All About Marriage

Marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Of course, over the course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot happens. Personalities change, bodies age, and romantic love waxes and wanes. And no marriage is free of conflict. What enables a couple to endure is how they handle that conflict. So how do you manage the problems that inevitably arise? And how can you keep the spark alive?

Recent Posts on Marriage

Unbroken by Divorce: 5 Rules of Resilience

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on May 04, 2015 in Living Single
There are big differences among people in how well they do after getting divorced. A recent review article suggested 5 ways that resilient people differ from those who have the hardest time.

The Six "Caring Words" that Block Intimacy

You want to empathize. But these six words can leave your partner, friend, or sister feeling terribly alone.

Number One Secret to Getting Communication Unstuck?

By Marty Babits on May 01, 2015 in The Middle Ground
Number One Secret to Getting Communication Unstuck?

Do Alzheimer's Patients Have the Right to Say Yes to Sex?

The right to love is considered to be an essential human right; however, one exception that often prevails is in cases of Alzheimer’s patients. The case of Henry Rayhons, who was charged with sexually abusing his wife Donna, is such a striking example; Can people who are unable to recognize their own children give their sound sexual consent?

Wife Swapping in the Stone Age

By Nigel Barber Ph.D. on April 29, 2015 in The Human Beast
Anthropologists are all too familiar with the violence and bloodshed triggered by marital infidelity. Now they are coming to terms with a more mysterious phenomenon—consensual wife sharing. If a man flies into homicidal rages when his wife cheats on him, why would he encourage another man to sleep with her?

Moving Past Anger in Divorce

By Wendy Paris on April 28, 2015 in Splitopia
Anger is a backward-looking emotion. It can keep you trapped in the past you no longer have. Moving on can mean moving past anger.

5 Steps to End a Toxic Relationship

By Rosemary K.M. Sword on April 27, 2015 in The Time Cure
The tendency to unconsciously seek out toxic relationships frequently starts with past negative experiences when we are children and might carry on throughout our lives. They can become so deeply ingrained in the way we think and feel that we don’t realize we are steeped in toxicity...

Should You Think Twice Before Moving In With a Partner?

Test-driving a relationship by moving in together before marriage seems like the cautious thing to do. But couples who live together prior to marriage are at higher risk for relationship troubles and divorce. Why do these relationships falter and how can you avoid possible negative effects of premarital cohabitation?

Rocky Partnership? Here's How To Decide What To Do.

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on April 22, 2015 in Ambigamy
Compatibilities are easy. They're the free space on the bingo board of love. The incompatibilities will get you if you don't manage them well. Here's a quick but powerful test for inventorying the incompatibilities.

6 Reasons Nice People Can Hurt Your Feelings

Are your feelings easily hurt? These tips can take the sting out of the thoughtless things people can say.

Choosing to Be Child-free

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on April 21, 2015 in A Sideways View
More and more people in the west are choosing not to have children. Is this a puzzle for evolutionary psychologists? What does the research say on this topic?

Backward America

By Ken Eisold Ph.D. on April 20, 2015 in Hidden Motives
Do we just take it for granted that the U.S. is the best at everything? We don’t seem to notice how bad things really are or how much better off other countries are in ways we used to excel.

Why I Can't..... or Why Can't I?

Our beliefs and thoughts impact our lives more than any relationship.It would be wise to evaluate how we came to them and whether they truly serve us.

When Your Personal, Private Choices Enrage Others

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on April 18, 2015 in Living Single
Why do perfect strangers react to some of our most personal choices with anger and attempts to stigmatize us for them? "Otherhood" author Melanie Notkin, historian Elaine Tyler May, environmentalist Bill McKibben, "Childless by Choice" project director Laura S. Scott, and I share our thoughts about the matter.

What Causes You Inner Turmoil?

Being in heated conflict not with others but with yourself can—let’s face it—be agonizing. To be split down the middle, to endlessly waver between two (and sometimes more) options, can at its worst be almost unimaginably distressing. Obsessive to an extreme, it can lead to a paralysis of will (not to mention, much lost sleep). . . .

Harming the Innocent to Punish the Guilty

By Peter Toohey on April 16, 2015 in Annals of the Emotions
There are three harrowing stories here, one modern concerning Katherine Knight, and two from Greek mythology concerning Procne and Atreus. Mental derangement, jealousy and resentment, and profoundly dysfunctional families are at the heart of the cannibalistic stories. They dramatize the harm that is inflicted on the innocent in order to punish the apparently guilty.

Ruling Against V. Stiviano Sets Dangerous Precedence

By Robin Sax on April 16, 2015 in Crime Time
Judge Richard Fruin got it wrong when he ruled for Shelly Sterling. This case not only sets dangerous precedence but it allows the real wrong-doer, Donald Sterling, to avoid accountability.

Are Your Worst Nightmares Also Everyone Else's?

By E E Smith on April 16, 2015 in Not Born Yesterday
They are the grim subject of several centuries-old paintings, in which a black horse (or "night mare") hovers near a sleeping figure. They have been the terrifying theme of movies, past and present––from "I Wake Up Screaming" (1941), to the latest "Nightmare on Elm Street" flick. So, what exactly is a nightmare?

Women’s Pay Gap: Is it Children, Expectations, or Feminism?

It's time for the power structure of corporate and political America to better accommodate women and their families.

Hire an Au Pair? Help Yourself; Help Her; and Help the World

So many moms, and dads as well now, have too much to do with juggling work and home life. Ever thought your family could use a nanny? A nanny may also need you!

Why Cuddling Is So Crucial

By Michael Castleman M.A. on April 15, 2015 in All About Sex
As post-sex cuddling increases, so does sexual and relationship satisfaction.

4 Ways to Disarm Jealousy

Obsessive thinking is inevitably inaccurate.

The New Sexual Revolution Is the Sexual Healing Movement

The entire sexual recovery movement and growing number of therapists and centers devoted to sexual healing is at the forefront of a new wave of sexual liberation.

Navigating Through Your Divorce

By Angie Hallier on April 14, 2015 in Life After Divorce
Steps towards coping with divorce

10 Signs of True Love

Two selfish creatures committing to a life partnership need an ironic frame.

4 Ways That Breaking Up Could Improve a Relationship

By Wendy Paris on April 14, 2015 in Splitopia
Many people assume that since hate is the opposite of love, discord must be the opposite of marriage. But some former couples get along better unmarried. Four reasons why this might be true.

Do Most People Fit in Liberal and Conservative Boxes?

With so much talk of liberals and conservatives, it's tempting to think the labels really do capture public opinion. But it's not so simple, not even close.

How To Change Your Life

By Sheila Kohler on April 12, 2015 in Dreaming for Freud
Change, which is so difficult to achieve in life and to portray in literature is often brought about by a catalyst, a stranger, who comes into our lives and makes us see ourselves in a different and perhaps more truthful light.

Why Stress Rules Our Lives

By Steven Mintz Ph.D. on April 12, 2015 in The Prime of Life
Why today's adults feel more stress than did their predecessors -- and the lessons that we might learn from the past to better cope with our life stresses.