Stay Gold, Nic James. Stay Gold.

When I first heard the band Ula Ruth, I was surprised that they weren’t already famous.

Lead singer and guitarist Nic James has ’90s-boy-band good looks and a distinctive voice. The band has infectious catchy radio-ready songs such as “Strung Out” and “Nobody Lives Forever.” And they seem to be on people’s radar, with coverage in Rolling Stone and Nylon Guys.

In light of these conventional positives, it was quite a pleasant surprise when I discovered that Nic is a weirdo – and I mean that as a huge compliment. He has an unusual and unique creative process that stems from his consistent attempt to view the world empathically from the perspective of others, rather than simply expressing what he himself sees. And while Ula Ruth is becoming more prominent, James describes how they are already being put into a box that does not feel comfortable for them.

So, just like Johnny (Ralph Macchio) told Ponyboy (C. Thomas Howell) to “stay gold” in the 1983 film “The Outsiders” and not lose his innocence and optimistic perspective on the world, I hope James continues this creative approach and stays weird.

Because it might do us all some good to think about how others see the world.

Perspective-taking is the extent to which individuals can look at the world through another person’s viewpoint. This is considered a critical skill in developing empathy, or the ability to understand what someone else is feeling. Empathy is considered to be crucial to human interactions, including friends and romantic relationships, professional colleagues and others.

As an example, one longitudinal study of more than 100 couples found that higher levels of empathy predict better marriage quality, in part because empathic people are more likely to be forgiving.

James employs perspective-taking as a central part of his songwriting process. “I think everybody has a character that they write about,” he told me. “I actually write from the perspective of a young girl looking out ... like on a subway looking around. And trying to get into the mindset of what she’s thinking when she sees things. It’s very strange.”

James explained his choice. “I think it’s the idea of true innocence. It’s the perspective of someone so innocent and outside of some of the really tough issues. I don’t want to make it sound like it’s so heavy,” he said. “I think young boys are innocent, but I think that there’s something truly innocent and almost like heart-wrenching about imagining some of the hardships that people go through and having it from a young girl’s perspective.”

He explained the different ways he employs this “character.”

“I write from this perspective, of this young girl who had her heart broken…I have this lens. It’s sort of like the relationship between a daughter and her father. Or the lens is like the relationship of a young girl and the person who broke her heart or something that she’s struggling with,” James said.

“It’s almost like an unfairness. It’s almost like a character that I imagine that’s so specific but it’s no one that I’ve ever known in my life - it’s just this made-up person — almost like something from a little girl from the secret garden the way that I visualize it,” he said. “Locked away in the tower, not shown a lot of love, and she’s struggling with trying to figure out where she’s going. I think anyone, no matter how hardened you are … that character brings an emotion.”

The band’s influences are varied, but many arise from the punk and post-punk era like Joy Division, Television , Peter Gabriel and David Byrne. James also feels a strong connection to the music of The Smiths: “That band to me is really something that I connect with because of it’s moodiness - it’s sort of like Morrisey’s displeasure with the way the world works. And I think that for me as a writer… as much as I would love to be able to go out and write this super positive song. I think I like to present issues or things that people can relate to that I’m particularly not happy with in a more palatable way - where it’s not depressing. It’s just sort of melancholy.”

The punk influence in James’ music is evident in the explicit goal of confronting people with perspectives that they may not seek out on their own. “I think that people have a scope and they can only see so much. We never are able to walk in other people’s shoes,” he said. “Sometimes, it’s very interesting to kind of force it on people by bringing out those emotions where they would come face to face with a character. I think that the word ‘empathy’ is a big aspect of it because there are things that just stick with me that maybe wouldn’t bother other people.”

Part of the reason why James may be inclined to take different perspectives and confront others with these perspectives is that he himself grew up being confronted with several different religious perspectives in his family, including Mormon, Baptist, Jehovah’s Witness, Pentecostal and atheist. James described, “And so I have all these conflicting religions, all on one side of the family. But it never impeded people like getting along. And it's wild to see, like, growing up in my household. There was never going to be no God.”

“Like Bono says, ‘Everyone's either running away or to God. That's how it was.”

James feels that religious themes are common in music. “In every band, in every group — talk about the Kings of Leon, the Killers, Coldplay, U2 — here's always the question of God and the Devil.”

James sees how self-reflection and meditation can be a benefit of the religious or spiritual approach. “Whether you believe in any higher being or not, there's always a point where there has to be a purpose in life and you have to ask yourself, ‘What is the purpose?’ I feel like I have more of the ‘higher power’ within myself to make decisions and at that moment to say, ‘I know why I’m here.’”

Research demonstrates the benefits of religion and spirituality. One study of 142 patients found that individuals with stronger religious beliefs had fewer subsequent complications and shorter hospital stays. A 10-year study of 114 adults found that those who considered religion or spirituality more important to them were significantly less likely to be depressed over time.

