In a recent post, I proposed three theories about sexual behavior - all men are sexual predators, all politicians are predators, upstate NY men and politicians (or those from comparable areas) are always on the prowl. I also promised to review theories on the behavior of NFL quarterbacks - with special reference to the New York Jets.
Here is what I learned based on bad, formerly good, and good quarterbacks' behavior:
Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, was suspended for six games at the beginning of the season, but nonetheless led his team to the Super Bowl championship game - what a guy! He was suspended for an incident in which he had unpermitted sex with a drunken 20-year-old college student.
In a statement to police, the 20-year-old college student said Roethlisberger encouraged her and her friends to take numerous shots of alcohol. Then one of his bodyguards escorted her into a hallway at the Capital City nightclub in Milledgeville, Ga., sat her on a stool and left. She said Roethlisberger walked down the hallway and exposed himself.
"I told him it wasn't OK, no, we don't need to do this and I proceeded to get up and try to leave," she said. "I went to the first door I saw, which happened to be a bathroom."
According to her statement, Roethlisberger then followed her into the bathroom and shut the door.
"I still said no, this is not OK, and he then had sex with me," she wrote.
Some might call this rape, but in the NFL, this is called a date!
Some might ask why a professional quarterback has to liquor up a 20-year-old co-ed to get laid. But Roethlisberger is a big beefy guy who doesn't come across as having much of a line.
Brett Favre is the all-time NFL leader in consecutive starts by a quarterback covering 20 seasons - as well as having completed the most passes and thrown the most touchdowns in history.
Favre was drafted and played for the Atlanta Falcons, but then played 16 seasons with the Green Bay Packers, where he became one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.
Favre's problems began when he retired from Green Bay in 2008 then sold himself to the New York Jets, where (a) he had a horrible season (the next season he had another great year with Minnesota), (b) he sent lewd text messages and nude pictures of himself to a Jets cheerleader (that's her pictured next to Favre above) and to several massage therapists, all of whom claimed that they resented the attention (the therapists sued for sexual harassment - shades of Al Gore!).
What the hell happened to Favre - who was known as a great family man? First there was his capricious behavior as he repeatedly retired and unretired while switching teams. Plus, the good-looking Favre became prematurely gray and gnarled-looking. Could it be that he could no longer find willing young women to screw (an apparently longer-term problem for Roethlisberger)?
Waiting on the Jets bench for Favre to retire was good-looking, young Mark Sanchez.
Sanchez always seemed level-headed and nice. So much so, he seemingly passed inspection with Mika Brzezinski on the Morning Joe show - a tough-minded mother of two teen daughters.
So it was surprising when a 17-year-old high school girl revealed that she and he had hooked-up (oldsters - that means they screwed) .
Here's that story:
Eliza Kruger, 17 (above), says she "hooked up" with Jets star Mark Sanchez at his Jersey home last month, and offered a bedroom photo as proof to Deadspin, which yesterday reported the fling.
"We went back to his place in Jersey after dinner. He lives on a golf course. There was a big storm," Eliza told Deadspin.com, according to that website, which identified her only as E.K. . . .
When a Deadspin editor told her he would research the legality, Eliza reportedly replied that the age of sexual consent in New Jersey is "16. I checked."
"He's a really nice guy, you know," Eliza told the site. "He's one of the kindest people, and he's a genuine person."
So, there - really nice NFL guys prefer screwing pre-adults - and even make sure they're not jail bait before doing so. It's nice to know they find him so nice - perhaps Ms. Brzezinski will let Sanchez take her daughter to the prom - then spend the night in a hotel afterwards?