When couples initially find out that they are pregnant, they experience a host of emotions. They may feel elated, scared, ambivalent, shocked, grateful, or anxious to name a few. After making a doctor’s appointment and throwing out the thermometer; the next step is often deciding when to announce your pregnancy. The internet is full of vague articles saying it’s the couple’s choice and many people wait until the second trimester. Although both statements are true, we thought this topic needed a little more exploring. There is no right or wrong answer. However, there are some factors including and beyond miscarriage risk you should consider.
The highest rate of miscarriage is in the first trimester. This risk is significantly reduced as you move into the second trimester which officially starts at week 13. Many couples, if they experience a miscarriage would prefer to cope privately or with the support of a few close relatives and friends. Others want their entire Facebook community involved. How you have coped with other losses in your life can help guide this decision. One of the major advantages of having children later in life is that you have more experience and, hopefully, a better sense of yourself and your needs than the younger version of you. If you opt to keep the pregnancy private and then experience a miscarriage, you can always tell supportive friends and family after the fact. They should be no less sympathetic because they were unaware of the pregnancy to begin with. If they are, then it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
I venture that a more important factor to consider in timing your announcement is the great emotional adjustment pregnancy demands. Discovering that you are growing another human being and are ultimately tied to that human being for the rest of your life is a cosmic shift that can shake even the sturdiest, most self actualized of souls. To date, I have not met one woman who would disagree with this. The immensity of changes that your body, heart, and life will undergo can feel overwhelming to some. This is exactly why you may want to wait to announce your pregnancy. You need to find a way to adjust to all of the emotions and bodily sensations you are feeling. At the very least, you need to learn how to present yourself to others in an appropriate way. There is no timeline on this. Some women can do it at 6 weeks; others may be at 20 weeks.
Some pregtiquette to consider:
What do you think? Are there other factors to consider?