, the currently quite popular one, “Happy wife, happy life.” All of these aphorisms tend to paint women as difficult, fickle, lacking in self-awareness and, ultimately, something to yield to.

Christina Huffington’s “Pit of Loneliness”

Girls who struggle with low self-esteem often feel so poorly about themselves that they do not feel comfortable or safe talking with others about their struggle. Turning to drugs, alcohol or other self-destructive behaviors represent a quest to cope with a depleted and lost sense of self.

Girls Need Childhood to Succeed as Adults

More than brands, fashion is about symbolism. It is time well spent when parents and others help girls to critically sort out what those symbols mean, along with how and why they are promoted in advertising.

Hooking Up's Downside

Why is it that so many women feel that in order to be high achieving they have to cut themselves off from intimacy, connection and love from men? Here is what women should know about the downside of hooking up.
5 Steps to Take Before Starting a New Relationship

5 Steps to Take Before Starting a New Relationship

Forget “The Rules,” stop believing “He’s just not into you” and skip the rest of the self-help confusion that will instruct you on how to morph yourself into the perfect match to attract Mr. Right. People who are genuinely happy with their romantic choices spend more energy working on their own self-development than on appearing a certain way to attract love.

Barbie: Does Size Really Matter?

Few other topics in Toyland bring as much strife as mothers and women discussing the virtues and sins of allowing girls to play with Barbie. What starts as a polite conversation about a cultural icon, can stop female bonding in its tracks. Barbie is an extremely polarizing figure.

Overcoming a Love Addiction

A love addiction is associated with strong highs and the lowest of the lows. The highs and positive feelings may be short-lived, but people often stay in these dysfunctional unions for a surprisingly long time, sustained by the anticipation of the next endorphin rush.

The Male Gaze and Fears of Being Unnoticed and Unaccepted

The proverbial “male gaze” leaves many women to feel hyper-sexualized and guilty about their very femininity while others feel desexualized, as if they are nonexistent.

Weird Teen Attraction

Why are some teenage girls expressing an attraction and even fondness for the Boston Bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaey? There can be a tendency for disempowered women to experience a sense of power by being associated with detached and mysterious men.
The "Selfie": Exploration or Exploitation?

The "Selfie": Exploration or Exploitation?

There is a positive aspect to unabashedly celebrating who you are and feeling proud of that person. On the other hand, for some, the "Selfie" is an addiction.
When Women Bully Women

When Women Bully Women

Body hatred and women verbally bullying one another are tied together. In a world that feels as if others could turn on you at any time, taking a judgmental stance toward other women is a way for some to feel a modicum of control.
Waiting For Someone to Make You Happy?

Waiting For Someone to Make You Happy?

When self-esteem is lacking, it is tempting to outsource a sense of self through associating with an idealized match. Unfortunately, until self-love is present within, true love and care from outside evade.

A Perfect “Match” Is Not Always a Healthy Partner

Love patterns from childhood repeat in adult romantic relationships. When being cared for in childhood meant dismissal, rejection or invalidation, people are more likely to seek these same traits out in their adult romantic relationships.

The Makings of a Good Girl

The more women focus on appearing perfectly physically pleasing and good, the more disconnected they become from their own experience. Fostering healthy, sexually fulfilling and emotionally intimate relationships with men means giving up raising or being a “good girl” in favor of helping girls and women to act in accordance with who they really are.

5 Ways to Find Emotional Intimacy with Your Sexual Partner

Does your romantic interest know the real you? Here are five strategies that will help bring emotional intimacy to a romantic relationship.

The Psychology of Tiger Woods

Emotional control is as important in romantic relationships as it is in life in general. Tiger Woods is an interesting example of that because he has operated at the outer extreme. Woods has gone full circle now with his win at the Arnold Palmer Invitational which means after his spectacular career stalled he is again ranked number one in the world.

Don’t Settle for a Chronically Disappointing Man

It is not easy for some women to end a romantic relationship, even one that is one-sided and causes mostly pain and disappointment.

Two Labels Used to Control Single Women

It is interesting to hear people refer to young women who are single and enjoy going out and meeting new people as “party girls.” Although this phrase is said frequently, it is seldom considered. What does this expression actually mean? After all we do not label socially extroverted men as “party boys.”

Women Who Are Turned Off By Nice Guys

Some women tell me they are not attracted to men who directly state a desire to get to know and date them. Instead, they are attracted to distant and noncommittal personalities and say they relish the challenge and the thrill of the romantic chase that these men present. They may see a man who openly expresses an interest in them as soft and not sufficiently masculine.