Today's (May 31) "Maid Molestor" news: A former chairman of one of Egypt's major banks was arrested on charges of sexually abusing a maid at a Manhattan hotel. Mahmoud Abdel-Salam Omar, the former chief of Egypt's Bank of Alexandria, was arrested in New York City Monday night for sexually assaulting a hotel maid. Omar, 74, was staying at the Pierre hotel on 5th Avenue when he allegedly groped, kissed, and "gyrated" against the woman Sunday night.
Coming so soon after the head of the IFC -- and the leading contender for the French presidency -- was arrested on similar charges, we may wonder if this is typical behavior for grizzled old rich men.
Yes. It turns out that international financeers love coming to New York for one reason, and one reason only. No, not the Empire State Building. No, not the opera. No, not the Yankees.
They come here to sexually assault maids. That's right. New York hotels are known for employing impoverished women from overseas with limited English language skills who can be attacked, molested, and raped at will.
Just ask Monsieur Risque de la Coeur, who recently ordered room service at the Plume de la Plaza Hotel in downtown Manhattan.
"Hello, front desk? This is Monsieur de la Coeur. Room 7018. I just arrived. Could you please send up a maid -- you know, one with a duster wearing a short skirt? No underwear preferably.
"No, my room isn't dirty yet -- my mind is (heh, heh, heh).
"Oh, do you have one of those deaf-mutes, preferably with big boobs?
"Thanks. I'll just wait here with my penis exposed until she arrives."
"Hi - welcome in. You don't understand a word I say, right? Oh, I see you've noticed my exposed penis. Could you dust it please?
"Wait, why are you backing away? Do you know how much I'm paying for this room?"
(Grabs woman's arm.)
"You come here when I say so. What, do you consider yourself a full human being like me? I have male sexual urges. I am rich. People admire me around the world. When I snap my fingers, people jump. I know world leaders. And believe you me -- they think exacty the same way that I do. I'm great friends with Silvio Berlusconi -- the aged Italian Prime Minister who parties with teen strippers? (Editor's note: Berlusconi is currently on trial in Italy on charges that he paid for sex with an underage Moroccan teenager.)
"Don't you resist me, now. You're poor -- you need to do what I say. I'll get you fired, you know.
"Oh, you think things are better here in the United States, now that you've left Africa or South America. Ever hear of Arnold Schwarzenegger? You know, the Governator? When he produced films, he groped, and tongue-kissed women -- not maids, mind you, but successful, talented career women -- and laughed and yelled at them the whole time. No one came to their rescue -- why his wife (she's a Kennedy, you know) came out publicly and essentially said, 'Arnold can molest whomever he wants - I approve.' Oh -- sure -- she re-evaluated that free pass when she discovered he had impregnated HER housekeeper!
"If you want to get along here in the U.S. of A., you'll do as I say. Why, I've been coming to the Plume de la Plaza for years, and I've always done exactly what I want with women like you.
"That's right -- down on your knees. Don't make me twist your arm any harder.
"Oh, wait -- there's the phone. It's a call from the head of __________________ (major American bank name). 'Hi, Leonard? I'm a little tied up now. I'll get back to you about that deposit of gold bullion. I won't be long.'"
(Turns his attention back to the woman whimpering on her knees.)
"This can go easy, or it can go hard. It's up to you."
(Fade away to theme music from Rocky. Camera tracks back from window, to shot of entire hotel, revealing maids in exactly the same position seen through every window, row upon row. Cut to flags of the U.S., U.N., France, Egypt, and eventually entire row of flags as displayed at the U.N. Plaza.)