Dealing with Passive-Aggression

It's that sweet-yet-scolding note your roommate leaves about the one cup you left unwashed, or the report your colleague keeps "forgetting" to finish for you. Passive-aggression is frustrating to its targets, since it's not as easily identifiable—or unacceptable—as, say, socking someone in the jaw would be. For their part, passive-aggressive types can learn to express their anger in healthier ways, and stop sneaking around.

Recent Posts on Passive-Aggression

How to Complain So People Will Listen

Friends and family are supposed to love you, so why is it they don't always seem to care when you complain about their behavior? It might be something about the way you're saying it. Start seeing results with these practical tips for communicating complaints.

How to Deal With "Stop, I Don’t Want to Talk About It"

Is there an elephant in your room? Hidden agendas and passive-aggressive behavior can wreak havoc in any relationship.

The Deafening Silence of Passive Aggressive Behavior

Has a relative, colleague, or friend ever gifted you with a passive aggressive present or backhanded compliment as their way of trying to prove a point or express their hostility wordlessly?

5 Ways NOT to Deal with Anger

By Steven Laurent on June 05, 2015 in Chill Pill
Even I use the third strategy, on occasion, against my own advice...

Love and the Passive-Aggressive Personality

While you can help your partner verbalize their feelings and you can tell them what is and isn't ok with you—and hold them accountable, you are the only person whose behavior you can control.

What Mentally Strong People Do When Things Go Wrong

Explanations help you learn from your mistakes. Excuses will damage your relationships and sabotage your chances of success.

Relationship Roadblock? Define Your Values

It's easy for couples to hit roadblocks that turn into power struggles and reactions to control. Side-step it by talking about your values and what's really important to you

Low Self-Esteem? You're Likely to Stay In a Bad Relationship

Research finds that people with low self-esteem avoid dealing with conflicts in their relationships, fearing rejection. This can lead to a worsening relationship, in which they remain frozen.

Dragging Dead Bodies

Dragging around the dead bodies at work sure can wear you out! Here is some good advice.

Understanding the Deception of Passive Aggressive People

Passive aggression is a form of anger, except the anger is expressed with a smile instead of the typical expressions. Learn how to communicate with and understand these types of people.

What Kind of Angry Are You? (Part 2)

In order to get the important message that anger is trying to deliver, you need to steer clear of your old, unhealthy avoidance habits and let your inner communication come through.

Darkness Visible: Ellen Pao vs. Kleiner Perkins

Deep inside the hearts of many men—especially the adrenaline-driven ones—is fear, shame and paranoia, and unless they keep women off the scent through abuse, they run the risk of being "outed" by women's great "b.s. detectors."

How to Escape the Drama in Our Own Heads

By Gregg McBride on March 14, 2015 in The Weight-ing Game
It's often when caught up in life's to-do list that we get caught up in our own mental interpretation of what's going on in the world around us—and then make it all about us, when in fact, it has nothing to do with us. And if we would instead take a moment to breathe and observe, we just might learn something and/or find a reason to count our and others' life blessings.

9 Ways Some People Will Take Advantage of You

Have you been emotionally ambushed by a coercive friend, coworker, or family member?

Teasing: Seven Myths You'll Be Relieved To Debunk

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on March 03, 2015 in Ambigamy
"Touchy touchy. You're being too sensitive!" "No I'm not. You're just being incredibly insensitive." Here's a quick guide to deciding who is being hypersensitive and who is being insensitive.

Resolving Social Conflict Between Familiar Cats

Cats may abruptly begin fighting with a cat they have known for years. Other times, a cat may dislike a new cat from the very first introduction. Have you ever had cats that did not get along? Please share your cat’s story and how you resolved the problem of quarreling kitties.

Getting Ready to Get Back Out in the Dating World

Getting ready to date again after your big breakup isn't easy, but it's worth it (and so are you!)

"What's He Building in There?"—Anatomy of an Irrelationship

In irrelationship, we believe that we doing all the heavy lifting, either by giving, accepting or accommodating. Sooner than later, this creates smoldering resentment and distress on both sides. This disconnect is the result of each partner’s continuing as adults to play care taking roles that they took on toward their caregivers when they were small children.

Do You Have a Disorganized Person in Your Life?

The next time you feel ambushed by a disorganized person in your life, remember that you do have a choice.

6 Tips for Dealing With Passive-Aggressive People

Are you dealing with someone who’s passive-aggressive in your life? Relating to a passive-aggressive person can be a difficult experience, with many moments of frustration, anger, and despair. How can you stay on top of the situation and maintain your equanimity? Here are keys to successfully handle passive-aggressive personal relationships...

Lust, Favors and Nepotism: Leadership Promotions Turn Toxic

Lust and who is sleeping with whom unfortunately continues to motivate leadership promotions in some top tier organizations. Add favors and nepotism to the illegitimate promotions list and it is a recipe for grievances, lawsuits and a toxic workplace. In 2015 this carnal and deceitful basis for promotions still slithers forward. I offer insights and remedies.

Your New Year’s Resolution: Put the Phone Away

Are you resolving to be a better person this year? Build a new relationship? Increase your work performance? Enhance your creativity? There's one simple step that can help you achieve all of these things: controlling the distracting devices that are interfering with your goals. Learn why it's important to put your phone away and focus on what matters.

Is Your Relationship Toxic?

You may be in a toxic relationship and not even know it!

Stop Head Games From Destroying Your Love

Make your relationship healthier and make it last by keeping clear of hidden and not-so-hidden head games.

Why Breaking Up is So Hard to Do

By Frances Cohen Praver Ph.D. on December 21, 2014 in Love Doc
T’s the season to be jolly. Yet many of us are not exactly jolly; rather, many of us are feeling sad. Indeed, this may be the season for separating from an unsatisfactory relationship. The end of the year could well signal the end of a hurtful union.

Ten Important Questions You Should Ask a Potential Partner

By Randi Gunther Ph.D. on December 17, 2014 in Rediscovering Love
Many relationships fall apart because the partners don't really know what to expect from each other once they become involved. Knowing what questions to ask early on can quickly pave the way to authentic and heroic mutual understanding.

Don't Give Your Power to Others

By Randi Kreger on December 02, 2014 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
To claim our power means learning to live consciously, taking responsibility for ourselves and choices, building self-esteem, and asking directly for our needs and wants. As we learn to express ourselves honestly and set boundaries and say no, we create safety and mutual respect, allowing our partner to do the same.

The 11 People We Love to Hate at Work

By Steve Albrecht DBA on November 26, 2014 in The Act of Violence
Challenging personality types like psychos, idea killers, and smart slackers can make for a long day on the job.

What's the Best Way to Deal with Sneaky People?

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on November 16, 2014 in Off the Couch
Unfortunately, most of us know someone who acts one way and secretly feels another; who lies or misleads us; who is manipulative, or passive-aggressive. Maybe it’s your “friend” who hugs you and tells you you’re the best, and then badmouths you behind your back. Or a sibling who guilt trips you into things you don't want to do. What's the best way to deal with them?

Why You May Be Passive-Aggressive, and Not Even Realize It

By Andrea Brandt Ph.D. M.F.T. on November 03, 2014 in Mindful Anger
You may have called partners, family members, coworkers, or friends "passive aggressive" when in conflict, but have you ever stopped to wonder if you yourself could be exhibiting passive aggressive behaviors, too?