Why Popular Dating Advice Is Keeping You Single

Popular dating advice consistently leads single people away from the very love they are seeking. Research explains why this is and what to do about it.

The Six Steps to Sacred Citizenship

According to Stephen Dinan, author of the Sacred America, there are six steps each of us can take that create world-change and personal joy. Here are those six steps:

The 2 Questions You Have to Ask About Your Relationship

This simple exercise will lead you to greater intimacy, joy and healing in your most important relationships.

Losing Love—and Finding It Again

My extraordinary father recently passed away at 90. How he freed himself from hate’s grip, healed his relationship with me, and reclaimed his love for his wife is a story of hope.

A Research-Backed Recipe for Deep Romance on Valentines Day

These two exercises are a research-backed recipe for a profoundly romantic Valentine’s Day; they will deepen your long-term bond, reduce stress, and even improve your day-after!

An Intimacy Micro-Meditation For Your New Year

Recognizing the value of the intimacy gifts we have already is one of the greatest ways to improve our lives. This short practice will help you discover your own intimacy gifts.

Three Liberating Insights For Single People

Here are the three most liberating insights I know for single people. Follow them, and you’ll change the course of your dating life in surprising and wonderful ways.

A Life-Changing Exercise for Anyone Who Has Lost a Loved One

Perhaps the greatest secret to a love-filled life is to cherish the relationships we already have--including relationships with those who have passed. Here is a simple yet profoundly healing exercise for anyone who has lost a loved one.

Why You're Lucky to be Single and Seeking Love

If you’re single and you’re willing to treat your dating life as a journey of growth, then you’re very lucky. Why? Because the way we search for love usually determines the kind of love we find. By approaching your dating life with deeper awareness, you have the power to change your romantic future in powerful, positive ways.

The Simple Exercise That Will Lead You Toward Love

The path to love is never simple. When we decide to pursue our longing for love, we’re led down a path with challenges we might never have dreamed of. For me, the decision to become a father—as a forty-something, single gay man---is what changed everything. In this post, I’d like to offer a potent exercise for following your own call to love—and share my personal story.

3 Steps to Resolving the Conflicts That Hold You Back

This simple technique is designed to deepen all of your intimate relationships, including your relationship with yourself. Each of its three steps leads to a deeper state of authenticity, a gentle, skillful “overthrow” of the inner and outer voices which hold us back from deeper love.

Sparkle Versus Glow—and What That Means For Your Love Life

I recently had a dialogue with Sophia Dembling, author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After. Both of us had books come out at about the same time concerning the search for love. Her insights on the distinction between glow and sparkle hold one of the greatest keys to finding and keeping healthy love.

The Quickest, Smartest Way to Bring More Love into Your Life

In deciding your most important goals for 2015, don’t forget the factor that's most likely to give you joy, contentment, and a deep sense of personal meaning and mission. We all know what that is: It's loving relationships. I'm referring to all forms of love, not just romantic love. Here is the simplest and best way to create a more love-filled year ahead.

Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt: Insight-Gems for Singles

I am so pleased to share my interview with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt on the conscious search for love. Simply interviewing this extraordinary couple was an inspiring experience. There are many gems of insight here, and I encourage every thoughtful person who is serious about finding love to take the time to read this.

How to Discover Your Core Intimacy Gifts

Young or old, single or coupled, each of us is faced with the great challenge of learning to love. Our core gifts lie at the heart of our intimacy journey, and when we identify them, we hold an invaluable key to understanding ourselves and all our relationships. Answering these two simple questions will enable you to discover your own core intimacy gifts.

Lady Valor: Kristin Beck, gender-role freedom and love

Lady Valor, airing this Thursday, is an inspiring CNN documentary about transgender activist Kristin Beck. As a decorated Navy Seal, Christopher Beck crossed enemy lines to fight for freedom. As Kristin, she crosses equally scary enemy lines; the gender taboos that hold all of us back from full self-expression and deeper intimacy.

2 Ideas That Will Change The Way You Think About Romance

The majority of dating advice subtly guides us away from authentic intimacy.

