All About Marriage

Marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Of course, over the course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot happens. Personalities change, bodies age, and romantic love waxes and wanes. And no marriage is free of conflict. What enables a couple to endure is how they handle that conflict. So how do you manage the problems that inevitably arise? And how can you keep the spark alive?

Recent Posts on Marriage

Avoiding Ashley Madison

By Wendy L. Patrick Ph.D. on September 02, 2015 in Why Bad Looks Good
You cannot "spot" a cheater, but you may be able to "detect" one if you know what to look for and where to look.

Life is Short… and so Could Be Your Marriage

By Stan Tatkin Psy.D. on September 01, 2015 in The Puzzle of Love
There is no such thing as “safe” infidelity. Couples who want to stay together need to appreciate the importance of establishing safety and security within their relationship.

This Trait Costs Men Money, but Makes Them Marriage Material

By Jared DeFife Ph.D. on September 01, 2015 in The Shrink Tank
Would you rather have a broke partner or a broken heart?

3 Steps to Decode Your Fight

By Andrea Brandt Ph.D. M.F.T. on September 01, 2015 in Mindful Anger
Are you tired of having the exact same argument with your partner? These three steps can shed a lot of light of your situation.

Seven Tips for Kissing Like You Mean It

By Jennifer Haupt on August 31, 2015 in One True Thing
My husband of 25 years and I recently attended Kissing School, the brainchild of Seattle psychotherapist Cherie Byrd. Here's what we learned after seven hours of smoothing.

For the Sake of the Children

By Mel Schwartz L.C.S.W. on August 31, 2015 in A Shift of Mind
Many people in unhappy or conflicted marriages stay together for the purported sake of the children. This article examines this premise and explores what's really best for our children.

5 Signs Your Spouse is a Bully

Many bullies are acquaintances from school or the workplace, or complete strangers who get off on bullying others, but bullying behavior can also occur in close relationships.

I Was On Ashley Madison

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on August 29, 2015 in Minority Report
You are on the Ashley Madison list and the pit of your stomach is churning. You may experience shortness of breath, dizziness, or loss of concentration. Your double life is over and exposed (at least to those who have the list) now you're wonder if you should double-down and continue to lie or face significant consequences for sharing the truth. But where do you start?

The Crucial Factor in Making Real Change in Your Life

Disrupting just one unskillful behavior, for instance using silence to punish, or making critical, judgmental remarks, or being bossy by giving commands, can lead to a whole series of positive shifts.

Women Initiate Divorce Much More Than Men, Here's Why

By Douglas LaBier Ph.D. on August 28, 2015 in The New Resilience
Women are much more likely than men to initiate divorce, according to survey of over 2000 heterosexual couples. The reasons point to unfulfilled desire for intimacy and emotional connection with their husbands during the course of marriage; while men report contentment with the way things are.

Intimate Relationship Dynamics

They worst thing your partner says goes into long-term memory; the worst thing you say does not. Natural selection favored recording injury we suffer more than injury we inflict.

Sorry, I Can’t Fix Your Clueless Husband

By Jared DeFife Ph.D. on August 27, 2015 in The Shrink Tank
What can you do if your husband won't get marriage counseling? More than you think.

Is Your Relationship Growing or Diminishing Your Real Self?

By Peg Streep on August 26, 2015 in Tech Support
We connect with others in part to validate our sense of who we are but why is it that, sometimes--more often than we'd like--the close connections we forge make us feel "less than" instead of "more than." A close look at the perils and rewards of interdependence....

Abuse That’s Hard to Recognize: Coercive Control

Recognize abusive control in relationships

How to be a Groomsgal

Marriage equality is not just for "the gays." Wedding ceremonies and customs are evolving for all couples.

Limiting Abortion to Healthy Fetuses?

By Marty Klein PhD on August 24, 2015 in Sexual Intelligence
To make a point, states are criminalizing abortions that don't exist.

5 Surprising Reasons Relationships Fail

Much has been written about reasons why relationships fail. Incompatibility, different priorities, and poor communication are just a few of the causes of relational dissolution. At the same time, there are some couple characteristics which, although seemingly positive at first, can ruin a relationship down the line. Here are five surprising reasons relationships fail...

Great Relationships Require Hard Work, But Not Forever

Relationships, we think, should not have to be this hard. Well, that’s true. They shouldn’t be relentlessly difficult, at least not on a permanent basis, otherwise who, other than a masochist would consciously choose to live in a state of perpetual struggle.

Why Some People Are Just as Happy Being Single

By Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. on August 21, 2015 in Close Encounters
Much research has suggested that married people are happier than singles, but it’s not clear if marriage actually makes people happy, and it isn’t always the case that marriage is related to greater happiness. New research shows how the goals we have in our relationships are tied to whether or not we’re happier when we’re coupled.

The World's Most Expensive Sunglasses

If you lose some of your sunglasses, you might be happier.

"Pink Viagra"—No It Isn't

By Marty Klein PhD on August 21, 2015 in Sexual Intelligence
FDA approves Flibanserin—and the search for sexual desire continues.

Sometimes I Hate Him

By Joseph A Shrand M.D. on August 21, 2015 in The I-M Approach
The I-M Approach is a strength based model of radical acceptance applied as easily to psychiatry and addiction as to every day life. This is the first of a series of stories inviting discussion from the readers about this model of care and approach to life in general. It is based on our human desire to be valued, and what can happen when we worry that we are not.

The Same Old You, the Same Old Us

By Bernard L. De Koven on August 21, 2015 in On Having Fun
I think, my love, that this is the gift we give to each other getting old together. Me, being this old self – the self that I always was – with you the same old you that I so thoroughly fell in love with: we becoming evermore so totally in play.

The Importance of Sex While Raising The Special Needs Child

By Lisa Thomas LMFT on August 19, 2015 in Save Your Sex Life
Sex & Raising The Special Needs Child

Your Lady Says You’re Cheating, You Say No Way! Who’s Right?

After more than two decades as a psychotherapist specializing in human sexuality and intimacy, I’ve heard just about every excuse imaginable related to infidelity, especially from the men I have seen.

Do You Have Trouble With Intimacy? If So, You're Not Alone

By Peg Streep on August 18, 2015 in Tech Support
What constitutes emotional closeness? Well, it all depends on your needs, desire, and capacity. Looking at matches and mismatches in friendship and love and why intimacy can be so darn elusive.

Can You Really Sue Someone for Breaking Up With You?

By Ruth Lee Johnson J.D. on August 18, 2015 in So Sue Me
Surprisingly, the answer may be yes! It is a little-known fact, but some states still allow lawsuits for "breach of promise" or "breach of contract to marry." In these states, you can actually sue your ex for breaking up with you if, during your relationship, he or she promised to marry you.

Snacking on Single People – Such Yummy Stereotypes!

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on August 16, 2015 in Living Single
An article about American snacking put the blame for bad eating habits on "lonely single people." Just about every single thing that was stated or implied about single people in that article was unsubstantiated, misleading, egregiously derogatory, or just plain wrong.

Is He The One?

Is he the right person for you? Is she?

Consider These Terms of Engagement Before Your Next Argument

Remember that it’s not the differences themselves that damage the fabric of trust and respect in relationships, but the unskillful ways in which we react to them that do the most harm.