Avoiding Conflict is Good for Marriages

Avoiding Conflict is Good for Marriages

Good news: Avoidance of conflict is not necessarily a maladaptive cop out.

Let's Not Talk About It

Contrary to conventional wisdom, staying silent can be a good idea.

Boost Your Self-esteem by Being Less Destructive

It's only human to react destructively, but there's still no excuse for it.

Boost Your Confidence By Saying Less

Feeling compelled to justify preferences and decisions is common but doing so undermines self-confidence.

How Did We End Up Here?

Your romantic relationship has changed. And not for the better. Learn how to get off the road to disenchantment and onto the road to mature love.

Tantrum-free Holiday Season - This Is About Adult Tantrums

Imagine yourself on the other side of the camera: Are you laughing or panicking?

Here Comes Trouble

You can recognize red flags like an Iowa psychologist did.

Angry Christians Miss the Point

Anti-Christian, anti-traditional family, militant feminist! And not in a good way.

Feeling Secure in Relationships

Comfort and security. Adults seek positive feelings associated with early holding environment.

Forget Compromise

Forget compromise. Win the next round in the endless power struggle.
Five Reasons Not to Have a "Must Have" List

Five Reasons Not to Have a "Must Have" List

A "must have" list poisons reality.

Go Ahead. Demand Uber-compatibility!

No more negotiation! Do it my way!

The Problem With Authenticity

Placid on the surface. Turbulent underneath. Which is authentic?

Your Spouse Is Behaving Badly...

Yes, you and your spouse can stop behaving badly!

Runnin' with Your Hair Blowin' Back?

Intense negative emotions and a sense of urgency often go together.

Lessons from the Soap Opera with a Sense of Humor

Forty years of making us laugh and showing us what not to do in relationships.

Does Taking Command of Emotions Make You Heartless and Soulless?

Negative emotions are part of human nature but emotional self-regulation is key to realizing our higher nature.

The Three Best Reasons to Stop Blaming Your Spouse

Even when it really is his or her fault, choosing not to blame your spouse offers short-term and long-term benefits.

Are lowered expectations the key to happiness?

Sometimes, everyone's expectations are exceeded. But rarely.

Hey! Let your freak flag fly!

Free to be me means free to express my true feelings! Right?
Whew!  That's a stick not a snake!

Whew! That's a stick not a snake!

You can take command of your mind when it turns sticks into snakes.

Four Keys to Constructively Not Giving In

When you're having trouble getting along, try changing your habits of interaction.

How To Not Take It Personally

With brains preprogrammed to take everything personally, how can we overcome defensiveness?

School for Girls

How to go to the head of the class in self-responsibility

Disgruntled partners defend "honey-do" lists

And what is a "honey-do" list but a bid to control a partner's free time?
Love Do-overs

Love Do-overs

"How miserable would you have to get to be able to bear the actual separation, to go off and live your life so utterly unrecognized?" Michael Cunningham

Great Mistakes: Q&A with a reader in trouble

An email exchange between Dr. Meinecke and a reader of Everybody Marries the Wrong Person.

Great Mistakes - The Big Six Red Flags (Part 2)

Errors in judgment can reach critcal mass, when you are infatuated and choose to ignore misgivings. 

Great Mistakes - The Big Six Red Flags (Part 1)

Errors in judgment can reach critical mass, when you are infatuated and choose to ignore misgivings.

Alpha, Beta, Soulmate?: Irrelevant

Is your partner alpha or beta? Have you found your equal? Your soulmate? Knowing the answers to these questions is irrelevant to relationship satisfaction.