Why We Don’t Speak Up!

Being rejected, thrown out, or having my voice suppressed has been one of the top three ‘fight back’ themes in my life. Since fear of rejection is hardwired into all of us I’ve been compelled to study, research, and experiment for three decades looking for a new approach.

Addicted to Being Right!

I’ve found that even the best fighters – the proverbial smartest guys in the room – can break their addiction to being right by getting hooked on oxytocin-inducing behavior instead. Connecting and bonding with others trumps conflict. The more you learn about other peoples’ perspectives, the more likely you are to feel empathy for them.

Tossing the Soap

When you are playing at Level III you are at the top of your game – in fact you expand the game beyond the obvious – stretching your ‘toss’ to reach farther with others – opening the space for better tosses and better adjustments as you co-create for mutual success.

Quality Conversations

“To get to the next level of greatness, depends on the quality of the culture, which depends on the quality of the relationships, which depends on the quality of the conversations. Everything happens through conversations!” - Judith E. Glaser

Transforming Thoughts into Action: Putting C-IQ to Work!

Culture transformation is an advanced leadership skill. The primary way to change a culture is to use your Conversational Intelligence to create an environment that infuses energy and commitment into relationships, teams and the whole organization. Too often we get stuck in habit patterns of “taking about” but not creating change.

Minimize Fear - Maximize Trust

When fear dominates, the primitive brain takes over, releasing cortisol and catecholamines—hormones released during emotional or physical stress. These chemicals shut down the brain’s prefrontal cortex, or executive functions, which enable sophisticated strategies, trust, integrity, and strategic thinking.

Conversational Blind Spots

My goal with all my clients is to help them ask the highest form of questions, which I call discovery questions. These questions open our minds to explore new avenues of thought with each other. They help us enter each other’s worlds, navigate each other’s thoughts and feelings, and open and harvest new insights and wisdom not yet explored by either person.

The DNA of Healthy Conversations

What activates inside of us when we are having conversations? Are they healthy or unhealthy? Research show us that healthy conversations open our brain and heart to appreciate others, while unhealthy conversations close down our brain and heart so we don't connect in healthy ways. What are your conversations activating?

View From the Window

It's hard for us to let go of fear when we’ve been burned in the past...

Conversational Neurochemistry

Chemistry plays a big role in our conversational interactions. When we face criticism, rejection or fear, when we feel marginalized or minimized, our bodies produce higher levels of cortisol, a hormone that shuts down the thinking center of our brains and activates conflict aversion and protection behaviors.

Rejecting, Rejection

Our need to belong becomes so powerful that we’ll give up our voice and beliefs to fit in.

There Is an ‘I’ in ‘We’!

When you hear the words stupid and failed, you have an emotional reaction. Instantly, a switch is turned on in your brain. You feel betrayed. You tune out of the meeting and ruminate. The team thinks you are still there, but in fact, most of you has left the meeting. Your body freezes up. You can't find words to respond.

Minimize Fear – Maximize Trust

Fear is a common but counterproductive response to uncertainty. When fear dominates, the creative brain shuts down. Uncertainty and volatility induce fear, and fear impedes people from feeling good and doing their best work. Our biggest fear is the fear of failure in the eyes of others.

The Flip Side of Success…

Leaders tend to be great talkers because they continually pitch their visions, strategies, products and services. Unfortunately, many leaders discover too late they are failing to connect with and influence others.

The Alchemy of Success

As a 21st century leader, you have the power to transform a moment of fear, into a trajectory of success. Leaders who create safe spaces for conversation and set the context by using candid and caring communication, anchor their teams in the higher brain where trust, integrity, strategic thinking empathy and good judgment live—the time is now, and the choice is yours!

Navigational Listening

Navigational listening is the most powerful tool for influencing others and creating transformation—perhaps, at times, more powerful that speaking.