Dealing with Passive-Aggression

It's that sweet-yet-scolding note your roommate leaves about the one cup you left unwashed, or the report your colleague keeps "forgetting" to finish for you. Passive-aggression is frustrating to its targets, since it's not as easily identifiable—or unacceptable—as, say, socking someone in the jaw. For their part, passive-aggressive types can learn to express their anger in healthier ways, and stop sneaking around.

Recent posts on Passive-Aggression

Passive Aggression at Work: The Perfect Office Crime

Is there a passive-aggressive person in your workplace?

How a Yabut Can Kill a Conversation

Nothing sucks the blood out a great idea faster than the dreaded "Yabut." Yabuts need to feel in control and by adding the word "but" they discount everything leading up to it.

5 Ways to Manage Your Child's Passive Aggressive Behavior

Avoid being an unwitting victim of your child’s destructive way of engaging you by recognizing passive aggression on the spot.

The Angry Smile: Responding to Passive Aggressive Behavior

What happens when parents teach their children to say “yes” to the presence of anger and “no” to the expression of anger through aggressive or passive-aggressive behaviors?
ShutterDivision / AdobeStock

How to Respond to Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Is someone’s passive-aggressive behavior driving you up the wall? Maybe you’re working too hard. Here’s what to do instead.

52 Ways: Identify Threats to Your Relationship from Others

By Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on November 19, 2017 in Life, Refracted
Identify behaviors that undermine the integrity of your love relationship, create conflict between partners, or destabilize one member in a way that throws a couple into chaos.

Dealing with Passive-Aggressives Without Losing Your Mind

By Andrea Brandt Ph.D. M.F.T. on November 01, 2017 in Mindful Anger
Passive-aggressiveness is a form of anger.
Lisa F. Young / AdobeStock

A Passive-Aggressive Thanksgiving

A tongue-in-cheek look at what’s going on under the surface at the passive-aggressive family’s holiday table.

Shadows of the Dark Triad

Perpetrators of mass violence aren't always apparent in the form of a readily identifiable monster. They often appear as the garden variety people who live among us.

12 Common Failures of Passive-Aggressive People

By Preston Ni M.S.B.A. on October 08, 2017 in Communication Success
D. Hall-Flavin describes passive-aggression as “a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them." Here are the major negative consequences.

6 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Their Anger

By Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. on September 28, 2017 in Feeling It
How to communicate frustration without destroying your relationships.

Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

By Ana Nogales, Ph.D. on September 06, 2017 in Family Secrets
Do not feel ashamed about being a victim of sexual harassment. Shame is for those whose conduct is improper, not the victim.

6 Steps to Changing Someone's Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Is a passive aggressive person causing you to feel angry and exhausted? The skill of Benign Confrontation can help you make long-term changes to this destructive dynamic.

Management Insights From The Former CEO of a $1B Company

By Peter Bregman on July 24, 2017 in How We Work
Learn how Don rebuilt FEI's leadership team to put the company first, and how to rollout strategy changes that hold people accountable.

6 Legitimate Reasons a Partner May Have a Low Desire for Sex

Low sexual desire is a troubling issue. When is it not a sexual dysfunction?

The Para-professional–Student Relationship

Para-professionals wield tremendous power over their charges. After reading “My Paraprofessional Was Supposed to Help me; instead, she Bullied me” I went looking for an interview.
Modified Microsoft clipart

Is Your Partner Passive-aggressive?

Passive-aggressive try to block whatever it is you want. You feel their unspoken anger. Learn the signs and what you can do.

4 Ways the Pain of Childhood Trauma Impacts Us as Adults

Children make meaning out of the events they witness and things that happen to them, and they create an internal map of how the world is. This meaning-making helps them cope.

The Five Best Ways to Ruin an Apology

Here's how to de-code those relationship-busting apologies in love and work.

Digital Abuse in Relationships: What You Need to Know

By Michele Ybarra MPH, Ph.D. on May 17, 2017 in Connected
Learn how, and how often, digital technology is being used by domestic abusers to victimize their partners.
Darlene Lancer

Are You Being Manipulated?

Manipulation is veiled influence or hostility that may seem benign, friendly, or flattering. It can be hard to detect and know how to respond, unless you can spot the signs.

5 Ways to Spot Whether Your Ex Is Taking Advantage of You

After your breakup you agree to be friends. It doesn't take long, however, before you realize what a huge mistake that was. He is not a friend. He is taking advantage of you.

Why Passive-Aggressive Behavior Thrives in the Workplace

Passive aggressive workers make for an unpleasant office atmosphere at best and utter sabotage of productivity at worst.

Six Daily Irritations That We Deal With Most Frequently

You Are Not Alone Dealing With Daily Irritations

Passive Aggressive Notes

An 8-year-old boy replaces aggression with passive-aggression, in response to his mother's attempt to punish him.

52 Ways to Show I Love You: No Stealing

By Roni Beth Tower Ph.D., ABPP on February 19, 2017 in Life, Refracted
Taking over a loved one's time, attention, property, space or decisions without explicit permission from him or her is stealing. Boundary violations can threaten a relationship.

Shouldn't We Support Melania?

Melania Trump- Does she need help?

5 Ways That Adults Bully Each Other

By Preston Ni M.S.B.A. on January 22, 2017 in Communication Success
Five common (and surprising) tactics bullies use to extort undue influence and power.

7 Ways to Cope With Narcissists at Work

There's a pretty good chance that you have a narcissist in your workplace. Follow these steps to protect yourself.

Yes Virginia, Family Members Can be Bullies

Family tables are where we first learn that our silence keeps us out of the line of fire. Yet be wary of addressing the disrespect of the present AND the slights of holidays past.