Jason Rogers/Flickr
Source: Jason Rogers/Flickr

 The key developmental task of the teen years is to grapple with the questions, “Who am I?” and “Who do I want to become?”

One thing that interferes with this important task is the pressure teens feel to package and promote themselves, in order to look good to colleges or their social media followers. This focus on image over substance is the exact opposite of what teens need to become caring and contributing human beings. It’s also the exact opposite of what teens long for. As a clinician, I can tell you that what most teens want more than anything is a sense of meaning and purpose. They want to make a difference in the world. They want to feel that their efforts matter.

Dr. Marilyn Price-Mitchell’s new book, Tomorrow’s Change Makers describes her research with “engaged youth”—teens who have been actively involved in community service activities for three or more years. The stories she recounts are inspiring and give us a glimpse of the true strength and passion of young people. These teens demonstrate that community service can be much more than just another requirement or resume builder. It can be a means for teens to make a real difference in the world and to discover and develop their best selves.

Three key ingredients emerge from Dr. Price-Mitchell’s research regarding how to inspire teens to embrace “service beyond self.”

1) Experience: Give teens the opportunity to do hard things

The engaged teens in Dr. Price-Mitchell’s research reported experiencing emotional, moral, and practical challenges, and they explained that these struggles pushed them to “learning at the edge” so they had to push beyond their usual understanding. By doing hard things and having real responsibility, teens gained new skills and perspectives. They learned to think critically, solve problems, and interact with people who were not like them in order to achieve their service goals. Becoming capable helps teens envision the possibility of being change makers.

2) Reflection: Encourage teens to consider the meaning and purpose of their actions

Dr. Price-Mitchell states that 73% of the engaged teens in her study reported having life-changing, emotionally intense experiences that inspired their commitment to community service. These experiences caused teens to face moral dilemmas and ponder their personal values. This led to changes in how teens saw themselves in the world. However, an enduring commitment to social action isn’t something that happens in an instant. Most engaged teens described their civic identity as something that unfolded over time, as new experiences prompted further reflection about personal choices and values.

3) Guidance: Support teens’ efforts to grow and become

Engaged teens said they learned their moral values from their families, but many also mentioned meaningful one-on-one relationships with non-parent adults who believed in them. These helpful adults encouraged teens and helped them gain necessary skills, then stepped back to allow the teens to gain real-world experience and become competent by navigating problems and making their own decisions and hard choices.

Tomorrow’s Change Makers is an inspiring and hopeful book with important information for those who care about youth development. To learn more about Dr. Price-Mitchell’s work, visit www.RootsofAction.com or her Psychology Today blog, The Moment of Youth

Related posts:

Lifting the Burden of Potential

What Friends Teach Children 

How NOT to raise a narcissist 

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© Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD. Google+ Twitter: psychauthormom 

Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, is an author and clinical psychologist in Princeton, NJ (lic. # 35SI00425400). She frequently speaks at schools and conferences about parenting and children’s social and emotional development. www.EileenKennedyMoore.com

Subscribe to Dr. Kennedy-Moore’s monthly newsletter to be notified about new posts on the Growing Friendships blog. 

Eileen Kennedy-Moore, used with permission
Source: Eileen Kennedy-Moore, used with permission

Dr. Kennedy-Moore’s books and videos:

-- Have you ever wanted a parenting course you could do at YOUR convenience? Check out this fun and fascinating audio/video series on children’s feelings and friendships from The Great Courses®: Raising Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids. || Topics include: Teaching Kids to Care; Developing Genuine Self-Esteem; How Kids Manage Anxiety and Anger; Playing Well With Others; Growing Up Social in the Digital Age. VIDEO preview.

On sale 70% OFF at www.TheGreatCourses.com/Kids

-- Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child's True Potential || Chapters include: Tempering Perfectionism; Building Connection; Developing Motivation; Finding Joy. VIDEO preview.

-- The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help Your Child Make Friends || Chapters include: The Shy Child; The Little Adult; The Short-Fused Child; The Different Drummer.

-- What About Me? 12 Ways To Get Your Parents' Attention Without Hitting Your Sister. VIDEO preview.

Growing Friendships blog posts are for general educational purposes only. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation. You’re welcome to link to this post, but please don’t reproduce it without written permission from the author.

Day 713 / 365” by Jason Rogers / CC BY 2.0

 

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