It is not juggling that puts women at risk of depression, but what all too often drives hectic activity: a compulsion to please others, or to live up to an ideal and a mind-set in which one’s own desires are worth less than those of others.
A child who is able to reflect on what she is feeling, why she feels as she does and how other people’s thoughts and feelings inform their behavior is more likely to be able to manage her own feelings – and more likely to become the adult who thrives in personal and professional life.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.”
Midlife women have long been observed to display more assertiveness and be more adventurous. What midlife research requires is a sharper focus on how we reflect on our own feelings and desires.
Sibling squabbles are a familiar part of family life, but the mind-shaping importance of the passionate mix of love and rivalry is often ignored.