A Really Big Question Part I

Buddies kick the tires on a popular explanation for life: that life energy, vital force, spirit or soul enters matter and makes it come alive. They come away curious.

“Why Do We Keep Fighting?!”

Meta-conflict – conflict about why you're having conflicts, is common to all disagreements and the source of a lot of the agitation. Here's how to map meta-conflict.

The Biggest Psychological Mystery We Ignore

All of the biggest philosophical, theological, biological, psychological and sociological questions boiled down to one that most of us haven't heard nor thought about.

The Psychological Roots of Our Current Hypocrisy Epidemic

We find it hard anxious work to seek the wisdom to know the difference between what to constrain and what to set free. Hypocrisy is the easy alternative to that hard work.

Self-Deification!

Self-deification is all the rage these days! Climb on the bandwagon! There's room for you and you don't need to know anything to do it!

A Life-Pivoting Change of Identity

Hunger for pride can become dangerously addictive. Abandoning pride and being proud no matter what, don't solve it. Instead, change what you're proud of.

Everyday Gaslighting

Gaslighting–causing someone to question their own sanity isn't just for con-artists. People who act inconsistently but deny it will project their inconsistency on any challengers.

15 Tips for Disappointing the Know-It-Alls in Your Life

What's wrong with some people and what can we do about it? This is the question of the century. Here are 15 tips for answering it in both personal and public life.

Uncommon Tips for Demonstrating that You're a Good Listener

Listening isn't just a matter of opening our ears. Our ears are clogged with fear of losing status. But we gain more status by overcoming that fear.

Impressive Compulsive Disorder

At the extreme, there's the pathological climber, the power-hoarder who doesn't care if winning the game destroys the game board. Trump is one.

A Process Junkie's Guide to Putting a Lid on It

If you're psychologically curious, you may tend to invite more process talk than is useful or healthy. Here are some ways to be available for processing without encouraging it.

Fearsness: Channeling Fear Into Fierceness

When anxious men tend to feign toughness and women tend to feign reasonableness. Here we look at the cost of these tendencies both in our personal and political lives.

The Laws of Unintended Consequences

Pay attention to unintended consequences and how they happen. If you do, you'll minimize the bad ones and you'll be more compassionate with yourself about those you can't escape.

Freedom of Dissociation

The freedom that many of us crave is the freedom from having to learn from our mistakes, indeed from facing inconvenient truths at all.

"I'm Right and You're Wrong About Everything"

Infallibility battles: The absurd battles that can make any of us act like know-it-alls, right about everything having proven our opponent wrong about everything.

People Who Will Say Anything to Win an Argument

You suspect that they'll say anything to win, but how can you tell for sure? You can't, but you can make good educated guesses.

A Better Term Than Extremism

"Radical" and "extremist" are vague and relative terms. The better term is absolutist and it applies to any and all beliefs.

The BS Reducing Diet

Admit it, we all binge on BS, even though it can make us fatheads. Then go on a sustainable diet to reduce your intake for your own sake. Here are six times for BS dieting.

Bully Bingo

56 tricks adult bullies use (all variations on "I know you are but what am I?"). If you're dealing with someone who uses a lot of them, then Bingo! you're dealing with a bully.

The Art of High-Stakes Psychological Diagnosis Pt. 2

When diagnosing or name-calling, call out the behavior and speculate carefully about the possible motivations for it or you'll get mired in debate over the motivations.

The Art of High-Stakes Psychological Diagnosis Pt 1

Don't let your gut impulses decide how you diagnose people's problems. It will only make the problems worse. Be careful, patient, expansive and strategic instead.

A Holiday Game For Talking Politics

Here's the first draft of a game designed to be challenging, honest, respectful, and fair that anyone serious about their moral principles should be happy to play.

Taking and Giving Offense for the Fun of It

Taking and giving offense is sometimes necessary and sometimes just a way of alleviating self-doubt. We should keep this distinction in mind.

Why Trump Won and What Psychology Says We Can Do About It

Drop the moral outrage. It's not working. They're not doing politics or morality, they're pretending to be infallible and invincible, and it's working – for now. Try this instead.

"It's the Psychology, Stupid!"

Trump pretended to be invincible. He never lost a face-to-face interaction. Invincibility sells. Maybe that more than anything else won him the election.

Writing on the Wall or Red Herring?

We're all making educated guesses about what will and won't make a positively or negatively significant difference. No one knows for certain because no one can. Life is uncertain.

The Gloataholics’ Binge Continues

Winaholics are people so addicted to feeling right and righteous that they'll turn everything upside down to feel that way.

What Kind of Categorizer Are You?

Some people act as though distinctions are obvious. Others explore for how to make them as distinct as possible.

The “Lesser of Two Evils” Fallacy

If you treat all disappointing choices as choosing the lesser of "evils" you're likely to end up with real evil.

Is It a Circumstantial Setback or a Conspiracy Against You?

Sometimes they're out to get you, sometimes it just hard circumstances. We do better when we attend to the difference.

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