Recently during a big apartment move, I re-discovered an old beloved Aristotle book, and started flipping through. I was surprised to see much of what Aristotle had to say about love hit home bigtime -- in particular about a sexy, smart, funny, rich, lying, cheating don't-get-me-started "Prince Harming" ex-boyfriend ( I call this type of person) (...and yes, guys, there are Princess Harmings too!)

I could almost hear what Aristotle might say to me about this bad relationship -- if he and I were to chat over Souvlaki.

"Mea bene, Karen," Aristotle would say. "You know what your problem was with your ex? He was not your soulmate - but your 'sould' mate -- because you sold your soul to be with him. Sure he was sexy, smart, rich, funny -- but alas, he was a no-good asshole."

"Wow," I'd say. "I can't believe you just said that word!"

"What? Asshole?" Aristotle would say with a smile. "Hey, I'm from Greece, so alas I'm no prude."

"Actually, I meant the word 'soulmate'!" I'd correct. "You're an intellectual guy - the regaled philosopher who was called The Mind of The Academy by Plato. I'm surprised you believe in something as namby-pamby metaphysical as a soulmate!"

"Absolutely!" my fave Greek philosopher buddy Ari would respond emphatically. "Actually, I sort of coined the concept of 'soulmate.' If there'd been a little 'TM' trademark thingie back in the 300's BC, I'd be a very rich man today.  I firmly believe caretaking the soul is incredibly important for happiness. I describe a soulmate as a 'soul-nurturing mate' - someone who nurtures your soul -- thereby promoting insight and growth.  I pushed folks to find soulmates -- because in my opinion, real happiness only comes when you stimulate your soul -- your core self -- and grow into your highest potential"

Basically the soul is the ultimate g-spot for happiness!

Of course I'm paraphrasing. But if Aristotle were here, I know he'd agree with my verbal modernization of his timeless truths.  Plus, Ari would go on to describe how he views the world as offering ...


1. Firstly, there are RELATIONSHIPS OF PLEASURE. These are partners who are all about sex, drugs and rock and roll. You might share soul-less passionate sex and soul-less playful banter  - but they're all about pleasures of the body or ego. They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth - so never bring you real-deal happiness.  Hence, these partners are souldmates (Prince/Princess Harmings) -- not soulmates (Prince/Princess Charmings).

2. Next up, there are RELATIONSHIPS OF UTILITY-- a partner you spend time with in hopes of garnering greater wealth, status, fame,  or beauty -- like the rich guy with the trophy gal. These partners also don't nurture your soul -- only your ego.  Again, these are souldmates (Prince/Princess Harmings)  -- not soulmates (Prince/Princess Charmings).

3. Finally there are RELATIONSHIPS OF SHARED VIRTUE. These are partners who stimulate you, challenge you, inspire you, root for you to grow into your highest potential -- who nurture your soul. A good example is Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good As It Gets" who says: "You make me want to be a better man." 

When you prioritize seeking a partner who supports your becoming your favorite, best self -- instead of just crushing on someone's superficial sexy looks, charisma and wealthiness -- you wind up with a happy love relationship!

Curious how many of you out there agree with Aristotle's love tips - and which kind of relationship you're presently in! Please share your thoughts and stories below!

Karen Salmansohn is a best selling author with over 1 million books sold. For more happiness and love tips visit or tweet me at @notsalmon or friend me on Facebook under my name!

About the Author

Karen Salmansohn

Karen Salmansohn is an author and contributor to She also writes a popular business column for amNY newspaper called "The 1 Minute Career Therapist."

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