Being a great individual pales in comparison to being a strong member of a great community. Sometimes I think we work too hard to encourage people to strive for greatness in themselves, without stepping back and realizing that it may be even more important to encourage others to strive to help cultivate great communities. As I’ve written before, humans are an inherently communal ape. And much of our evolved psychology derives from this point.
Moral emotions (see Trivers, 1985) are special human emotions that seem to have the evolved function of keeping individuals connected to one another. For instance, the state of guilt motivated ancestors of ours to apologize to others and to take steps to be re-accepted by members of their communities. Such emotional states not only benefit the individual, but they also end up benefiting the community at large, as a community that is filled with people who experience such community-building emotional states is likely to prosper.
A core feature of the human moral emotions relates to how we deal with transgressions or mistakes - which comprise a fundamental part of the human puzzle.
We All Make Mistakes (An Evolutionary Analysis)
Sure, you know intuitively that we all make mistakes. But you might find it helpful to consider what this point fully means in an evolutionary context (see Geher, 2014). Consider this fact: The evolution of all organisms that exist today is the result of necessary mistakes. The process of natural selection includes the concept of mutation, whereby a random genetic accident leads to some new physical or behavioral feature that is introduced into the next generation. When such genetic mistakes lead to increases in replication success, such “mistakes” are “selected” - ultimately leading to large-scale changes in the species itself.
From this perspective, then, we can thank such genetic mistakes for the existence of such beautiful products as great blue herons, white-tailed deer, monarch butterflies, sequoia trees, and great apes like you and me.
From an evolutionary perspective, then, mistakes account for how we got here in the first place. And any student of human psychology knows that mistakes also characterize human behavior across the lifespan. A toddler makes plenty of mistakes when learning to read. An elementary school kid might make a mistake when he uncontrollably laughs in class during an important lesson. A teenager, as we all know (unless we happen to currently be one ...), will make dozens of mistakes every single day. A young adult might not budget enough time to studying for a final exam. A middle-aged adult might set the alarm clock to the wrong time and miss an important meeting. An older adult might forget the name of the presidential candidate that she is in the middle of insulting at a dinner party. And so forth. Mistakes are truly embedded in the fabric of human life.
Given how prevalent mistakes are in life, it makes sense that we would have some kind of mechanism for getting beyond mistakes in our relationships with others. From an evolutionary perspective, forgiveness is exactly this mechanism. At one level, forgiving others actually makes the forgiver feel good (see Gorsuch, R. L. & Hao, 1993). At a broader, evolutionarily relevant level, forgiveness has all the hallmarks of a moral emotion designed to help cultivate social relationships. Forgiving another for some kind of mistake or transgression has the primary function of keeping social connections that ultimately bind a community together. This is partly why all major religions, which can be seen as important products in the human evolutionary story (see Wilson, 2007), encourage forgiveness in social relations.
Of course, transgressions vary in terms of such features as (a) how much intent is behind them and (b) how severe they are - so forgiveness is more difficult at some times than at others. This said, all things considered, it’s important for us to always consider forgiveness as a prominent tool in our toolbox of social behaviors and strategies when dealing with others. Forgiveness is a basic part of the human story - and it’s played a primary role in allowing imperfect, error-prone creatures like you and me to exist in strong communities for thousands of generations.
Bottom Line
Mistakes will always be made - they are a basic part of the story of life itself. In humans, forgiveness has emerged as a social process that has helped people deal with mistakes made by others in their social worlds. A takeaway message is this: When someone in your life makes a mistake, make sure that you always fully consider forgiveness in the suite of options you have at your social toolkit in regard to how you respond. Remember, you’ve made thousands of mistakes yourself, after all. Further, don't ever forget that without mistakes, none of us would even be here at all.
Gorsuch, R. L. & Hao, J. Y. (1993) Forgiveness: An exploratory factor analysis and its relationship to religious variables, Review of Religious Research, 34, 351-363.
Trivers, R. (1985). Social evolution. Menlo Park, CA: Benjamin/Cummings.
Wilson, D. S. (2007). Evolution for everyone: How Darwin’s theory can change the way we think about our lives. New York, NY: Delacorte Press.
