Developing Patience and Compassion after Loss

Perhaps one reason we don't heal from loss is that we focus too much on trying to accept the absence of our loved ones rather than working to reinforce the connection to those qualities that were most near and dear to us.

A Letter to Lea

An open letter to Lea Michele and all those who mourn the sudden loss of a loved one. It is possible for the worst thing that ever happened to you to become the most important. And it will do so if you can relax into the compassionately mysterious work of grief.

Holding On and Letting Go

Even difficult memories can be valuable if we use them as a springboard for personal growth and insight. If they lead us to greater compassion, the experience was not in vain.

Elder Grief 4: Considering "Ohio"

Perhaps we, as a society, need to stop fearing death. To embrace it as being a natural step into another realm. To stop seeing mortality as a failure of medicine to succeed. And to stop using medicine as a panacea for our fear of the unknown.

The Challenge of Unofficial Loss

Where it gets difficult to find support is when the change you are experiencing is what I call “unofficial loss.”

Finding the Gift in "Farewell"

The psychological rewards for self-reliance are enormous and we can only bestow them on ourselves.

Keeping Grief in Perspective

Today I would like to suggest that each of us take a step back from sorrow and loss to review the golden nuggets of awareness that may lie unnoticed in the ruins.

Elder Grief 3: How to Move Your Loved One into Assisted Living

Are you faced with moving a loved one into assisted living? Here are five recommendations from a caregiver/advocate who has been through the challenges and survived to share her wisdom.

Elder Grief, Part 2: Managing Care Provider Hand-Offs

A caregiver/advocate must understand that he or she may be the only person who is watching the entire treatment process and who continues to see their loved one as a human being rather than as a collection of symptoms or body parts that aren't working properly.

Elder Grief: The Hidden Burden of Advanced Age

Recent experiences with the declining health of my 93-year-old mother cause me to consider that perhaps even worse than dying young is living to be very old, with little quality of life due to several serious ailments, but not being sick enough to leave this world.

Is It Really Denial?

Over the past several days I have had occasion to speak to two individuals about the concept of denial. Which got me to thinking about how loosely the term is used and how careful we need to be in ascribing the behavior to someone else.

More Than a Feeling

Through the deaths of two husbands and a daughter, I have learned that 'Grief' is not just a feeling, but a skill. And though death seems an inconvenient time to practice, it is a time to begin to gracefully embrace something that we all share in common.

Risking Recovery from Grief

As with any experience that propels us into a luminous awareness of life's deepest mysteries, we must eventually step back from the brink, integrate what we have learned at the cliff edge, and get back to our work in the world—that can seem so very dull in comparison.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Grief

For at least three years after my husband's death, grief was my one true guide and the guardian of my process for moving forward in life. Thank goodness grief knew where it was taking me, because I didn't have a clue.

The Mystery of Letting Go

In order for holding not to be grasping we must also hold a conversation with the Unknown that begins with what we think we know and journeys into the misty realms of the present and future that do not readily identify themselves.

What to Do About Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day weekend—which always brings up for widowed persons the question of loving again after loss. Clearly, this is a matter I have avoided because, in surveying my present circumstance, I realize that I have replaced my husband with Apple products, not with a sentient being.

Maintaining the Thread of Contact

He was fascinated by life after death and eagerly worked to prepare himself for the journey. It's almost as if he saw himself parachuting into a new world. He wanted to hit the ground running and immediately begin to explore his new surroundings.

Overcoming Blocks to Healing Grief

The grief process is like nature's secret weapon because in our helplessness we become malleable. It's the giving up part that is most important.

Life Is Good: A Holiday Message from Loki & Leela

We are meant to eventually come back out into the sunshine of life. And I can say with confidence that really "working your grief" and allowing it to work on you is one very powerful way through to the other side of sorrow.

Coping with Grief at the Holidays

If we can drill into the essence of what makes a good holiday, are there activities or behaviors that we can incorporate, even if we've been hit with a grief scenario that naturally makes us contract?

What Does It Mean to Be Grateful?

In order to fully experience the joy and love of pleasant gratitude, we must be willing to also breathe in the heartache that Life may send us.

How Much Love Have You Let in Today?

I think one reason we may be literally starving in the very presence of a universal love banquet is that we are picky eaters.

Finding Beauty in Grief

The grief journey is a bit like walking the alleyways of life. It's a solo trip because we are the ones who must do the work of reframing what has been lost. If a ray of sunshine flickers in our alley, we have to find it ourselves.

What Is the Meaning of Meaning?

If life has ongoing purpose, does it mean that we have something to look forward to? That we haven't already experienced "as good as it gets?" And what does that mean?

Singing While It Is Still Dark

Faith is a bird that feels the dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark.

The Art of Letting Go, Part 3

"I'll be looking at the stars, but I'll be seeing you." That's the art of letting go.

The Art of Letting Go, Part 2

If we learn anything from Steve Jobs, I hope it will be to live well, love well, and then to eventually let go well—even of life itself.

The Art of Letting Go, Part 1

One of my great joys this past year has been allowing grief to unfold naturally. The comfort comes from letting go, not in prematurely forcing something to go away because society's rule said that I should.

Creating Conditions for Connecting with the Other Side

The alpha female wolf approached, looked my friend in the eye, and lay down at her feet. The wolf had chosen the quiet one, not the one who hungered after connection.

Offering Comfort to Those Just Beginning the Journey with Grief

Had he been with me all the time but I wasn't letting him through? Just like the move "Ghost," but this story is true.