The Triggers of Sexual Desire: Men vs. Women

The findings of neuroscientific research on the nature and origins of our erotic interests aren't always intuitive. In fact, there's a good chance that major gaps exist in your understanding of where your sexual preferences really come from. Some of them may have puzzled you all along.

What Brain Science Can Teach You About Sex

This post is an introduction to a succession of posts I’ll be doing that explore the latest findings on human sexual desire. In particular, the series will focus on the various brain cues that fire the erotic imagination of males and females, regardless of . . .

Why Do Women Fall for Serial Killers?

What are the subconscious motives that drive a woman to become an ardent "fan"—or even wife—of a mass murderer? In this post I'll delve into the biological, sexual, and psychological dynamics that best explain such aberrant behavior.

The Wisest Quotes on Wisdom

What's most interesting about wisdom is that the best things said about it have been voiced many times over. There’s a universal understanding of wisdom that clearly transcends both time and place.

Afghan Massacre: How Accountable Are We If Our Brain Is Injured?

Out of context, such a question might sound strange—or possibly stupid. After all, if we're not responsible for our brain and what it tells us to do, who would be? But, on the other hand, what if, because of TBI and PTSD, we suffer a psychotic break?

Why You Can't Trust Your Brain

Anyone wanting an update on the fascinating developments in cognitive psychology and neuroscience (and, indirectly, evolutionary psychology as well) would do well to purchase a copy of David DiSalvo's informative and entertaining "What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite." . . .

How to Discover Your Sweet Spot

Your "sweet spot" is something like your very own golden mean. It's about doing, or not doing, that which in any particular situation is optimal for you. And knowing what's, personally, "just right" is hardly a trait you're born with. Nor is it a matter of intuition...

Most Memorable Quotes on Unrequited Love

There's something terribly tragic about unrequited love. Some have even committed suicide over it. Yet in a sense what could be more romantic? An "untried" love is virtually without limits precisely because—never having really begun—there's been no opportunity for disillusionment to set in.

12 Ways to Age—Into Agelessness, Part 3

Of the dozen suggestions in this post for feeling perpetually young, Part 1 took up the first four, and Part 2 elaborated on an additional four. Here I'll expand on four final ways to stay young in mind, regardless of age.

12 Ways to Age—Into Agelessness, Part 2

Part 1 introduced the subject of perpetuating youth by emphasizing that it's your attitude that principally determines how old you feel. Expanding on the various methods to stay young in mind, the present segment takes up four additional ways to defy aging.

12 Ways to Age—Into Agelessness, Part 1

"I'm a teenager trapped in an old body." ~ Betty White What if eternal youth had essentially nothing to do with looks? Or vigor, stamina, endurance? Or, for that matter, ignorance or naivete—which, after all, are "outgrown" by maturity? . . .

Narcissism: Why It's So Rampant in Politics

Consider that two of the things narcissists most desire are money (i.e., lots of money) and power (the more the better). Consider also that many of the individuals entering the political arena have already made their fortune, or inherited it. . . .

Self-Discipline: Can It Verge on Masochism?

Examples of self-disciplined behaviors seriously interfering with personal pleasure and excitement are virtually infinite. Comfort, amusement, delight, adventure, entertainment, titillation--you name it--focusing on what, ultimately, will best serve your interests involves all sorts of sacrifices. . . .

Do Therapists Live Vicariously Through Their Clients?

My short answer to this question is: "I certainly hope so!" And here's why. . . .

Halloween Quotes: What They Say About Our Fears

To the extent that Halloween revolves around an emotion, there's no question but that emotion is fear. After all, the most compelling creatures of the day (or night!) are monsters. And these bloodcurdling ogres represent either the freakish dead--such as mummies, skeletons, and ghosts--or the ghoulishly undead--like zombies and vampires. . . .