Being a great individual pales in comparison to being a strong member of a great community. Sometimes I think we work too hard to encourage people to strive for greatness in themselves, without stepping back and realizing that it may be even more important to encourage others to strive to help cultivate great communities. As I’ve written before, humans are an inherently communal ape. And much of our evolved psychology derives from this point.
Moral emotions (see Trivers, 1985) are special human emotions that seem to have the evolved function of keeping individuals connected to one another. For instance, the state of guilt motivated ancestors of ours to apologize to others and to take steps to be re-accepted by members of their communities. Such emotional states not only benefit the individual, but they also end up benefiting the community at large, as a community that is filled with people who experience such community-building emotional states is likely to prosper.
A core feature of the human moral emotions relates to how we deal with transgressions or mistakes - which comprise a fundamental part of the human puzzle.
We All Make Mistakes (An Evolutionary Analysis)
Sure, you know intuitively that we all make mistakes. But you might find it helpful to consider what this point fully means in an evolutionary context (see Geher, 2014). Consider this fact: The evolution of all organisms that exist today is the result of necessary mistakes. The process of natural selection includes the concept of mutation, whereby a random genetic accident leads to some new physical or behavioral feature that is introduced into the next generation. When such genetic mistakes lead to increases in replication success, such “mistakes” are “selected” - ultimately leading to large-scale changes in the species itself.
From this perspective, then, we can thank such genetic mistakes for the existence of such beautiful products as great blue herons, white-tailed deer, monarch butterflies, sequoia trees, and great apes like you and me.
From an evolutionary perspective, then, mistakes account for how we got here in the first place. And any student of human psychology knows that mistakes also characterize human behavior across the lifespan. A toddler makes plenty of mistakes when learning to read. An elementary school kid might make a mistake when he uncontrollably laughs in class during an important lesson. A teenager, as we all know (unless we happen to currently be one ...), will make dozens of mistakes every single day. A young adult might not budget enough time to studying for a final exam. A middle-aged adult might set the alarm clock to the wrong time and miss an important meeting. An older adult might forget the name of the presidential candidate that she is in the middle of insulting at a dinner party. And so forth. Mistakes are truly embedded in the fabric of human life.
Forgiveness Evolved to Help Cultivate Community
Given how prevalent mistakes are in life, it makes sense that we would have some kind of mechanism for getting beyond mistakes in our relationships with others. From an evolutionary perspective, forgiveness is exactly this mechanism. At one level, forgiving others actually makes the forgiver feel good (see Gorsuch, R. L. & Hao, 1993). At a broader, evolutionarily relevant level, forgiveness has all the hallmarks of a moral emotion designed to help cultivate social relationships. Forgiving another for some kind of mistake or transgression has the primary function of keeping social connections that ultimately bind a community together. This is partly why all major religions, which can be seen as important products in the human evolutionary story (see Wilson, 2007), encourage forgiveness in social relations.
Of course, transgressions vary in terms of such features as (a) how much intent is behind them and (b) how severe they are - so forgiveness is more difficult at some times than at others. This said, all things considered, it’s important for us to always consider forgiveness as a prominent tool in our toolbox of social behaviors and strategies when dealing with others. Forgiveness is a basic part of the human story - and it’s played a primary role in allowing imperfect, error-prone creatures like you and me to exist in strong communities for thousands of generations.
Bottom Line
Mistakes will always be made - they are a basic part of the story of life itself. In humans, forgiveness has emerged as a social process that has helped people deal with mistakes made by others in their social worlds. A takeaway message is this: When someone in your life makes a mistake, make sure that you always fully consider forgiveness in the suite of options you have at your social toolkit in regard to how you respond. Remember, you’ve made thousands of mistakes yourself, after all. Further, don't ever forget that without mistakes, none of us would even be here at all.
References
Geher, G. (2014). Evolutionary Psychology 101. New York: Springer.
Gorsuch, R. L. & Hao, J. Y. (1993) Forgiveness: An exploratory factor analysis and its relationship to religious variables, Review of Religious Research, 34, 351-363.
Trivers, R. (1985). Social evolution. Menlo Park, CA: Benjamin/Cummings.
Wilson, D. S. (2007). Evolution for everyone: How Darwin’s theory can change the way we think about our lives. New York, NY: Delacorte Press.