Dealing with Passive-Aggression

It's that sweet-yet-scolding note your roommate leaves about the one cup you left unwashed, or the report your colleague keeps "forgetting" to finish for you. Passive-aggression is frustrating to its targets, since it's not as easily identifiable—or unacceptable—as, say, socking someone in the jaw would be. For their part, passive-aggressive types can learn to express their anger in healthier ways, and stop sneaking around.

Recent Posts on Passive-Aggression

Cyberbullying? There’s an App for That

In the 2004 teen comedy “Mean Girls,” a central plot point is a notebook filled with vicious rumors and gossip — the “Burn Book,” it is called. Now the concept has been taken into the social media age with the “Burnbook” app.

7 Signs of People With Integrity

By Seth Meyers Psy.D. on April 06, 2015 in Insight Is 20/20
Some very basic signs of integrity are dreadfully rare - see my reference to physicians - but the good news about integrity is that we're not born with or without it, so we can change how much integrity we show in everyday life. Check out these seven examples of integrity and ask yourself how often you see these signs in everyday life.

7 Types of Toxic Bosses

What type of toxic behaviors does your boss exhibit? Narcissism? Bullying? Gossiping? Here are 7 types with tips for making the best of a toxic situation.

Employee Conflict: Fighters vs. Flighters

Categorizing your workforce with this simple "psychology" may not be scientifically accurate, but it can help keep you sane.

8 Signs You're in a Relationship with a Sexual Narcissist

Sexual narcissism can be defined as a grandiose sense of one’s sexual prowess which, in the mind of the sexual narcissist, entitles him or her to engage in acts of emotional and physical manipulation at the partner’s expense. How do you know when your partner may be a sexual narcissist? Here are eight telltale signs...

Dragging Dead Bodies

Dragging around the dead bodies at work sure can wear you out! Here is some good advice.

Understanding the Deception of Passive Aggressive People

Passive aggression is a form of anger, except the anger is expressed with a smile instead of the typical expressions. Learn how to communicate with and understand these types of people.

What Kind of Angry Are You? (Part 2)

In order to get the important message that anger is trying to deliver, you need to steer clear of your old, unhealthy avoidance habits and let your inner communication come through.

Darkness Visible: Ellen Pao vs. Kleiner Perkins

Deep inside the hearts of many men—especially the adrenaline-driven ones—is fear, shame and paranoia, and unless they keep women off the scent through abuse, they run the risk of being "outed" by women's great "b.s. detectors."

How to Escape the Drama in Our Own Heads

By Gregg McBride on March 14, 2015 in The Weight-ing Game
It's often when caught up in life's to-do list that we get caught up in our own mental interpretation of what's going on in the world around us—and then make it all about us, when in fact, it has nothing to do with us. And if we would instead take a moment to breathe and observe, we just might learn something and/or find a reason to count our and others' life blessings.

9 Ways Some People Will Take Advantage of You

Have you been emotionally ambushed by a coercive friend, coworker, or family member?

Teasing: Seven Myths You'll Be Relieved To Debunk

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on March 03, 2015 in Ambigamy
"Touchy touchy. You're being too sensitive!" "No I'm not. You're just being incredibly insensitive." Here's a quick guide to deciding who is being hypersensitive and who is being insensitive.

Resolving Social Conflict Between Familiar Cats

Cats may abruptly begin fighting with a cat they have known for years. Other times, a cat may dislike a new cat from the very first introduction. Have you ever had cats that did not get along? Please share your cat’s story and how you resolved the problem of quarreling kitties.

8 Negative Attitudes of Chronically Unhappy People

All of us experience negative thoughts from time to time. How we manage our negative attitudes can make the difference between confidence versus fear, hope versus despair, mastery versus victimhood, and victory versus defeat. Here are eight negative attitudes of chronically unhappy people...

The 7 Worst Ways to Quit

By Peg Streep on February 16, 2015 in Tech Support
When you leave a situation, a job, or a relationship, what's your quitting style? You will want to avoid all seven of these for sure......

