Understanding Jealousy

Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses many different kinds of feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. Jealousy can strike both men and women when a third-party threat to a valued relationship is perceived, it can be a problem among siblings competing for parental attention, or envy after a more successful friend. Conventional wisdom holds that jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds, but jealously usually does more harm than good, creating relationship conflict and strife.

Recent posts on Jealousy

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What "Make America Great Again" Means

By Karen L Smith MSS, LCSW on August 27, 2016 in Full Living
In this political climate, and with this upcoming election, judging/mocking/shaming/hating/spewing isn’t going to get us an America that embraces and supports all its citizenry.

Sibling Rivalry

By Roberta Satow Ph.D. on August 10, 2016 in Life After 50
Is sibling rivalry inevitable? What can parents do to minimize it?

Cheating and Consensual Non-Monogamy

People can cheat before, during, and after consensual non-monogamous relationships. This cheating can be emotional and/or physical, involving lying or broken safer sex agreements.

The Opposite of Jealousy

By Isadora Alman MFT, CST on August 03, 2016 in Sex & Sociability
Is jealousy a natural part of a romantic or sexual relationship? It doesn't have to be.

Competing for Love

By Roberta Satow Ph.D. on July 27, 2016 in Life After 50
Is competition for your adult children's love making you miserable? Managing competitive feelings without acting on them can be a major challenge.

Are you Facebook Official?

By Martin Graff Ph.D. on July 17, 2016 in Love, Digitally
Social networking has increased the propensity for jealousy. Females desire a degree of approval from others and tend to define themselves in terms of others.

Does Jealousy Help or Hurt Your Relationship?

By David Ludden Ph.D. on July 13, 2016 in Talking Apes
An expression of jealousy can either increase or decrease your partner’s relationship satisfaction, depending on the circumstances.

Other People's Great Vacations Don't Have to Get to You

When you’re stuck at home or in the office while others flaunt their fabulous journeys around the world, it can be tough. This will help you get over your case of vacation envy.

5 Ways to Tell If Your Relationship Is Built to Last

Are you riddled with angst over whether or not all is well and secure in your romantic partnership? Here are five ways to help determine if you need to let this relationship go.

Myth: My Jealousy Shows How Much I Love My Partner

You have betrayed me. You have ruined our beautiful world.
Notorious USA

Sibling Rivals and Murder Games

A unique case in the annals of serial murder will finally get a broader audience.

Got Loyalty?

Demonstrating loyalty in all the possible ways we can think of is a direct and mighty way to strengthen the bond.

Polyamorous Relationships and Their Obstacles

Two of the main challenges in poly relationships are exactly those ideals that these groups strive toward: equality and feeling joy knowing your beloved has sex with someone else

Why Would Anybody Engage in Polyamory?

Does polyamory seem confusing and weird? Well, you'll be surprised at what the research shows about it!

When You Date 'Out of Your League'

Want to be in a relationship that lasts? You may want to consider a partner close to your own level of attractiveness. Here's why.
Fabiana Ponzi/Shutterstock

What It Means When You Have a Bad Dream About Your Partner

By Michelle Carr on May 31, 2016 in Dream Factory
Dreaming of infidelity and jealousy can increase conflict and decrease intimacy with your partner the following day.
“Red Traffic Light”/David Lofink/CC By 2.0

10 Troubling Red-Flag Behaviors in a Relationship

By Ryan Brown Ph.D. on May 31, 2016 in Honor Bound
Have you experienced any of these troubling behaviors in your relationship? Don't let culture increase the odds and camouflage the danger.

Sexual Jealousy or Emotional Jealousy?

Women and men both produce testosterone. Is there a difference in production levels when a romantic rival enters the picture?

Should You Be Checking Your Partner's Texts?

By Martin Graff Ph.D. on May 17, 2016 in Love, Digitally
Checking the messages on your partner's phone is going to make you jealous.
Sagarin, B. J., Martin, A. L., Coutinho, S. A., Edlund, J. E., Patel, L., Skowronski, J. J., & Zengel, B. (2012). Sex differences in jealousy: A meta-analytic examination. Evolution and Human Behavior, 33, 595-614.

Sex Differences in Romantic Jealousy: Evolved or Illusory?

Sex differences in jealousy: Evolved or illusory?

Professional Jealousy

By Eliezer Sobel on May 03, 2016 in The 99th Monkey
I know I speak for hordes of writers when I say, “What am I, the chopped liver of our generation?”

Sigmund Freud Had Penis Envy

May 6th is Sigmund Freud's 160th birthday. Let's start the celebration with some secrets. Freud had plenty.

3 Tools to Dissolve Sibling Jealousy

Since all "misbehavior" is driven by upset feelings or unmet needs, the real work here is helping the child resolve feelings that are triggering his aggression.

10 Tips to Protect Yourself From Cyberstalking

Cyberstalking is a quickly escalating problem that’s more likely to occur in an addictive personality. It's important to be careful with how you conduct your romantic life online.

Why Women Can't Accept Compliments

By Jen Kim on March 29, 2016 in Valley Girl With a Brain
Don't know how to say 'thank you' when someone says something nice? Here's why.

Victimology: The New Way to Play the Blame Game

By William R. Klemm Ph.D. on March 29, 2016 in Memory Medic
The need to walk on eggshells in social interactions makes us isolate ourselves into enclaves of like-minded people.

Open? Poly? Beyond Affairs and Cheating

By Marty Klein PhD on March 28, 2016 in Sexual Intelligence
"Open" and "poly" relationship arrangements have a lot to offer--and they're complicated.

Schadenfreude: The Joy in Seeing Others Fail.

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on March 19, 2016 in A Sideways View
Some people experience more pleasure from seeing others fail than themselves succeeding. Is it healthy? Is this just envy and jealousy

Harbaugh's Coaching Genius Strikes Again

By Billi Gordon Ph.D. on March 06, 2016 in Obesely Speaking
Jim Harbaugh is thinking outside of the box, while the rest of college football is just realizing there is a box.

Five Strategies to Manage Jealousy

This blog presents five strategies for dealing with jealousy, from the three D's to sources to get support.