Furthermore, evidence suggests higher sense of purpose is associated with health and well-being. One study followed more than 6,000 people over the course of 14 years, with more than 500 dying during the course of the study. Those who died were less likely to have a sense of purpose. Still other studies have shown that increased sense of purpose is associated with lower risk for Alzheimer’s disease and lower use of costly hospital services among older people.

Perhaps it’s not surprising that James writes from an empathic perspective, considering that the band was named after James’ grandmother. “My grandmother was almost married to a man down south. But because my grandmother came from the wrong side of the tracks and he was a very wealthy guy, his family basically said, ‘You can’t marry this woman, and if you do, we’ll cut you off.’ So basically right before getting married, they ended it.”

Shortly after her break-up, James’ grandmother decided to pursue music. “And at the tip of a hat, she decided when nothing was really going her way down there that she was going to come up to New York and tackle her dream to become a singer and just change her life around. When she moved up here, her manager said we have to change your image,” he said. “Specifically, what he wanted to do was make her seem like she was a New York jazz singer star, almost born and raised here. More glitz and more glam, basically leaving behind anything southern. And she was Southern Baptist — all the things that they didn’t want up here.”

Things worked out initially but James’s grandmother eventually gave up on her dream. “Early on she had a very successful career. She did USO and she actually told us as kids that she was on a boat singing with other USO girls and believed that one of the girls was Marilyn Monroe - at the time she was still Norma Jean,” he said. “And she met my grandfather and did not continue on that career and completely went a different path and chose to have a family.”

James described his empathic connection with his grandmother’s story. “When my mom tells me this story, I feel two things. I feel sad that she left that behind. I’ve heard her records. She was unbelievable. And this whole career that she had, she gave up on a dime for my grandfather and to have a family,” he said. “She was worried of going down the same path that somebody like a Marilyn Monroe went down, and all these other USO girls who really were not valued as this talent, but more were managed as long as they could be, and then they found the next one, and the next one, and the next one.”

His grandmother’s story resonates with James in part because he feels that members of Ula Ruth have come up against the same issue early on in their career. “I felt like, as a band starting up, we were kind of the underdogs. I wanted to name the band after her because … we were going to struggle and strive to make our own luck and not play the game.”

“We believe in going this other path, like everyone’s swimming one way, upstream, and we’re swimming completely the opposite.”

But James feels that Ula Ruth was stereotyped quickly. Research suggests that even in its most benign form, stereotypes appear to be damaging. For example, the stereotype that “girls are not good at math” may represent a stereotype threat that can undermine academic performance.

“We started to feel that, like, people were putting us into this box, of being this, like, ’90s rock revival band. And we didn’t really understand that. This really made us uncomfortable, and we don’t want to do this thing anymore. We were feeling like we sounded like other bands. We weren’t expressing what we really believed in. So we changed things up.”

“There’s a certain darkness to our music right now that feels absolutely truthful.”

James went on to say that even though it is uncomfortable, “I think that the question is of really sticking to what you believe in. How do you do that? We see politicians and people in the eye of fame and people getting hired to good jobs. We see all-around-successful people absolutely letting go of the one thing that brought them there.”

He described this sentiment in the band’s new song “Misery.”

“‘Misery’ was a time in my life when I was very, very lost. And I think the one thing that we are really afraid of being is a band just for the sake of being a band and not being interesting,” he said. “During that time period, I started to feel this presence — like a black cloud that just followed me everywhere I went and it was a very visual, basically. And then the cloud took on the character of almost like a person. And I felt like it was someone that I had wronged, almost like bad karma, that wouldn't leave me alone and I couldn't get out of the situation.”

Interestingly, James’ perspective changed, and the shift came out in the song. “As we were getting closer and closer to recording this song, I started to feel very different, more positive that the record was going to end and really happy with all the music,” he said. “So I changed a lot of the lyrics near the end to reflect this battle between the character and this black-cloud creature that was always lurking. So, by the end of the song, the main character just doesn't care and keeps pushing through and gets out. And that's a big theme on the whole record.”

James felt that the choice of locations – a Victorian house where James said bands such as The National and Interpol recorded – influenced the record. “I remember when we were recording the track, I felt, and it's so ridiculous to say, almost like this presence in the house when we were recording – it was very eerie,” he said. “And I think that when I listen back to the track now, it's hard to really tap into it and explain it entirely. It felt like such a relief when it finished because ... I felt physically drained at the end of it.”

Ultimately, James is optimistic that he and Ula Ruth can maintain their creativity and integrity and still achieve popular success. “People go, ‘Oh, they sold out.’ And I don't even know what that even means for certain bands. I don't think people even understood the band to begin with, because I can tell you right now we don't want to stop at Bowery Ballroom,” he explained.

“We want to play Madison Square Garden, like, tomorrow if we could.”

So here’s to hoping James and Ula Ruth stays as weird as they can on their march to success.

Stay gold, Nic James. Stay gold.

Listen to “Misery” here.

Michael Friedman, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in Manhattan and a member of EHE International’s Medical Advisory Board. Follow Dr. Friedman onTwitter @DrMikeFriedman and EHE @EHEintl.