When “little you” goes unchecked, destructive relationship dynamics can wreak havoc on your adult life. Here are 4 examples of dysfunctional inner child patterns and how to better access the ‘adult you.’
The cultural roots of the warrior/hunter man and the feminine/passive-gatherer woman are reflected in the princess and knight in shining armor mentality promoted today. Although compelling, fairy tale expectations set many men and women up for eventual romantic defeat. Here are five reasons why fairy tale dreams often lead to misery in romance.
The allure of emotionally unavailable men is undeniable to many. Women caught up in their charms often spend inordinate time, energy, and internal resources working to get their special attention. Here are 5 reasons why unavailable men carry such value.
Women are notorious for rolling their eyes at those women who seem “uppity” or unapologetically positive about themselves. As a result many women spend less time promoting themselves and more time working to be accepted and liked--and miss opportunities as a result. Here are 5 ways to become more comfortable publicly supporting yourself so you may better get what you want.
Forget resolving to ‘be a better person’ this year. Instead, resolve to treat yourself as you wish others would treat you. As you improve your relationship with you, much of the rest of your life (including enjoying those you love most and coping with those that are harder to deal with) will reflect the ease and wellbeing you feel within. Here are 5 resolutions for you.
Many couples have a motivated desire to work harder on their marriages. For others, however, they find themselves stuck, unable to improve the marriage and unable to leave. Here are five reasons why, in some cases, divorce may be the right decision.
How many times have you felt upset by something your male partner said or didn’t say, did or didn’t do and then found yourself concluding that whatever the issue it results from his very maleness, from the sheer fact that he is a man, that he simply ‘can’t help it.’ Here are 5 insights into how men think and what they need from their female partners.
Teenage girls and adult women are often emotionally bruised when social media becomes their North Star for finding meaning and purpose in life. There are limits to what social media can positively provide and female users who do not understand these limits may struggle in a variety of ways. Here are four myths about social media.
Many cultivate a fantasy that when true love is present, a long-term relationship will magically materialize. Reading tea leaves and pulling petals from flowers-- “He loves me, He loves me not”-- does not manifest commitment. Keep these five points in mind to avoid the frustration and heartbreak that comes when love lingers but can't get off the ground.
The non-committal, emotionally unavailable man pairing with an overly attentive female who is willing to hang in there–no matter what–is a surprisingly common relationship. Always eager to sow wild oats, the male in this dynamic is frequently described as “a player.” Whether you are an ambivalent man or a woman who loves one, there is a way out of this trap.
Some differentiate dating as "fun and casual" while courting is "serious" with an eye toward marriage. For others, courting is entirely old school and not at all to be taken seriously. When done effectively, courting is an excellent way to improve the chance of finding a highly suitable romantic match. Here are 5 points that foster effective courting.
Unhappy relationships have a deeply hurtful impact on the self-image and self-esteem of women. New research is showing that relationship quality not only impacts psychological wellbeing but, even more astounding, the mortality of women. Here are 5 strategies to not only play to win hearts in your relationships but also for your own long-term physical and mental health.
Popular culture embraces romantic notions about “falling in love” or love striking when least expected as if it were something outside of human control, as in lightning storms and earthquakes. Give up fantasy in favor of goal-based love, because true romance needs a well-focused agenda. Here is a 5 point agenda for goal-based love.
Bogus rules when it comes to dating invariably lead to one of two ill-fated consequences: Playing the game culminates in a kind of bait and switch in which one member of the union tends to feel duped or one person continues to operate with a façade so that she never becomes fully known by her partner and ends up in a one-sided relationship. Here are 6 rules to reconsider.
Are you continually disappointed in your relationships? Are you considering divorce? Are you divorced or breaking up? Have you never had the kind of romantic relationship that deeply fulfills you? Consider conducting a relationship audit.
The next time you call yourself, your daughter, your mother, or your best friend a drama queen—pause, reflect. Ask yourself if you are avoiding your own feelings by not taking those of others seriously. The more you help those you love most to discover and understand their emotions the more closely you will follow your own.
Although a person may know quite clearly that a particular love interest or even marital partner is not necessarily good for them, some persevere in the partnership. Giving up fighting for something that should be naturally easy can be enormously relieving. And letting go manifests new love.
Girls are socialized to be ‘good girls’ when it comes to sex and are taught that they need to be sexual gatekeepers. At the same time, the culture at large trains girls to believe that their value lies in being sexually desirable. Alcohol offers adolescent girls a way out of reconciling the irreconcilable.
Parents agonize over how to help their children so they will be optimally socialized for academic and professional success. What gains far less attention, perhaps because it is a more intangible and abstract concept, is raising children for success in relationships. Here are 5 ways to improve your child's chances of having healthy, well adjusted relationships in adulthood.
Whether you are married, single or divorced, the merging of unconditional love, passion and friendship with the same person is possible and is within your reach. Perhaps doing this has seemed daunting to you in the past. Here is how to turn your perception of love from skeptic to romantic.
Whatever those awkward moments are during those first few dates for a new couple---i.e. pregnant pauses over a first meal together, inadvertently cutting off one another while speaking, the forced politeness or the inelegance of planning and executing an outing with a complete stranger, these moments are the seeds that must be sown to learn if a partnership can grow.
Do you find yourself attacking your partner or friends and then later regretting it? Do you find it easier to communicate your true feelings and opinions when you are angry? Anger is an ‘easy’ emotion—felt so intensely that words and actions flow instantaneously and without conscious reflection.
Do you attribute control of your successes and failures to yourself or to some fated force outside of your purview? Whether it is your weight, your emotions, your spouse, your children, your paycheck--do you continually find yourself feeling resentful or upset by the events in your life? Self-determination is a remedy for feeling perpetually victimized.
Overly fearing rejection can cause a person to act in a manner designed to achieve acceptance at any cost—even if the one she wants acceptance from is thoroughly inadequate. When someone you are interested in is not pursuing you, asking yourself what you are doing wrong is an ineffective strategy. Instead, consider these assessment questions.
Some busy people welcome an opportunity to be alone. For others it is painful. But avoiding it completely is a losing battle—it might be those 10 minutes driving in the car, not being able to fall asleep at night, waiting for someone to show up, wondering if someone will show up—inevitably everyone will find themselves unaccompanied from time to time.
The reason is always trivial compared to the time and energy bullies put into attacking their victim. But, the stated reason isn’t actually the point; the real reason for bullying is the sense of power it bestows on the bullies. For some girls, this is an addictive elixir that relieves them of relentless feelings of powerlessness.
A comprehensive study, sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, published last week in the journal JAMA Pediatrics found that close to one in 10 teens and young adults report perpetuating an act of sexual violence against another. Sex education focusing only on sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy is not enough