The saying “keep an open mind” suggests the value of not clinging to old assumptions and beliefs. If your life lacks adventure, satisfaction, or fulfillment, here’s what to do.
This title might seem to smack of hyperbole. But as a therapist I’ve seen this dismal pattern of contentiousness all too often. So how do couples "achieve" such unending friction?
When you’re really frustrated with someone (for whatever reason), you need to say something. But what? And how do you say it? And what if you remain silent?
It's only logical that to get your partner to hear you the way you want, you first need to emotionally connect with them. Yet that’s almost never what happens.
In assessing present-day perpetrators, it's important to consider testosterone—the "ethics-free" chemical of desire—as being the organic culprit of their objectification of women.
Unlike courtship, once couples enter into a presumably lasting commitment, they both—however unconsciously—focus more on what they never really liked about each other.
Most pathological narcissists suffer from marked deficits in self-image. But their wildly overcompensating sense of superiority and entitlement can cause others to suffer, too.
When couples enter therapy to work on what they see as their main difficulty, there's generally a more fundamental, underlying problem not yet recognized by them.
As a child, did you frequently feel behind the curve—or eight-ball? If so, what was that like for you? And why do you think it was such a struggle for you to blend in with others?
Having an inner taskmaster is a mixed blessing. It can offer you various advantages. But it can also be an oppressive force, keeping you from experiencing many of life’s joys.
It’s common to talk about what therapy can do for you. But before therapy is able to eliminate disturbing personal and relational problems, it needs first to undo what caused them.
You're born with various survival programs (or defenses). Later, when you actually experience a serious threat, you acquire more defenses that can end up harming you.
It happens routinely. So often, when I begin counseling with a couple, not one but both parties complain that the other is trying to control them. But just how accurate is this?
Common wisdom advises you to avoid, or try to let go of, upsetting feelings. However—and like a lot of self-help advice—such straightforward guidance too often won't work.
Your most important possession is your integrity. It’s your trustworthiness, word of honor. Yet at some point you’ve certainly violated this most “sacred” part of yourself. Why?
This title may seem unduly pessimistic—or downright perverse. But as a cautionary note, there are times when your dreams or lofty ideals must bow to inescapable reality.
When parents haven’t resolved their deeper psychological issues, or broken their bad habits, they’re likely—however unintentionally—to pass them on to their children.
Absent the substantial chemical attraction intrinsic to the heated glow of romantic love, can you actually stay in love with someone who you feel can’t “get” who you are?
One of the most baffling psychological problems is to acutely feel the reality of something without its having any basis in fact. Here are some examples...
To best understand yourself and how you relate to others, you need to consider how, as a child, you might have adapted to your parents’ only partial acceptance of you.
Academic journals examining the psychological and sexual aspects of the navel are almost nonexistent. But Wikipedia’s extensive, even scholarly, coverage fills this gap.
Most people admit that the most exciting time of their relationship occurred in courtship. And surely nothing quite compares to its freshness, novelty, and intriguing uncertainty.
If you’re married, or in a committed relationship, you’ve probably noticed that some of your arguments never seem to get resolved. Rather, they regularly get recycled.
Being able to accurately “take in” what someone is sharing is critical. For most people don’t require that you agree with them, just that you understand them.
This blog is mostly about helping readers develop deeper insights into themselves and others. Aiming to be as practical as possible--and adopting a non-blaming, non-shaming perspective toward our various foibles--it suggests ways in which we may become more aware, more contented, and happier, individuals. The therapist and writer's posts have more than 23 million views.