Everyone experiences setbacks. The most successful people freely admit they've failed many times. So what separates successful from unsuccessful individuals? The difference lies in how successful people respond to obstacles. Conversely, unsuccessful people allow failure to stunt their progress and growth.
There are many ways to respond when life throws you curveballs. Here are the top 15 things NOT to do in the face of failure:
1. Do look for someone to blame for every event in your life; never think about your own role in circumstances or how you could make things better.
2. Don't ever commit to anything wholeheartedly. Be cynical. Don’t believe in anything completely, yourself included.
3. Do go over and over events, how they should have been, how you should have behaved, how others should have responded. Remind yourself how you blew it. Especially dwell on events that are in the past and that you cannot change.
4. Do catastrophize or minimize anything and everything. Events are “nightmares” or “nothing." People are “ghastly or wonderful." Don’t be moderate or slow to judge about anything.
5. Don't tell anyone how you are feeling. Expect others to know. When your feelings boil over, shout a lot and use words such as “always” and “never” when describing your own and others’ behavior.
6. Do talk about other people behind their back. Spread gossip about others and don’t investigate the reality of events or worry about anyone’s feelings.
7. Do blurt out how you are feeling anywhere, any time, any place. After all, your feelings are your feelings.
8. Don’t set limits on how or when people can speak to you. Let them interrupt what you are doing, swear at you and complain to you publicly. Never confront them about how they are treating you.
9. Do everything as quickly as possible especially when dealing with tricky situations involving others. Don’t ask for extra time or think about how to approach things.
10. Do take everything personally. Hold grudges for as long as possible. Don’t tell the people involved what it is they have done. Build up your resentment as much as you can, stoking it up with reminders of past hurts and injustices.
11. Do be as hard as you can on yourself and others. Find yourself lacking. Tell yourself what an idiot you are. Remind yourself that you’ll never amount to anything and no-one likes you anyway.
12. Do delete this article. After all, who gets good advice from a website? Remind yourself that change is difficult; a leopard cannot change its spots.
13. Do be as grumpy as possible. Do not acknowledge other people if they say hello or thank you and definitely don’t smile or respond to any friendly overtures. Be suspicious.
14. Don't accept compliments. The person isn't sincere, they just want something or are passing the time of day. Just grunt or shrug. Don’t be gracious otherwise they might compliment you in the future.
15. Do eat junk food, smoke and drink when life gets hard. Certainly don’t relax or get any exercise—you simply haven’t got time!