Some Thoughts on Coming in Second

At the Olympics, they say you don’t win Silver: you lose Gold. I came in second at my first swim meet, I was eight, and I have the silver (plated) medal to prove it. Michael Phelps has nothing to worry about.

I was a Second Class Boy Scout. Just couldn’t get the Morse code down to make it to First Class. I did make it all the way through Cub Scouts, even “graduated,” so joining the big guys seemed like the logical next step—until I discovered girls. Camping quickly lost its appeal, and I have no regrets.

I got signed by MCA Records, and then the president, who personally gave me the contract, died over the weekend. I wasn’t the new guy’s first choice, and it was a mess until the janitor said that he couldn’t get my song out of his head. A one-hit wonder, but fun.

I got into my second choice of colleges and my second choice of a major. I wanted music, but it was full (and Julliard had turned me down), so I went into psychology. I really didn’t think it would become my profession—the things that happen when we have to take second choices.

My second book never became a best seller, and it took my publisher a long time to ask me to do another one. For a while, I thought books were not going to be part of my literary career any longer, and then I got an offer to do a series.

I was my wife’s second husband and my father’s second child; however, my other half swears I’m her second child. This is based on my emotional maturity, not my age. I am also my dog’s second parent and my car’s second owner. One saved my soul, the other a few bucks.

I think you are getting the idea here. Coming in second is not always a bad thing, and sometimes it’s a very good thing. It can also help keep you amused at your own life, which is one secret to happiness. You can choose to see coming-in-second as a loss, but is it? The twists and turns that life throws our way are not always to our liking, but is being the second best in the world or your class or your job or your last drag race a bad thing? Don’t let coming-in-second take away from the fact that you are actually in the game (of life) and succeeding.

Everyone who has been around for more than a couple of decades has experienced both good and bad days, weeks, and even years. Sometimes many years. One of the things that keeps us coming back for more is the fact that things can change for the better in a New York minute, and where life takes you is not always a negative. Give the new choice a chance to blossom and fill out a little. I didn’t hit my stride until I was close to fifty, so don’t make this a race. Wouldn’t you rather go out doing what you love than retiring from something that you can’t stand any longer?

Years ago, the Avis rental car company used the slogan, “We’re number two. We try harder!” Please don’t take it personally if you don’t get your first choice or win your event. No need to be hard on yourself. There are plenty of people out there who will do that for you—if you want to experience what it feels like, just start a blog.