4 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Two of the most important questions we can ask ourselves in life are "Why?" and "How do we get in our own way of achieving what uniquely matters to us?" Here, I list four of the most common elements that cause people to self-sabotage and keep them from living their dreams.

How to Achieve the Perfect Imperfect Relationship

When we limit our search to that "perfect" someone, we're very likely to give up too easily on finding the perfect imperfect relationship.There are many unexpected choices that could make us happy, but to make a relationship work means being willing to take the plunge with someone and then looking inward. Here are 3 steps to improve any relationship.

Why Doing Good Is Selfish

Year after year, more and more studies are highlighting the benefits of generosity on both our physical and mental health. Not only does generosity reduce stress, support one’s physical health, enhance one’s sense of purpose and naturally fight depression, it is also shown to increase one’s lifespan.

Is There a Cure for Narcissism?

Are today’s youth really a more narcissistic generation? It’s a question parents, educators, researchers and media seem to be strongly affirming. Our obsession with self-evaluation is causing problems. But what conditions lead to both narcissism and low self-esteem? There's a better way to establish our sense of self-worth.

One Surprising Reason We Sabotage Love

While we should be the biggest champions of our own love lives, the reality is we do a lot to get in our own way. True love might stand the test of time, but can it survive us? Learn how the attachment styles we formed as kids could be sabotaging our happiness as adults. How can we learn to relate in healthier, more loving ways?

What Gets in the Way of You Having an Orgasm?

Certain thoughts undermine a person’s ability to orgasm. They take us out of our bodies and in to our heads, one step removed from the physical sensations we may otherwise be experiencing.

Are You Present for Your Children?

The usage of smart phones has overwhelmed the population, with parents barely able to make it through dinner without texting, tweeting or surfing online. In the face of such monumental distraction, we’re forced to ask how this will affect our children.

Change Your Attachment Style to Have a Better Life

The adaptations we make to the interactive relationship between ourselves and our early caretakers impact every area of our lives as adults, from how we parent to how we treat our partner. The particular attachment style we develop strongly colors the lens through which we view the world.However, we are not trapped by or locked into our attachment style.

5 Steps to End Any Fight

Studies show that arguing with your partner could shorten your lifespan. What if there was a technique that could help resolve conflicts in your relationship? Would you try it? Learn a proven method to help your fights lose their nasty, escalating nature and feel happier and closer to your partner.

5 Rules for a More Trustworthy Relationship

A question that often arises in my practice is what constitutes infidelity? When is a flirtation innocent and when does it go too far? How can you draw lines when it comes to your and your partner’s behavior, especially when these lines have become increasingly blurred by a digital age? Here are five rules every person can follow to have a more trustworthy relationship.

The Fantasy That Puts All Relationships at Risk

Studies are now proving that romantic love can withstand the tests of time. If lasting love is an attainable goal, then what’s getting in our way of achieving it? The answer has to do with avoiding the trappings of a fantasy bond.

5 Things to Try Before Giving Up on a Relationship

Achieving long-lasting love isn’t usually easy, even when we meet the right person. However, it’s also not an endlessly laborious undertaking that takes more in struggle than it offers in pleasure. So how do we know when to give up on a relationship, and how do we know when to fight for it?

5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Love

When it comes to love, many of us feel victimized by circumstance, while failing to see that our biggest obstacle is how we get in our own way. In my previous blog, I explored why we do this. Here, I will address what we can do about it. How can we overcome our fears of intimacy to find and maintain the love we so desire?

What the Teenage Brain Can Teach Us About Ourselves

In his new book, Dr. Daniel Siegel unlocks the mysteries of the teenage brain. In this tumultuous stage of development, parents are often left to puzzle over how to relate to their teen. An important first step for changing their relationship with their child is for parents to better understand their own minds.

7 Reasons Most People Are Afraid of Love

Whether we know it or not, most of us are afraid of really being in love. We all harbor defenses that we believe on some level will protect us from getting hurt. So what drives our fears of intimacy? What keeps us from finding and keeping the love we say we want?

A New Year’s Resolution Worth Making

Instead of the annual invitation to feel bad about ourselves, this year, I’ve decided to offer up a challenge. Let’s stop making our resolutions about us. There are many unique benefits of generosity that are not only better for our world but better for our lives.

What it Really Means to Be in Love

While many of us believe we would like to be in love, we face many hurdles in taking the actions that allow love to flow freely throughout our lives and relationships. We have many ways of defending ourselves against love and struggle to give and receive love with ease, openness and vulnerability.

Are We Overpraising Our Children?

While it may seem innocent in the moment, overpraising can have adverse long-term effects on a child. Self-esteem isn’t about telling kids that everything they do is terrific. A real sense of self-worth is based on the skills they build for themselves and the true accomplishments they feel they’ve made.

8 Reasons You Might Still Be Single

For people, particularly those over 30, who are looking for answers to the puzzling question "Why am I still single?" here are some unconventional answers that lie within.

The Rewards of Mindful Parenting

Our kids can set off a wide range of emotions in us. At times of stress, they often trigger unresolved issues from our own childhoods. In those moments, our reactions to them may be inappropriate to the present and are instead, based on the past. By being more mindful, we can pause before reacting, taking time to calm ourselves down.

The Secret to Success: How Can You Become More Hardy?

It turns out that what predicts how well we will do in life, our relationships, careers, etc. isn't how much money we have or even how many obstacles we face; it's a matter of how hardy we are. By learning and enhancing the characteristics of hardiness, we give ourselves a huge leg up in any goal we seek to accomplish in our lives.

Is Something Getting in the Way of Your Sex Life?

Your sexuality can change a lot throughout one lifetime. When people face these challenges, what they'll often find is that talking about sex, while it may feel uncomfortable at first, can be the key to maintaining a healthy sex life and a positive sense of one's own sexuality.

Effective Ways of Treating Depression

Like any affliction, depression requires attention and targeted treatment. Yet, contrary to the hopelessness those suffering often experience, depression should be seen as an eminently treatable disorder.

Six Truths About Depression

While depression can be serious, it is far from hopeless. There are effective treatments and actions people can take to overcome this disorder. There are certain truths about depression that are important to understand, as we target this debilitating disorder that often spans generations.

Why We Lie and How to Stop

Most of us have trouble with the truth. We may not be outright liars, but we certainly shade the truth to make it fit more comfortably into our lives - to keep it from disrupting anything from our careers to our relationships to our afternoons.

The Benefits of Feeling Competitive

Allowing ourselves to feel our competitive feelings cleanly and directly is not only acceptable; it’s actually healthy. When we suppress these feelings, we leave them to fester and impact us in a variety of negative ways.

Suicide Prevention: The Treatment that Works

Researchers have recently discovered that targeting a person’s suicidality directly is precisely what works best to save a life.

How Can You Stop a Suicide?

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States. The first step toward stopping this devastating and preventable public health problem involves taking the topic out of the closet and facing it head on.

Why Break Ups Really Hurt

Why is it that couples who rarely show affection or barely relate feel panicked at the loss of their partner? The overwhelming, emotionally shattering sense of loss that we experience at the end of a relationship is often the result of our having created a "fantasy bond" with our partner.

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship

Our style of attachment affects everything from our partner selection to how well our relationships progress and to, sadly, how they end. That is why recognizing our attachment pattern can help us understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.