All About Relationships

Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. For some, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element of life, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy, in a child's earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant's needs for food, care, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Those relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish patterns of relating to others. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.

Recent posts on Relationships

What if Your Parents Were Just Not That Into You?

What if your parents were just not that into you? The lifelong effects of childhood neglect.

Life Long Learning

he Buddhists refer to such a state of openness as “beginner’s mind.” They regard this orientation as the curiosity of a child’s mind, and believe that it is an enlightened way....

Do you ever argue like this?

Arguing in a marriage can be very helpful if it leads to solving problems. If the argument degrades into a tit for tat interaction, it is destructive to a marriage.

What Should You Do When You Don't Trust Your Therapist?

By Loren Soeiro, Ph.D. ABPP on August 21, 2017 in I Hear You
What's the right thing to do if you've started therapy, but you're not sure you feel a connection to your psychologist? Here's a tip that could get the treatment back on track.
zoeytoja / 123RF Stock Photo

Saying Goodbye? 5 Ideas for Emotionally Healthy Farewells

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on August 21, 2017 in Off the Couch
Whether you’re saying goodbye to a child, a pet or a house, to a marriage or partnership, or to a loved one who is dying, farewells can be painful. How can you make them easier?

Why Adultery Is Harmful Even Before It's Discovered

Kai Cole uses her experience of her marriage and divorce from Joss Whedon to show that the saying "what you don't know can't hurt you" is wrong.

"How Come People Say They Love Animals and Kill Them?"

By Marc Bekoff Ph.D. on August 20, 2017 in Animal Emotions
In a discussion with kids about human-animal relationships some difficult topics were raised. Some focused on obvious conflicts, people saying one thing and doing something else.
Pixabay/Labeled for reuse/No attribution required

Top Ten Parenting Tips

By Tim Carey Ph.D. on August 20, 2017 in In Control
Parenting is the greatest trip on earth. I wish you the ride of your life.

Your Legacy After You Die: Will It Be Anger or Love?

By Robert Enright Ph.D. on August 20, 2017 in The Forgiving Life
When you die, you might leave a legacy of anger in the world that could be passed to your children. Or you could leave a legacy of love that is passed on as a gift to others.

52 Ways to Show I Love You: Responding to Silences

Identifying a silence's meaning and responding according to its underlying intent can be a powerful way to show love. Matching the response to the meaning reflects intimacy.

Thresholds for Racism

Some people have high thresholds for racism. But subtle racism is more widespread than blatant racism. An awareness of history can improve accuracy in detecting racism.

Is It Narcissism? Or Why Some People Can't Love

Wondering if someone is a narcissist? Here is the test of 8 traits that most all narcissists have.

What Your Earliest Food Memories Say About You

Memories of food associated with growing up influence you in ways you never realized. New research shows the role that food memory plays in adapting to adult life.

B.E.A.R.–Strategies for Restraint and Stability

Looking for strategies to help curb your anger arousal? Try practicing B.E.A.R.

Can You Sue Someone Over a Broken Promise?

By Ruth Lee Johnson J.D. on August 18, 2017 in So Sue Me
Have you ever relied on someone's promise, only to be hurt when that promise was broken? Promissory estoppel is the little-known legal doctrine that holds people to their word.

25 Simple Self-Care Tools for Weary Parents

By Erin Leyba LCSW, Ph.D. on August 18, 2017 in Joyful Parenting
Many parents are exhausted and overworked. These ideas offer ways to engage in self-care, renew your energy, tune into feelings, and strengthen relationships in 10 minutes or less.

1-on-1 Opposite Sex Friends: A Blind Spot Threat to Marriage

By Zack Carter Ph.D. on August 18, 2017 in Clear Communication
Check your mirrors. Giving up friendship freedom may save your marriage. Here's five tips on how to manage friendships with the opposite sex without compromising your marriage.

Understanding Why Bachelorette Rachel Chose Bryan

By Goal Auzeen Saedi Ph.D. on August 18, 2017 in Millennial Media
Since the Bachelorette finale weeks ago, speculation and rumors are still flying regarding whether or not Rachel made the right choice. Read on for one psychologist's take.

A Simpler Way to Get Along Without Asking About Feelings

By Kimberly Key on August 18, 2017 in Counseling Keys
Some people, and lots of men, have been raised not to feel and are at a loss when they are asked to identify a feeling. Or worse, they have been abused for their feelings.

A New Toxic Trend in Relationships: Is Yours at Risk?

Do you look to your partner to support for your own self-expression? A cultural trend is having unforeseen consequences for couples.

A Good Marriage Is Better Than Therapy

A loving marriage can heal old emotional wounds more effectively than the best therapy. At its best, psychotherapy creates a warm and understanding relationship.
Oliver Cole/stocksnap

The Hero's Journey

Can you take the pain out of painful relationships?

When Your Boss Is a Bully or Worse: What Can You Do?

By Peg Streep on August 18, 2017 in Tech Support
Our working lives take up a lot of time and, sometimes, emotional space. What to do when your work is wrecking your state of mind?

How Our Bodies Age, Part 5

Does sexuality have to decline as we age? Maybe in this regard aging is a myth. We grow old in other people's eyes and eventually they convince us of that fact.

Why Divorced People Are Key to Understanding Marriage

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on August 18, 2017 in Living Single
A study of 10,000 Dutch adults looked at the health of married people to see if it had anything to do with who got divorced. Did it ever.

A Simple Tool for Greater Relationship Satisfaction

By Grant H. Brenner M.D. on August 18, 2017 in ExperiMentations
In today's hectic, sometimes lonely, day and age, proven tools to increase passion and relationship satisfaction are a sought after commodity. Research is illuminating, and useful.
Photo by Joseph Gonzalez on Unsplash

It’s Not Your Fault

If you were abused, know that it’s not your fault, you aren’t damaged, and you have a chance to live a meaningful life.

Give Me Back My Keys!

To build a new life, it's time to take back the keys from your ex and step out of the self-constructed prison of the past.

Anger Over Trump’s Words Harms Our Health: Can We Forgive?

By Rita Watson MPH on August 17, 2017 in With Love and Gratitude
If we are angry about Trump's Charlottesville words, we can instead cling to the words of Nelson Mandela, as cited by Barack Obama in the most liked tweet in Twitter history.

Mental Health Principles from the Wisdom of Psychotherapy

In thinking about a value system based on psychotherapeutic principles, I began to consider some guidelines that might be of value for achieving a freer, more satisfying existence.