The Truth About Narcissism

Narcissists cut a wide, swashbuckling figure through the world.  At one end of the self-loving spectrum is the charismatic leader with an excess of charm, whose only vice may be his or her inflated amour-propre. At the far end of the spectrum reside individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, whose grandiosity soars to such heights that they are manipulative and easily angered, especially when they don't receive the attention they consider their birthright. Here's how to figure out whether the big talker in your office really believes his own hype.

Recent Posts on Narcissism

10 Ways to Spot and Cope with Any Narcissist

By Craig Malkin PhD on August 03, 2015 in Romance Redux
Most people, even those narcissistic enough to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, won't strut about insulting you at the start of a relationship. If they did, no one would fall in love with them. In these videos, you'll learn to recognize--and cope--with all forms of narcissism, no matter how subtle they might be.

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Boss

Narcissistic bosses need constant reminders that they are the “best,” the “brightest,” the “richest,” or anything that feels one-up to those around them. If you have such a boss, you will naturally feel miserable. It’s the human response to being treated as an inferior. The trick is to learn how to “manage” this boss, until you can permanently get away from him or her.

Can't Stand Your Self-Absorbed Parent?

By Susan K Perry Ph.D. on July 30, 2015 in Creating in Flow
Got an aging parent or in-law who's a narcissist? They're arrogant, have a sense of entitlement, are always ready to instill guilt, they insist rules don't apply to them, and they fly into a rage if challenged. There's help for you.

The Surprising Shadow Side of a Narcissist

Like the boy Narcissus in the Greek tale, narcissists are in love with their own appearance. They expect others to be mirrors of themselves.

Donald Trump and Our Obsession With Narcissistic Leaders

By Ray Williams on July 28, 2015 in Wired for Success
Americans are obsessed with narcissistic leaders, or at least they have an ambivalence between the ones they like and the ones they promote.

What Narcissists REALLY Want, and Can Never Get

Among other things, narcissists typically come across as arrogant, manipulative, entitled, and woefully lacking in empathy. But if these defining features are understood at a deeper level—as powerful psychological defenses to protect them from experiencing a truly frightening vulnerability—a quite different picture of them emerges. . . .

10 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist

The Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. How do you know when you’re dating a narcissist? Here are ten telltale signs...

Why the Self-Absorbed Are Successful

Two characteristics help self-absorbed people to be successful: a continual focus on personal goals, and a lack of concern for the impact of what they do and say on others.

I, Me, Mine

Americans, as a group, are becoming more individualistic. But what about people in other countries? In collectivist China, for example. Do they also have a Generation Me?

The Narcissism Test

By Craig Malkin PhD on July 21, 2015 in Romance Redux
The Narcissism Test -- What's Your Score?

7 Keys to Handling Difficult Teenagers

It’s not easy when you have to deal with difficult teenagers in your life, whether they are your children, students, athletes, group members, or employees. What can you do in the face of a challenging adolescent? Here are seven keys to successfully handle difficult teenagers...

10 Tips for More Efficient Listening

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on July 16, 2015 in Ambigamy
Better listening isn't more listening, it's listening more efficiently to what's worth heeding, not what's worth ignoring.

Can Abuse Be Invisible?

By Craig Malkin PhD on July 12, 2015 in Romance Redux
All abuse has a legacy. If we want to end emotional abuse, we can start by educating people about what it is and how it works.

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Most of us want to meet and settle down with the “right” person, and most of us want such a relationship to last. At the same time, the majority of romantic partnerships end in dissolution. What are some of the major causes? Here are ten common reasons why relationships fail...

Facebook-Self vs. True-Self: Presenting Contrived Happiness

By Jamie Krenn Ph.D. on July 10, 2015 in Screen Time
The need to have the false-self visible on a digital platform in an unusual trend in parents that has taken shape over the last several years.

Why It’s Hard to Leave Narcissists

By Craig Malkin PhD on July 08, 2015 in Romance Redux
If we decide someone who’s clearly unwilling to change isn’t all that bad simply because we see flashes of genuine caring and tenderness, we’re bound to become mired in confusion. And then we're really stuck. So what's the way out?

The Road Let's Travel: Why David Brooks Should Start a Cult

How does what we say pave the road to character? David Brooks has some words of wisdom.

4 Self-Portraits That Make Us Self-Conscious

We all worry where we stand with others. These four self-portraits, and the gaps between them, provide a map of your self-conscious thoughts.

What I Learned From 2,000 Hours Of Freudian Psychoanalysis

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on July 06, 2015 in Ambigamy
Everything I learned from long psychoanalysis, distilled to nine bullet points. Can you learn it just by reading the list? Probably not but you may be learning it anyway.

What Can You Learn About People from Facebook?

As anyone who uses Facebook knows, different people post updates about different things: Your high school friend sharing photos of her kids, your colleague opining on politics, your friend posting funny animal videos. But what drives people to post what they do? A new study examines how our personality relates to the type of content we present on Facebook.

4 Steps to Leave a Narcissist

By Judith Orloff M.D. on June 30, 2015 in Emotional Freedom
On the surface narcissists can seem charming, intelligent, caring—knowing how to entice and lure their way back into your life. But once they reel you back then they revert to their egotistical selves.

Is High Self-Esteem Bad for You?

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on June 28, 2015 in A Sideways View
Research suggests that the belief that bolstering self-esteem leads to many positive psychological and behavioural consequences may be misguided. Indeed it could have seriously unintended consequences and make matters worse

Stories of Seclusion: A Driven Scientist Suddenly Stops

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on June 25, 2015 in How To Do Life
A brilliant dropout succeeds, makes a million, and throws it away—literally.

Identifying The Next Mass Murderer—Before It’s Too Late

By Joe Navarro M.A. on June 21, 2015 in Spycatcher
We average 20 mass murders a year—what can be done?

What "My Child Won't Cooperate!" Really Means

We often hear parents say, "My child won't do what I ask! He just won't cooperate!" Maybe it's because we are lying to ourselves about what we really want.

Francis Underwood: Classic Sociopath?

An analysis of Francis Underwood from House of Cards.

Sibling Incest in the News

Having worked in the child sexual abuse field for 30 some years, I am continually struck with a sense of sadness when yet another family comes forward with admissions of sibling sexual abuse. Rather than judgment it is important to be aware of treatment and healing options. Jumping to quick labeling without understanding the help needed is dangerous.

Parents Beware

An obsession with ensuring our kids are happy could, paradoxically, create very lonely and depressed adults.

Why Good People Break Bad

The bad can take us by surprise. Our man or woman can act out for no apparent reason. We may find our very own hands in the cookie jar. Why? Why do good people go bad? Find an honest, science-supported answer and learn how to prevent... "breaking bad."

5 Ways to Dial Down Narcissism

By Alice Boyes Ph.D. on June 08, 2015 in In Practice
Yes, you can work on your narcissism.