The Wittiest Halloween Jokes, Riddles, and Puns

Searching the Web for the very best Halloween humor has been a most fun task. I take great pleasure in all sorts of word play and creative punning. I also admire the cleverness of those who make up new words simply for the fun (pun?!) of it--like "horrorscope," "casketeria," or "plumpkin" (for a fat jack-o-lantern!).

The Narcissist's Dilemma: They Can Dish It Out, But . . .

‭When criticized, narcissists show themselves woefully incapable of retaining any emotional poise, or receptivity. And it really doesn't much matter whether the nature of that criticism is constructive or destructive. . . .

Why We Hide Emotional Pain

Who hasn't had the experience of asking someone whether anything is wrong--for it's blatantly obvious from their expression or tone of voice that they're upset--only to have them respond: "No, I'm fine."?

The True Spirit of Reverse Psychology

Whenever I see something on reverse psychology, I'm compelled to review it. After all, I once published a comprehensive therapist's guidebook called Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy. So when I first read Jim Afremow's PT post, I thought it must be some sort of (ill-timed) April Fools' joke. . . .

Fear-Inspired Sex: A Woman's Ultimate Defense--or Weapon?

Having worked with couples for over 30 years, I've often observed a phenomenon that goes against just about everything therapists have to say about women and sex. And what ‘s that? Perhaps Billy Crystal said it best . . .

The Past: Don't Dwell on It, Revision It! Part 2

Revisiting bygone times to "revision" them differs dramatically from simply dwelling on them. For the process of revisioning the past is mostly about reperceiving it in a way that helps correct present deficiencies in your self-image.

The Past: Don't Dwell on It, Revision It! Part 1

Rarely is dwelling on the past seen in a positive light. Nor should it be. Thinking too much about times gone by typically keeps your mind--and life--stuck in neutral (and maybe even shifts it into reverse). . . .

Selfish vs. Self-ish: What's the Really BIG Difference?

No question but that the whole notion of selfishness is devoid of positive connotation. Arguing that it warrants being viewed as virtuous (as does Ayn Rand) is, finally, about as convincing as Gordon Gekko's egomaniacal affirmation that "greed is good."

The Paradox of Anger: Strength or Weakness?

When you get mad,‭ ‬your throat is roused and your voice gets louder.‭ ‬Inside, you feel a certain indescribable strength.‭ L‬iterally (or,‭ ‬I should say,‭ ‬biochemically), the emotion does in fact‭ "‬empower‭" ‬you. But such chemically manufactured strength is mostly illusory. . . .

Cold People: What Makes Them That Way? Part 2

In response to feeling emotionally disconnected from their primary caregiver, a baby's psychological defense mechanisms relate mostly to their efforts to protect themselves from the painful sting of rejection.

Cold People: What Makes Them That Way? Part 1

Doubtless, you've had the experience of interacting with someone who was--we'll say--"off-puttingly stand-offish." Detached, seemingly preoccupied, and not at all open or friendly, they seemed to hold you at a distance. . .

Wittiest Sex Quotes Ever

Witty sex quotes--especially those that beguile us into laughing at ourselves--deserve our (at least) "quasi-serious" attention. To maintain our psychological balance, it's essential we let ourselves chuckle over all the incongruities, inconsistencies, and flat-out contradictions related to what may be our favorite pastime.

When Life's Unfair: How to Deal with Fines for Being Alive

You're minding your own business. Taken all due precautions. Haven't had any mental lapse. Been responsible and conscientious. Certainly, haven't hurt anyone, or done anything wrong. In a word, you're innocent. Then, dutifully following a traffic signal, you stop at a light that's just turned red, and are promptly rear-ended...

What Distinguishes Erotica from Pornography?

Even though many people regard these two orientations to depicting human sexuality as overlapping (and some even as identical), I see them as existing on essentially different planes. In this brief--and, I'm sure, controversial--essay, I'll attempt to explain why. . . .

Is Anger Management Really a "Flawed Concept"?

As someone with a clinical specialty in anger control for some 25 years, I feel compelled to take exception to several simplistic points made in a recent post by fellow blogger, Stanton E. Samenow.

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