Clear-Weather Friends

Fair-weather friends abandon you when you're down. Clear-weather friends abandon you when you want to get down into problems with the friendship.

A Different Approach to Political Divisiveness

Confusing ourselves to diffuse our political tensions.

Fear of Inadequacy and What to Do About It

More than we notice, we're driven by fear of inadequacy. Here's the way to manage it.

That Other Kind of Time Management

More than we notice, we'd like to stop time, to live forever or at least to have our eternal truths live forever.

The Highest Priority Common Core

We all need to learn how to practice evenhanded rhetoric and critical thinking, to be able, like a trial lawyer, to make a persuasive case for or against any argument.

Random Acts of Kindness Can Be Dangerous

To maximize your capacity for empathy and compassion, don't automatically move toward charity.

Popular Sociopathways

Some of us act like life is war, no room for negotiation, as if we won't survive unless we compete as aggressively as possible. How do we get like this? And could it happen to you?

Debate Like It's 2028

Debates aren't won in the present but the future when outcomes are revealed. Here's a quick tip on how to shift a debate's focus to the future and what really counts.

Thinking About Good Soldiers Who Died for Bad Causes

Good soldiers have died for horrible causes. It is our moral duty today to reflect on how that ends up happening.

OK No Cupid?

Do you dread the possibility that you'll end up single even as, with age, the odds increase that you will? If so, something has to change. Perhaps your attitude about singleness.

Touchy Toughies

Everyone needs a way to say "nope, I'm not going to listen." Here we explore two main "noping strategies" with an emphasis on how the rugged type do it.

PC: That Powerful Term That No One Bothers To Define

Accusing someone of being PC has become just another way of saying, "The problem is you, not me. I'm not insensitive; you're hypersensitive." Here's a better definition.

How to Not Be Fooled by Jerks. Or Become One

New studies suggest that gullibility can be gauged by one's respect for nonsense that's all dressed up. Here are four tools for undressing it.

When You Fall, How Do You Rise Again?

When our glass drains to half-full we try to refill it with something more reliable. When that fails it's best to get an adjustable-height glass.

How to Win Friends, Influence and Wisdom All at Once

Simple games that make us more likable, persuasive and wise

The PC Wars: Shutupsmanship Reaches New Heights

Political correctness is a new folk psychology diagnosis, one that is having enormous influence even though it's hard to define. Here's an attempt to define it accurately.

To Each Their Own

Are you uncaring? Maybe you're just other-caring. We need a new prefix, "other-". The anti-PC police aren't going to like it, but to each their own.

This Simple Insight Will Take a Load Off Your Mind

You'll be a lot smarter, happier and more bully-proof when you divorce the popular moral nonsense that makes an absolute virtue out of only-sometimes-useful tactics.

The Two Ways We Shop For Psychological Insights

Psychological therapy and psychological science have different goals. It's useful to be clear on the difference.

Is “You Can’t Change People” True?

"You can't change people" is self-contradictory, like saying "let me persuade you that people can't be persuaded." Like all self-contradictions it's good food for thought.

The Truth About Lying Politicians

Yes they lie, but we all do. The question isn't whether to lie but when? When does it help and when does it hurt? Not as easy to answer as we'd like to think.

There Are Two Kinds Of People

Remembering that you're fallible even in the middle of a fight.

Narcissism Isn’t One Thing But Many

If you think that you’re dealing with a narcissist, don’t stop there because the devil is in the detail – what kind of narcissism if it’s narcissism at all.

A Simple Trick for Getting What You Really Want

Spinplex: Spin piled high, like saying that something is great because it's tremendous, huge and great. Learn to spin and unspin these spinplexes and you'll be happier long-term.

Doing Well Vs. Doing Right

Love is not the answer. Toughness is not the answer. Tough love is not the answer. Tough love is the question.

How To Tell If Someone Is Being Unreasonable

Unreasonable: Unwilling or unable to explain our opinions.

The Key to Calmfident Self-Assertion

There's nothing more unenlightened than attacking the ignorant, nor more ignorant than trying to enlighten the con artist. Here's how to avoid both errors when speaking your mind.

Grouch Potatoes

A Grouch Potato is anyone who assumes that if there's a problem it must be you.

How to Fantasize: Sex, Religion, Politics

Blaming politicians for lying is like watching a few hours of porn and, while cleaning up after yourself, cursing the porn stars for pretending they’re in love.

Evolution: The Sad End Of "Happily Ever After"

We all dream of panaceas, or ways to win permanently. The harshest truth from evolutionary theory is that we never do.

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