This is what I’d like to ask of clinicians, doctors, and advocates for mental illness in general and bipolar disorder specifically: Please don’t tell me I just have a chemical imbalance. There is a whole lot more going on inside my mind and my relationships and my world than the balance of serotonin or dopamine or norepinephrine.
This past Saturday I went to visit my Aunt. And I got lost. Really lost. For 2 hours. I actually wound up at the US/Canadian border (I kid you not) with my gas tank at empty knowing my Aunt had called the ambulance to take her to emergency. If we want to live our best life we need a good map, a clear destination and some friendly folks to help us along the way.
How do you live comfortably with ambiguity so it doesn’t drive you into a panic attack or analysis paralysis? Make it official (the indecisiveness, not the panic attack). That is: choose to be indecisive.
In football, recovery is measured in weeks or months, not years. This time around, it’s not my knee that’s had to recover, it’s my mind. And it’s taken me years and been far more difficult than making any NFL roster.