Understanding Shyness

Shyness is the awkwardness or apprehension some people feel when approaching or being approached by other people. Unlike introverts, who feel energized by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don't know how or can't tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction.

Recent Posts on Shyness

Social Anxiety Diminished by Brain Signals and Re-Thinking

Social anxiety and its treatment with cognitive behavioral therapy can be studied with advanced brain imaging. Both the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala are involved.

Are Your Kids Using Pot to Beat Anxiety?

By Temma Ehrenfeld on July 20, 2015 in Open Gently
Ask your kids if they're using pot medicinally for cramps, PMS or anxiety.

The Stanford Prison Experiment

Some 44 years ago, I conducted a research experiment that could have been the bane of my existence. Instead it spurred me on to research several topics: good vs evil, how our personal time perspectives affect our lives, and the self-imposed "prison," shyness. Now, The Stanford Prison Experiment is an award-winning feature film that has viewers questioning: What would I do?

How to Make Your Way Into (Practically) Any Group

By Andrea Bonior Ph.D. on June 28, 2015 in Friendship 2.0
Entering any group as an outsider can be difficult. Often, we sabatoge ourselves by assuming that others are snobby or exclusive, when in reality they just already know each other-- and that's what makes us uncomfortable.

Shame Indicates Anxiety Disorders in Children

Which emotion is a bigger indicator of an anxiety disorder in children - guilt or shame?

A Heart-Rending Story of Courage in the Face of Loss

Bella lost her baby. What she did with her anger, grief and shame is remarkable.

Why Some Men Find It So Hard to Give In

We expect men to be dominant and women to be submissive, according to traditional gender roles. A man who submits to the authority of others, therefore, runs this risk of violating society’s norms. For some men, the shame of giving in hits particularly hard.

Wish You Could Banish Self-Doubt?

Could confidence be over-rated? What if instead of confidently striding into your next meeting, pitching your new big idea or even owning a large public stage relied less on feeling fearless and more on acknowledging your self-doubt and having the courage to move forward and do it anyway?

Why Feeling Invisible Could Be a Key to Feeling Better

Technology can be used to create the illusion that your body is completely invisible to yourself and others. Experiments show that this reduces social anxiety in stressful social situations. This finding may lead to exciting new treatment strategies.

Change Doesn't Happen Overnight, It Happens in 5 Stages

Trying to change too fast can actually set you up for failure. Whether you want to exercise more often or you want to spend less money, there are five stages of change you'll likely go through.

Your Ultimate Self-Care Assessment (with resources!)

Self-care is more than bubble baths. It's about how you approach each aspect of your life. Below are different categories of self-care with questions designed to help you reflect on how you're doing in each area. This isn't a tool to make you feel guilty. Approach these questions with gentleness and curiosity. Resources follow the questions. Enjoy!

Faulty Reporting on ADHD

By Christopher Lane Ph.D. on April 11, 2015 in Side Effects
Newspaper of record criticized for its tardy response to overmedicalization.

Don't Give Up on the Difficult Patient

By Allen J Frances M.D. on March 31, 2015 in DSM5 in Distress
The most difficult patients often eventually form the deepest relationships and have the most satisfying outcomes. We are most important and make the biggest difference in the lives of the people who need us most, even if the day to day is not always smooth. With redirection, what was once the power to destroy can now become the power to heal and create.

A Prayer for My Aunt

By Susan Hooper on March 30, 2015 in Detours and Tangents
My mother's younger sister often seemed angry with the world. In her last months, as she battled the physical and mental indignities of old age, I saw a new sweetness of character, along with the iron strength that had sustained her through her life's tribulations.

Thousands of Cormorants to be Killed: There Will be Blood

By Marc Bekoff Ph.D. on March 28, 2015 in Animal Emotions
The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers plans to perform a heinous experiment that includes killing 11,000 cormorants and destroying 26,000 nests to save salmon despite experts arguing that killing the cormorants is wrong and won't work. Conservation has a bloody history and there simply is no reason to continue these killing ways.

Emboldened by Email: Walking the Talk

Is email good for relationships or not? Does it foster connectedness? Does it allow for the confessional moment which face to face contact inhibits? OR does email (as well as its cousin, texting) provide a constant distraction from being present with one another?

Teaching Evolves?!

By Dana S Dunn Ph.D. on March 23, 2015 in Head of the Class
The lecture isn't dead—but it is no longer the only approach college and university faculty use in their teaching.

Book Review: Wisdom from the Couch

By Ryan Howes PhD, ABPP on March 22, 2015 in In Therapy
Dr. Jennifer Kunst shares the warmer, friendlier side of Kleinian psychology in this interview and book review.

Does Anxiety Help You Survive in the Modern World?

Might the worrisome symptoms of anxiety have a useful function? Our ancestors needed to worry about lions, tigers, bears, and the headhunters over the next hill. But is anxiety still useful in the modern world? There are some scientific findings on this question.

The 7 Habits of Truly Genuine People

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on March 18, 2015 in The Squeaky Wheel
Being authentic requires a different approach to life—here's what you need to know:

Overcoming Negative Self-Thinking

The task of changing schema is to unlearn the self-defeating old habit and replace it with a new, healthier one.

Feedback Is a Gift, Give it!

By Sara Canaday on March 16, 2015 in You (According to Them)
While I’m a huge proponent of self-awareness and proactively seeking feedback, I also believe it is incumbent on us as leaders to tell it like it is (candidly and with compassion). Developing those under your guidance is one of the primary goals of a leader, mentor, or coach.

How to Completely Change Your Sex Life and Relationship

It's normal for a couple who has been together for a few years to fall into a stale and boring pattern. Our brains crave novelty. Stability and security is nice and comforting, but it’s not exciting. Instead of taking each other for granted and then going on Facebook looking up someone you dated high school, try being open and honest with each other. Hit the reset button.

5 Reasons You Should Brag

If you sing your own praises with the right attitude, you’ll build up your self-esteem, share what you’ve learned with the world—and achieve even more successes to crow about, both at work and in life.

Ain't Much Left of Lovin' You

Prolonged exposure therapy requires you to gradually move closer to scenarios that resemble the event that haunts you. It can help you fall out of love!

An OCEAN Far Away: Big 5 Personality Factors in Star Wars

Which Star Wars characters characters are the most open to experience while others are set in their ways? Who's the most conscientious or lackadaisy? Who are the extraverts, who's most agreeable, and who's most neurotic? Help rate the characters in order to find out together.

Loneliness and Internet Use

At any given moment, hundreds of millions of people from all around the world are surfing the Internet, People rely on such networks to build and maintain their social contacts. Whether this new opportunity to be in social contact around the clock has enhanced people's well-being ?

Evaluating a Counselor, Coach, or Psychotherapist

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on March 01, 2015 in How To Do Life
Evaluation may be the most valuable skill we're not taught. I attempt to do so in this article.

A Single Question Can Boost Your Chance of Getting a Date

Have you ever wanted to ask out someone you know, or get a date with an attractive stranger? In either case, you can increase your chances of getting a "yes" by first asking a simple question, or making a small request. Find out what the research has to say here...