We all know a bully. The one who creates an atmosphere of intimidation. The one whom everyone is afraid of—the one who might transgress against any member of the community at the drop of a hat. The one who talks badly about so many—and who creates such an air of intimidation that people are afraid to speak up. You know one, right?
Bullies are not a new feature of humanity. People have had to deal with bullies in their communities pretty much forever.
An evolutionary perspective on human behavior makes it clear that there are multiple routes to success in life, for better or worse. On one hand, people who demonstrate genuine kindness tend to be appreciated by others (see Miller, 2000). We have a special appreciation for altruists in our communities, regularly preferring them as social partners over others who don’t show the hallmarks of giving.
But in a social world that has a bunch of altruists, selfish, or “dark,” traits can emerge and they can, for better or worse, thrive—largely by exploiting the goodwill of the altruists among us.
In recent years, psychologists have paid much attention to a cluster of dark traits that we refer to as the Dark Triad (see Jonason et al., 2013). These traits are as follows:
It turns out that these three traits tend to be positively intercorrelated. This is a fancy way of saying that people who score high on one of these traits tend to score high on the other two.
And think about what you’ve got when you have someone who is very high on all three of these traits. Well, that’d be someone who thinks that he or she is the center of everything, who cares little about others, and who exploits and manipulates others to get his or her way. In short, you’ve got a dyed-in-the-wool bully on your hands.
But don’t worry, humans evolved a variety of behavioral patterns designed to deal with all kinds of social contingencies. Research on the nature of transgressions in social communities has shown that when a bully emerges and transgresses against someone, it is common for others in the community to punish the bully (Fehr & Fischbacher, 2004). Such “altruistic punishment” is, essentially, a feature of our social interactions that places a check on the power of the bully. Research has shown, further, that the most effective kind of altruistic punishment comes from someone other than the victim. That is, for altruistic punishment to work best, the person who calls out the bully needs to be someone other than the victim him or herself.
Coalition Building and Beating the Bully
In fact, one of the core elements of human evolution seems to be our proclivity to form coalitions in efforts to punish a transgressor in the community (see Bingham & Souza, 2009). In an extraordinarily in-depth examination of the evolutionary origins of human social behavior, Bingham and Souza make a strong case that a critical junction in human evolutionary history came about when humans developed (a) the tendency to form coalitions across kin lines and (b) the ability to throw rocks with great speed and accuracy. Interestingly, these two features seemed to have evolved at about the same time. And looking at them together, one can easily see how these features worked together to allow a group of individuals to exert power over one individual. In fact, this is a key part of the human evolutionary story.
Of course, it’s rare that we will get our friends together and throw stones at someone these days. But humans form coalitions and metaphorically throw stones on a regular basis.
There have always been bullies and there probably always will be. From a personality psychology perspective, bullies may be thought of as exploitive individuals—people who show the hallmarks of the Dark Triad, caring little about others and seeing others as pawns in their own game. While people tend to vary on the traits that underlie this dark personality constellation, every now and then we run into someone who is very high on each facet. Every now and then, we run into a bona fide bully.
But there are options. For eons, humans have invoked third-party altruistic punishment to undermine the power of bullies. Further, humans have formed coalitions, showing bullies that there is power in numbers. If you have a bully in your world, I say that you make like our prehistoric ancestors, form a coalition, and take collective action. Being nice is one thing—being exploited is another. And remember, the community does not belong to the bully—by definition, the community belongs to all of us.
Bingham, P. M., & Souza, J. (2009). Death from a distance and the birth of a humane universe. Lexington, KY: BookSurge Publishing.
Fehr, Ernst; Fischbacher, Urs (2004). Third-party punishment and social norms. Evolution and Human Behavior. 25 (2): 63–87.
Jonason, P. K., Kaufman, S. B., Webster, G. D, & Geher, G. (2013). What lies beneath the Dark Triad Dirty Dozen: Varied relations with the Big Five. Individual Differences Research, 11, 81-90.
Miller G. F. (2000). The mating mind: How sexual choice shaped the evolution of human nature. London, Heineman.