Dealing with Passive-Aggression

It's that sweet-yet-scolding note your roommate leaves about the one cup you left unwashed, or the report your colleague keeps "forgetting" to finish for you. Passive-aggression is frustrating to its targets, since it's not as easily identifiable—or unacceptable—as, say, socking someone in the jaw. For their part, passive-aggressive types can learn to express their anger in healthier ways, and stop sneaking around.

Recent Posts on Passive-Aggression

Who Would Jesus Stone?

By Rebecca Coffey on November 20, 2015 The Bejeezus Out of Me
Classic nonviolence is far from passive. It is smartly aggressive. To get under their oppressors’ skin, civil rights and social reform leaders have had to be psychologically astute. (“What will get their goats them this time?”). And, apparently, thinking that way works. A growing body of research suggests that nonviolence is more effective than violence.

10 Signs You're in a Relationship With a Passive-Aggressive

The NYU Medical Center defines a passive-aggressive individual as someone who "may appear to comply or act appropriately, but actually behaves negatively and passively resists." How do you know when you’re in a relationship with a passive-aggressive? Here are some telltale signs.

5 Ways That Passive-Aggressive People Thrive Online

Today’s technology affords anyone who wants to mask their anger or aggression a perfect front.

14 Signs of Psychological and Emotional Manipulation

Psychological manipulation can be defined as the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits and privileges at the victim’s expense. Here are fourteen "tricks" manipulative people often use to coerce others into a position of disadvantage...

The 5 Fighting Words You Need to Drop From Your Relationship

Do you fight dirty? These five words are hurting your relationship.

Lost Girls

By Katherine Ramsland Ph.D. on September 21, 2015 Shadow Boxing
Reading one of Joyce Carol Oates's story collections brings a jarring sense of what people are capable of, in the form of adolescent girls.

Machiavellians at Work: The Case of the Conniving Counselor

Machiavellians are cunning and can exert their influence gradually and subtly. At work they can cause significant harm before their schemes are outed. I responded to one such employee by calling her bluff and blocking her attempts at continued manipulation. Wrath ensued.

9 Things Only Passive-Aggressive People Do

While most people take the passive-aggressive approach once in a while, for some people manipulation and indirect communication become a way of life.

Inside the Mind of the Twitter Troll

The latest scientific study on internet trolls finds them to suffer from a unique constellation of manipulativeness (cunning, scheming, unscrupulous), sadism (pleasure from inflicting pain on others) and psychopathy (lacking empathy and remorse), which may only be properly illuminated by psychological testing.

The Huntress Hunts You

The latest celebrity trophy hunter is a femme fatale who sees killing as therapy. Her motives help us understand the dilemma of everyone who’s ever felt like a Nobody in a Dead End job, in need of some life-saving heroic purpose.

10 Signs of a Passive-Aggressive Relationship

The NYU Medical Center defines a passive-aggressive individual as someone who "may appear to comply or act appropriately, but actually behaves negatively and passively resists.” A passive-aggressive relationship can occur in romantic partnership, family, social circles, or at the workplace. Here are ten common traits passive-aggressive people exhibit in relationships...

7 Reasons You May Not Get What You Need

If you have trouble expressing your needs it's not necessarily because you're an introvert, but some introverted behaviors might contribute to the problem.

Hunting Bwana the Dentist

What would motivate a dentist to spend $55,000 to kill an elderly tourist lion? The answer takes us on a psychological safari looking at recent themes in American life that incite and reward fantasies of the mighty hunter.

How to Complain So People Will Listen

Friends and family are supposed to love you, so why is it they don't always seem to care when you complain about their behavior? It might be something about the way you're saying it. Start seeing results with these practical tips for communicating complaints.

How to Deal With "Stop, I Don’t Want to Talk About It"

Is there an elephant in your room? Hidden agendas and passive-aggressive behavior can wreak havoc in any relationship.

The Deafening Silence of Passive Aggressive Behavior

Has a relative, colleague, or friend ever gifted you with a passive aggressive present or backhanded compliment as their way of trying to prove a point or express their hostility wordlessly?

5 Ways NOT to Deal with Anger

By Steven Laurent on June 05, 2015 Chill Pill
Even I use the third strategy, on occasion, against my own advice...

Love and the Passive-Aggressive Personality

While you can help your partner verbalize their feelings and you can tell them what is and isn't ok with you—and hold them accountable, you are the only person whose behavior you can control.

What Mentally Strong People Do When Things Go Wrong

Explanations help you learn from your mistakes. Excuses will damage your relationships and sabotage your chances of success.

Relationship Roadblock? Define Your Values

It's easy for couples to hit roadblocks that turn into power struggles and reactions to control. Side-step it by talking about your values and what's really important to you

Low Self-Esteem? You're Likely to Stay In a Bad Relationship

Research finds that people with low self-esteem avoid dealing with conflicts in their relationships, fearing rejection. This can lead to a worsening relationship, in which they remain frozen.

Dragging Dead Bodies

Dragging around the dead bodies at work sure can wear you out! Here is some good advice.

Understanding the Deception of Passive Aggressive People

Passive aggression is a form of anger, except the anger is expressed with a smile instead of the typical expressions. Learn how to communicate with and understand these types of people.

What Kind of Angry Are You? (Part 2)

In order to get the important message that anger is trying to deliver, you need to steer clear of your old, unhealthy avoidance habits and let your inner communication come through.

Darkness Visible: Ellen Pao vs. Kleiner Perkins

Deep inside the hearts of many men—especially the adrenaline-driven ones—is fear, shame and paranoia, and unless they keep women off the scent through abuse, they run the risk of being "outed" by women's great "b.s. detectors."

How to Escape the Drama in Our Own Heads

By Gregg McBride on March 14, 2015 The Weight-ing Game
It's often when caught up in life's to-do list that we get caught up in our own mental interpretation of what's going on in the world around us—and then make it all about us, when in fact, it has nothing to do with us. And if we would instead take a moment to breathe and observe, we just might learn something and/or find a reason to count our and others' life blessings.

9 Ways Some People Will Take Advantage of You

Have you been emotionally ambushed by a coercive friend, coworker, or family member?

Teasing: Seven Myths You'll Be Relieved To Debunk

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on March 03, 2015 Ambigamy
"Touchy touchy. You're being too sensitive!" "No I'm not. You're just being incredibly insensitive." Here's a quick guide to deciding who is being hypersensitive and who is being insensitive.

Resolving Social Conflict Between Familiar Cats

Cats may abruptly begin fighting with a cat they have known for years. Other times, a cat may dislike a new cat from the very first introduction. Have you ever had cats that did not get along? Please share your cat’s story and how you resolved the problem of quarreling kitties.

Getting Ready to Get Back Out in the Dating World

Getting ready to date again after your big breakup isn't easy, but it's worth it (and so are you!)