White Sensitivity Is Like Black Sensitivity

Being put in your body unexpectedly is status-lowering, whatever color your skin is.

Why I Still Don’t Like Diversity Events

Humility itself becomes a perfectionistic ideal, and it’s alarming how arrogant people can become about how self-effacing they are.

Psychological-Mindedness as a Worldview

The fantasy of personal perfectibility has always been the enemy of psychological-mindedness.

Why I Prefer “Victim” to “Survivor”

Change the connotation of “victim,” not the term for it.

How Happy Are You?

If researchers really wanted to know how happy people are, they’d ask those people’s colleagues, neighbors, and family members, not the people themselves.

Can a Cook Be Replaced by a Recipe?

Even manualized therapies need clinical thinkers.

Real Men Don’t Type

In the computer age, the available jobs look to real men like training to be a girl.

4 Parts of a Real Apology

Apology is a relational process that leads to change.

Managing Emotions: Mindfulness, Impulsivity, and Goldilocks

Mindfulness is an affordable substitute for the real thing.

Getting It Wrong on the Way to Getting It Right

You can’t get to the master clinician’s cherished state of not knowing what to do directly from the trainee’s aversive state of not knowing what to do.

Emotions: What Are They?

The most important trait of a therapist is the ability to take strong emotions in stride.

Fear and Loathing in Orlando

Most people respond to being hated by hating.

One Size Does Not Fit All for Depression, Anxiety, or Cancer

Rules are great as long as we never forget they are heuristics; only a few are laws of nature.

On Being Your Own Houseguest

How to use your personal reactions as a couple’s therapist

The Struggle to Unlearn Psychology

Many millennials have minimal exposure to extinction situations, because someone constantly reinforced them.

The Least You Need to Know

You can’t know everything about anything, and the desire to know everything produces a sense of inadequacy.

3 Ways to Improve the Conversation on Economic Policy

We need to stop asking who has a right to our generosity and ask instead who is included in “we.”

3 Strategies for Troubled Teens

Replace a troubled personal identity with a more rewarding vocational identity.

A Behaviorist Contemplates Retirement (and Death)

A friend recently asked me if I would eventually want a retirement party. “Absolutely,” I said. “It’s called a funeral.”

When Millennials Take Charge of Psychology

Stupidity is the ratio of what you think you know to what you know.

6 Relationships in Every Marriage

Identifying which of the six marital relationships is implicated in any conflict can help the couple come up with resolutions and strategies to prevent future conflicts.

6 Things I Hate in Movies

Hollywood has a cocaine-induced view of the human condition.

Therapy Goals: Yours, Mine, and Ours

The definition of health is typically not in question in a medical model.

Working with Involuntary Therapy Patients

A therapist is an architect, not a carpenter.

Everyone’s a Princess Sometime

Most of what hyper-reactive people refer to as “triggers” are actually princess peas, evidence of their superior sensitivity that justifies the claims they make on others.

Psychology in "The Martian"

The correct way to live is based on a reasoned estimate of how much time we have left.

The Affluenza Defense

Poor black boys who steal booze and cars and recklessly kill people should be treated like the rich white boys, not vice versa.

Psychology in Making a Murderer

The most entrenched cognitive bias is in the direction of things we’ve already said and beliefs we’ve already acted on.

Why I Don’t Exercise As I Should

We don’t engage in treatment that is good for us if we don’t accept its mechanics or we don’t have a vessel for our positive feelings about the person treating us.

Dreams Are Allegories

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean an approving attitude toward everything you do.

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