This is part two in a three-part series on tidying up our inner world: our beliefs, practices, and personal habits. [Click here to read part one.]
I call it: spring cleaning for our lives!
Today’s spring cleaning checklist is for couples.
Whether you’re in a new-ish relationship, or in a long-time, committed partnership, this checklist can add a little more sparkle and sweet connection to your relationship.
PART TWO: CHECKLIST FOR COUPLES
Goals and life direction.
[ ] Spend some time talking openly about your goals and life direction. Take turns answering questions like, “Where do you see yourself in one year? Five years? Ten?” and “What are your most important priorities and goals right now? How can I support you?” and “Do you have any fears right now? Like what?” Listen as the other person is speaking. Try to avoid assuming that you “already know” everything about your partner.
(You might be surprised!)
Sex and intimacy.
[ ] Designate a special day on your calendar to be a “no sex” day. On this day, you are not allowed to have sex until a specific time (say, 9pm). Use this day to tease, flirt, send saucy text messages, kiss, hug, and build up anticipation and excitement, just like back when you first met!
[ ] Experiment with a “fifteen second kiss.” The moment you (or your partner) walks through the door after being away, lock lips for fifteen seconds. (Many couples say this daily ritual helps to create a feeling of deep connection after being apart all day long.)
[ ] Try a 30-day intimacy challenge. Engage in some kind of physical touch — massage, kissing, sex — every day for 30 days in a row. Feeling bold? Try 365 days — a whole year!
[ ] If you’re harboring a grudge against your partner, give yourself permission to forgive. Unload the heavy weight of resentment so that you can feel light and free. Know that this is a gift to yourself and to others.
This is often the hardest action to take. It’s also one of the most beneficial for your own personal emotional wellbeing — and for the health and strength of your relationship. If you’re struggling to forgive, or don’t see how it is possible, this guidebook can help.
[ ] As the very wise RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how you gonna love somebody else?” Choose a self-care practice that you love — maybe one you haven’t been doing much, lately — and recommit to it with your whole heart.
Whether it’s getting a massage, doing your daily workout or yoga routine, or having a solo date once a week to walk quietly or see a type of film that you love (but your partner doesn’t), give yourself some TLC!
Every time you do, you’re also giving a gift to your partner: the gift the gift of a calm, present partner who is ready to give and receive love.
RESOURCES FOR COUPLES:
— The Love Tune-Up.
A self-guided e-course. Start anytime. Learn how to tune-up and upgrade the quality of your relationships… especially your relationship with yourself. True love starts with you!
— The Life Guide On How To Forgive The One Who Hurt You Most Of All.
I hope this spring cleaning checklist leads to a lot of loving, sexy, connected experiences with your sweetheart!
Next up: a spring cleaning checklist for your career!
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Suzanne Gelb, PhD, JD, is a clinical psychologist, life coach, and author (link is external). She believes that it is never too late to become the person you want to be: Strong. Confident. Calm. Creative. Free of all of the burdens that have held you back—no matter what has happened in the past.
Her insights on personal growth have been featured on more than 200 radio programs, 250 TV interviews and on Time, Forbes, Newsweek, The Huffington Post, NBC's Today, The Daily Love, Positively Positive, and much more.
To learn more, step into her virtual office at DrSuzanneGelb.com.
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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always contact your qualified health provider before implementing or modifying any personal growth or wellness program or technique, and with any questions about your well-being.
Copyright © 2016 Dr. Suzanne Gelb, All rights reserved.