Understanding Shyness

Shyness is the awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Unlike introverts, who feel energized by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don't know how or can't tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction.

Recent Posts on Shyness

Don't Give Up on the Difficult Patient

By Allen J Frances M.D. on March 31, 2015 in DSM5 in Distress
The most difficult patients often eventually form the deepest relationships and have the most satisfying outcomes. We are most important and make the biggest difference in the lives of the people who need us most, even if the day to day is not always smooth. With redirection, what was once the power to destroy can now become the power to heal and create.

A Prayer for My Aunt

By Susan Hooper on March 30, 2015 in Detours and Tangents
My mother's younger sister often seemed angry with the world. In her last months, as she battled the physical and mental indignities of old age, I saw a new sweetness of character, along with the iron strength that had sustained her through her life's tribulations.

Fear the Future

By James Sherlock on March 29, 2015 in Ape Expectations
In our modern world, anxiety is a burden to many. In our past, however, it may have been the difference between life and death.

Thousands of Cormorants to be Killed: There Will be Blood

By Marc Bekoff Ph.D. on March 28, 2015 in Animal Emotions
The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers plans to perform a heinous experiment that includes killing 11,000 cormorants and destroying 26,000 nests to save salmon despite experts arguing that killing the cormorants is wrong and won't work. Conservation has a bloody history and there simply is no reason to continue these killing ways.

You're Okay . . . That's All You Need to Remember

The desire and expectations you have for your own personal growth should be tempered by the acknowledgement that you are okay and that you, alone, know yourself best.

Are We Losing Our Need for Physical Touch?

By Ray Williams on March 28, 2015 in Wired for Success
Has our hi-tech, media-socialized world lost something critical to our species—non-sexual human physical touch? Hasn't human physical contact set us apart from other animals, and has helped us develop complex language, culture, thinking and emotional expression?

Emboldened by Email: Walking the Talk

Is email good for relationships or not? Does it foster connectedness? Does it allow for the confessional moment which face to face contact inhibits? OR does email (as well as its cousin, texting) provide a constant distraction from being present with one another?

How to Override the Assumptions Others Make About You

Assumptions come in many varieties, but two of the most powerful and pervasive of these are confirmation bias and the primacy effect.

Teaching Evolves?!

By Dana S Dunn Ph.D. on March 23, 2015 in Head of the Class
The lecture isn't dead—but it is no longer the only approach college and university faculty use in their teaching.

Book Review: Wisdom from the Couch

By Ryan Howes PhD, ABPP on March 22, 2015 in In Therapy
Dr. Jennifer Kunst shares the warmer, friendlier side of Kleinian psychology in this interview and book review.

Does Anxiety Help You Survive in the Modern World?

Might the worrisome symptoms of anxiety have a useful function? Our ancestors needed to worry about lions, tigers, bears, and the headhunters over the next hill. But is anxiety still useful in the modern world? There are some scientific findings on this question.

Is Introversion Interfering With Your Friendships?

By Sophia Dembling on March 18, 2015 in The Introvert's Corner
You might not need a lot of friends and you might not need to see them often, but you do need friends. Introversion is no excuse--or reason--for letting friendships lapse.

The 7 Habits of Truly Genuine People

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on March 18, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
Being authentic requires a different approach to life—here's what you need to know:

Overcoming Negative Self-Thinking

The task of changing schema is to unlearn the self-defeating old habit and replace it with a new, healthier one.

Feedback Is a Gift, Give it!

By Sara Canaday on March 16, 2015 in You (According to Them)
While I’m a huge proponent of self-awareness and proactively seeking feedback, I also believe it is incumbent on us as leaders to tell it like it is (candidly and with compassion). Developing those under your guidance is one of the primary goals of a leader, mentor, or coach.

How to Completely Change Your Sex Life and Relationship

It's normal for a couple who has been together for a few years to fall into a stale and boring pattern. Our brains crave novelty. Stability and security is nice and comforting, but it’s not exciting. Instead of taking each other for granted and then going on Facebook looking up someone you dated high school, try being open and honest with each other. Hit the reset button.

5 Reasons You Should Brag

If you sing your own praises with the right attitude, you’ll build up your self-esteem, share what you’ve learned with the world—and achieve even more successes to crow about, both at work and in life.

How NOT to Raise a Narcissist

Narcissism is more than believing “I’m great!”; it’s believing “I’m better and more important than you!” Here's how NOT to raise a narcissistic child.

Ain't Much Left of Lovin' You

Prolonged exposure therapy requires you to gradually move closer to scenarios that resemble the event that haunts you. It can help you fall out of love!

Why You Need to Unplug for 24 Hours

By Susan Newman Ph.D. on March 04, 2015 in Singletons
Everyone from your boss to your child’s teachers expects you to be connected and be reachable 24/7. What a relief it can be to unplug for one day and not be at the mercy of your “screens.” What happens when you unplug for a whole day?

An OCEAN Far Away: Big 5 Personality Factors in Star Wars

Which Star Wars characters characters are the most open to experience while others are set in their ways? Who's the most conscientious or lackadaisy? Who are the extraverts, who's most agreeable, and who's most neurotic? Help rate the characters in order to find out together.

The Brain Is Not an Octopus

By Susan Greenfield Ph.D. on March 02, 2015 in Mind Change
Engaging in several tasks at once might seem like a wonderful solution for keeping pace with the speed of twenty-first-century life, but the price paid could be high.

Loneliness and Internet Use

At any given moment, hundreds of millions of people from all around the world are surfing the Internet, People rely on such networks to build and maintain their social contacts. Whether this new opportunity to be in social contact around the clock has enhanced people's well-being ?

Evaluating a Counselor, Coach, or Psychotherapist

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on March 01, 2015 in How To Do Life
Evaluation may be the most valuable skill we're not taught. I attempt to do so in this article.

8 Warning Signs Your Lover is a Narcissist

The Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration." How do you know when your romantic partner may be a narcissist? Here are eight telltale signs...

A Single Question Can Boost Your Chance of Getting a Date

Have you ever wanted to ask out someone you know, or get a date with an attractive stranger? In either case, you can increase your chances of getting a "yes" by first asking a simple question, or making a small request. Find out what the research has to say here...

Are Friends Really Worth That Much?

By Susan K Perry Ph.D. on February 27, 2015 in Creating in Flow
Have you ever reflected on the role of female friends in your own life? Do you maintain lifelong friendships? If not, do you wish you could?

9/11, President Obama and the Haunting of America

By Rupert W Nacoste Ph.D. on February 25, 2015 in A Quiet Revolution
Talk about being haunted. In the context of the shock of 9/11 and the shock of electing a non-white to the Presidency, America is filled with fear of psychological ghosts; filled with intergroup anxiety.

Athletes and the Spiral of Silence

By Bakari Akil II Ph.D. on February 22, 2015 in Communication Central
Do sports journalists intimidate athletes into silence?

Use Curiosity to Hook New Friends

“Curiosity hooks” act as silent invitations for people to initiate conversations.