A Simple Question That Will Change Your Search for Love

Most advice on seeking love focuses on the skills of seeking, not the skills of loving. Apps, events and websites offer endless opportunities to meet, but until we learn how to choose healthy intimacy and nurture its tender new shoots, it’s unlikely we’ll find the love we seek. We can transform our search for intimacy by approaching it in a new way.

An Interview with Judith Orloff, MD: The Power of Surrender

Judith Orloff, M.D. is a psychiatrist, intuitive healer, and NY Times bestselling author. Her most recent book is the national bestseller The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life. In this interview, Judith explains what surrender really means, and how we can use it to find deeper intimacy, joy and meaning in our lives.

What No One Teaches You About Love (but Should)

Fear of intimacy isn’t a character flaw; it is part of being human. If we're breathing, we have fear of intimacy. The question: What can we do to change that?

The Power of the Gifts We Hide

Each of us creates a “false self” to protect our “true self” when it feels frightening to be genuine in the world. If our false self becomes dominant, it begins to bury the very qualities it was originally designed to protect. These buried qualities often hold the key to deeper love, creativity and meaning in our lives. How can we free them?

The Two Best Questions For Your Sex Life

Often, the questions we ask of ourselves are what finally carve the shape of our lives. A great question excites us, opens new doors, and invites both compassion and curiosity. I’d like to offer two such questions about sex. Your answers will teach you rich lessons about your sex life—and more.

Creating an Intimacy-Rich Life: A Journey In Three Stages

In my practice as a psychotherapist, I’ve observed a remarkable pattern in the lives of people who strive for healthy intimacy. This pattern is marked by three important--and often surprising—stages. Each stage is a mark of real progress, yet few of us are taught how to navigate these challenges. I invite you to consider which stages relate to your own intimacy journey.

Three Mindfulness Exercises to Improve Your Dating Life

The search for a loving partner is one of our great life-tasks. Yet most dating advice is superficial; focusing endlessly upon the power of seduction and flat abs. Here are three exercises which approach dating as an adventure of self-discovery. They are eye-opening and fun, and they will help you grow in self-respect while opening up new possibilities in your dating life

Seduction Strategies Don't Lead to Love—These Skills Do

The search for love is one of our greatest life-tasks. Unfortunately, the quality of much dating advice and the atmosphere of most dating venues ranges from superficial to downright demeaning. The skills of dating are the skills of intimacy—not game-playing. These seven techniques will speed your path to love and strengthen your sense of self. Consider giving them a try.

Why Coming Out Isn't Just For Gay People

Jason Collins’ coming out electrified the country—for more than political reasons. Everyone wrestles with the struggle between fear and authenticity. Coming out is an act of heroism we're all called to—and you don’t have to be gay to join the party. This post will offer a simple exercise for naming your "personal closets", and gently liberating yourself from their hold.

From Demeaning Rules to Intimacy Tools: A Wiser Path to Love

Valentines Day can be a challenging day for single people. But it can become a day of hope--if we resolve to ignore the bankrupt dating advice foisted upon us and finally align our search for love with the tools of real intimacy. The following three suggestions may fly in the face of most everything you've learned about dating--but they lead to real love.

How to Create Deep Intimacy In Imperfect Relationships

Arielle Ford is the bestselling author of Wabi Sabi Love. In this interview, she teaches a simple and joyful way to deepen the relationships that matter most to us. Through gentle shifts in perception inspired by the ancient Japanese artform of Wabi Sabi, you can create profound healing in your relationships. Here's how:

How To Find Your Core Gifts In Your Greatest Challenges

On this first day of the New Year, I’d like to share a counter-intuitive approach to human change that I find tremendously exciting. Here is its central idea: Our deepest wounds frequently spring from our greatest gifts, and by acknowledging those gifts, we can speed and deepen our own healing.

Sunlight and Singing: A Holiday Wish Via T.S. Eliot

This holiday season, I'd love to share an excerpt from a poem by T.S. Eliot that captures hope for the year ahead. Not greeting-card hope, but the kind of hope that can live alongside sadness, bewilderment and uncertainty.

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