Getting Ready to Get Back Out in the Dating World

Getting ready to date again after your big breakup isn't easy, but it's worth it (and so are you!)

The Anger Technique That's Better Than Anger Management

By Andrea Brandt Ph.D. M.F.T. on February 02, 2015 in Mindful Anger
Anger is an emotional energy that resides in our body-mind until it runs its course. Your anger can teach you about yourself––what's important to you, what your sensitivities are, where your boundaries lie––but you have to listen to it to learn anything.

"What's He Building in There?"—Anatomy of an Irrelationship

In irrelationship, we believe that we doing all the heavy lifting, either by giving, accepting or accommodating. Sooner than later, this creates smoldering resentment and distress on both sides. This disconnect is the result of each partner’s continuing as adults to play care taking roles that they took on toward their caregivers when they were small children.

Do You Have a Disorganized Person in Your Life?

The next time you feel ambushed by a disorganized person in your life, remember that you do have a choice.

6 Tips for Dealing With Passive-Aggressive People

Are you dealing with someone who’s passive-aggressive in your life? Relating to a passive-aggressive person can be a difficult experience, with many moments of frustration, anger, and despair. How can you stay on top of the situation and maintain your equanimity? Here are keys to successfully handle passive-aggressive personal relationships...

How to Create Healthier Anger in Your Children

By Andrea Brandt Ph.D. M.F.T. on January 05, 2015 in Mindful Anger
While telling your child to "stop crying" isn't emotional child abuse per se, your child may still need help with depression, addiction, or other issues later in life. This cycle can be stopped, however, if we learn how to create healthier anger in our kids, and in ourselves.

Lust, Favors and Nepotism: Leadership Promotions Turn Toxic

Lust and who is sleeping with whom unfortunately continues to motivate leadership promotions in some top tier organizations. Add favors and nepotism to the illegitimate promotions list and it is a recipe for grievances, lawsuits and a toxic workplace. In 2015 this carnal and deceitful basis for promotions still slithers forward. I offer insights and remedies.

Your New Year’s Resolution: Put the Phone Away

Are you resolving to be a better person this year? Build a new relationship? Increase your work performance? Enhance your creativity? There's one simple step that can help you achieve all of these things: controlling the distracting devices that are interfering with your goals. Learn why it's important to put your phone away and focus on what matters.

Is Your Relationship Toxic?

You may be in a toxic relationship and not even know it!

Stop Head Games From Destroying Your Love

Make your relationship healthier and make it last by keeping clear of hidden and not-so-hidden head games.

Why Breaking Up is So Hard to Do

By Frances Cohen Praver Ph.D. on December 21, 2014 in Love Doc
T’s the season to be jolly. Yet many of us are not exactly jolly; rather, many of us are feeling sad. Indeed, this may be the season for separating from an unsatisfactory relationship. The end of the year could well signal the end of a hurtful union.

Ten Important Questions You Should Ask a Potential Partner

By Randi Gunther Ph.D. on December 17, 2014 in Rediscovering Love
Many relationships fall apart because the partners don't really know what to expect from each other once they become involved. Knowing what questions to ask early on can quickly pave the way to authentic and heroic mutual understanding.

Don't Give Your Power to Others

By Randi Kreger on December 02, 2014 in Stop Walking on Eggshells
To claim our power means learning to live consciously, taking responsibility for ourselves and choices, building self-esteem, and asking directly for our needs and wants. As we learn to express ourselves honestly and set boundaries and say no, we create safety and mutual respect, allowing our partner to do the same.

The 11 People We Love to Hate at Work

By Steve Albrecht DBA on November 26, 2014 in The Act of Violence
Challenging personality types like psychos, idea killers, and smart slackers can make for a long day on the job.

What's the Best Way to Deal with Sneaky People?

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on November 16, 2014 in Off the Couch
Unfortunately, most of us know someone who acts one way and secretly feels another; who lies or misleads us; who is manipulative, or passive-aggressive. Maybe it’s your “friend” who hugs you and tells you you’re the best, and then badmouths you behind your back. Or a sibling who guilt trips you into things you don't want to do. What's the best way to deal with them?