Thanksgiving is like the music paused in a game of musical chairs, everybody dropping into the laps they have accumulated over the year and years. Some years the laps are more ample than others, glorious family reunions, partners, kids. Other years are sparser leaving us wondering whether there are laps enough left for us or are we losing the musical chairs game.

A Thanksgiving toast then to the coming and going of laps. I've had extraordinary bounty, more than my share, and some fallow years too. They all come back to me with the light, smells and anticipation of the season.


When our glass becomes less full, we have a choice to try to refill it with what we had in there, to try to fill it with something else, or to try accept it as full enough, say by conceiving of the glass as shorter than it was.

Trying to refill it with what we had means holding what we had as a reason we should still have it. “Because I had it before I should have it now.”

Trying to refill it with something else means holding out for the same standards but accepting that we can't have what we had. "Because I had it before, I must have something else now.

Accepting it as half full means holding what we had before as a reason not to expect the same now. “Because I had it before, I don’t need it now.”

Lifelong, when we experience setbacks we choose among these three options. There are purist philosophies that say always hold out for what you want and others that say always let go and accept what you get. I say it’s best to wonder when to hold on and when to let go and if letting go, of what, the thing you lost or the standard you had. 

In the long run we eventually have to let go. I look at very old people and know that what contentment they have comes from lowering expectations as options dwindle. At best, by the end the glass has to be stubby enough that it feels full even though it’s mostly drained.

Depressing thoughts but since I’m not there yet, I’m thankful and here’s my song to prove it.

Downhill From Here 

Sure your things are sagging

You can see you're in declin. 

A glimpse into the mirror shows

The ravages of time

Just remember that compared to now

the future's looking sour

And looking back in decades

this will have been the finer hour.

At the rate that things are going

yes our future looks austere

Cheer up ‘cause it's downhill from here.

If you notice your ability

To jump and skip is slipping

And much of your agility

Is going, don't be trippin'

Compared to 20 years from now

You're agile and you're well

And viewed from future wheelchairs

Today you're a gazelle.

At the rate that things are going

Yes, our future looks austere

Cheer up ‘cause it's downhill from here.

I'm a forward thinking pessimist

It makes my days much brighter

Tomorrow will be heavier 

today is therefore lighter

Life's decline is certain

Of what's left this time's the best

Enjoy it now it's bound to be

better than the rest

If the crowd is suffocating you

in the rat race to success

and your edge is always slipping

and you cannot take the stress

Just remember that the pile of product's

only getting deeper

And your grandkid's competition

will certainly be steeper.

At the rate that things are going

yes our futures looks austere

Cheer up ‘cause it's downhill from here.

Most Recent Posts from Ambigamy


10 Tips For Weeding Your Garden of Commitments

Yintimidation: Bullying The "Nice" Way

How people dominate without seeming domineering

You Are Not Your Body

A physical explanation of souls.