The Truth About Narcissism

Narcissists cut a wide, swashbuckling figure through the world.  At one end of the self-loving spectrum is the charismatic leader with an excess of charm, whose only vice may be his or her inflated amour-propre. At the far end of the spectrum reside individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, whose grandiosity soars to such heights that they are manipulative and easily angered, especially when they don't receive the attention they consider their birthright. Here's how to figure out whether the big talker in your office really believes his own hype.

Recent Posts on Narcissism

What Happens When a Narcissist's Love Turns Into Rage

No one like being rejected or left, but for narcissistic individuals, a rejection can become the stimulus for a dangerous over-reaction. If you’ve ever been the target of one of these attacks, you know how frightening it can be. Understanding the cause of your ex’s rage can help both of you cope more reasonably.

Are You in Love With a Narcissist and Still Hopeful?

By Peg Streep on September 01, 2015 in Tech Support
It's true enough that most of us hang in far longer than we should in toxic relationships, especially with a narcissistic partner. Some of that has to do with hopefulness that our partner and relationship will change. Is that magical thinking? Looking at recent research....

Political Discourse in the Age of Narcissism

By Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on August 31, 2015 in Shame
In this Age of Narcissism, political discourse increasingly rejects rational thought and respectful argument, relying instead on typical defenses against narcissistic injury -- indignation, blame, and contempt -- to turn the opponent into a "loser."

Why Narcissists Try to Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

It’s never pleasant to be the target of an insult. However, before you let an insulting remark get the better of you, stop and consider who’s doing the insulting. It’s likely that it’s just a narcissist, trying to feel better by making you feel bad.

Quantify Here Now

By Bruce Poulsen Ph.D. on August 24, 2015 in Reality Play
In a culture that places a high value on quantitative self-knowledge, wearable devices obscure as much as they reveal. While no one doubts their potential health benefits, they keep us transfixed on some aspects of our experience while hiding others.

Shy, Sensitive, Introverted…and Narcissistic?

By Linda Esposito LCSW on August 24, 2015 in From Anxiety to Zen
The Shy/Covert Narcissistic personality is overcome with worry, ineffective functioning, unfulfilled expectations, and hypersensitivity to stress.

Yesterday, I Beat a Six Year-Old

I had the bright idea of racing my six year old neice to prove that I was immortal....I'm not

One Simple Way to Protect Yourself from Narcissists

By Craig Malkin PhD on August 19, 2015 in Romance Redux
Narcissistic family members may make you want to run for the hills, but sometimes leaving isn't an option or just causes more problems. Here's an easy alternative.

How Narcissists Wear Out Their Welcome

By Art Markman Ph.D. on August 18, 2015 in Ulterior Motives
Narcissists feed off the energy of the people around them. They crave status and work hard to achieve it. But, do they succeed in getting the status they want? An intriguing possibility is that narcissists don’t actually get status, they just believe that they have status within a group.

Desperate: The Hidden World of Introvert Narcissists

Narcissism is often associated with its many external manifestations. At the same time, psychiatrist Glen Gabbard suggests that some narcissists belong to a subtype that are much more introvert oriented. Here is a comparison of introvert versus extrovert narcissists...

A Workover: Angry at Her Boss

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on August 15, 2015 in How To Do Life
Helping an angry person look at her complaint in full dimension.

The Populist Appeal of Trump's Narcissism

By Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on August 14, 2015 in Shame
To identify yourself as a Trump supporter -- that is, to identify with the man himself on some level -- helps you to feel like a "winner" when you may unconsciously fear that you're a "loser" in this complex and daunting world.

10 Uncommon Tips For Addressing The Self-Esteem Paradox

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on August 11, 2015 in Ambigamy
10 off-the-beaten-path tips for beating your path to sustainable calmfidence--calm confidence in your personal worth.

Four Downsides to Selfies

By Jaime Kurtz Ph.D. on August 10, 2015 in Happy Trails
Is there any downside to selfies?

Criticism, Avoidance, and Negativity: How They Destroy Love?

If these three types of thoughts go on in your head, your relationship may be in peril!

Study Decodes the 5 Types of Facebook Status Updates

Want to know your personality type? A new study says your Facebook page says it all.

What is the Real Link between Selfies and Narcissism?

By Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. on August 06, 2015 in Close Encounters
New research shows that selfies are linked to narcissism in men, but not women, and that some aspects of narcissism are better predictors of selfie-posting than others.

10 Ways to Spot and Cope with Any Narcissist

By Craig Malkin PhD on August 03, 2015 in Romance Redux
Most people, even those narcissistic enough to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, won't strut about insulting you at the start of a relationship. If they did, no one would fall in love with them. In these videos, you'll learn to recognize--and cope--with all forms of narcissism, no matter how subtle they might be.

How to Deal with a Narcissistic Boss

Narcissistic bosses need constant reminders that they are the “best,” the “brightest,” the “richest,” or anything that feels one-up to those around them. If you have such a boss, you will naturally feel miserable. It’s the human response to being treated as an inferior. The trick is to learn how to “manage” this boss, until you can permanently get away from him or her.

Can't Stand Your Self-Absorbed Parent?

By Susan K Perry Ph.D. on July 30, 2015 in Creating in Flow
Got an aging parent or in-law who's a narcissist? They're arrogant, have a sense of entitlement, are always ready to instill guilt, they insist rules don't apply to them, and they fly into a rage if challenged. There's help for you.

The Surprising Shadow Side of a Narcissist

Like the boy Narcissus in the Greek tale, narcissists are in love with their own appearance. They expect others to be mirrors of themselves.

Donald Trump and Our Obsession With Narcissistic Leaders

By Ray Williams on July 28, 2015 in Wired for Success
Americans are obsessed with narcissistic leaders, or at least they have an ambivalence between the ones they like and the ones they promote.

What Really Makes Narcissists Tick?

Among other things, narcissists typically come across as arrogant, manipulative, entitled, and woefully lacking in empathy. But if these defining features are understood at a deeper level—as powerful psychological defenses to protect them from experiencing a truly frightening vulnerability—a quite different picture of them emerges. . . .

10 Signs You’re Dating a Narcissist

The Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. How do you know when you’re dating a narcissist? Here are ten telltale signs...

Why the Self-Absorbed Are Successful

Two characteristics help self-absorbed people to be successful: a continual focus on personal goals, and a lack of concern for the impact of what they do and say on others.

I, Me, Mine

Americans, as a group, are becoming more individualistic. But what about people in other countries? In collectivist China, for example. Do they also have a Generation Me?

The Narcissism Test

By Craig Malkin PhD on July 21, 2015 in Romance Redux
The Narcissism Test -- What's Your Score?

7 Keys to Handling Difficult Teenagers

It’s not easy when you have to deal with difficult teenagers in your life, whether they are your children, students, athletes, group members, or employees. What can you do in the face of a challenging adolescent? Here are seven keys to successfully handle difficult teenagers...

10 Tips for More Efficient Listening

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on July 16, 2015 in Ambigamy
Better listening isn't more listening, it's listening more efficiently to what's worth heeding, not what's worth ignoring.

Can Abuse Be Invisible?

By Craig Malkin PhD on July 12, 2015 in Romance Redux
All abuse has a legacy. If we want to end emotional abuse, we can start by educating people about what it is and how it works.