Understanding Jealousy

Jealousy is a complex emotion that encompasses many different kinds of feelings that range from fear of abandonment to rage to humiliation. Jealousy can strike both men and women when they perceive a third-party threat to a valued relationship, it can be a problem among siblings competing for parental attention, or envy for a wealthier more successful friend. Conventional wisdom holds that jealousy is a necessary emotion because it preserves social bonds. But jealously usually does more harm than good to relationships, and can create relationship conflict and violence.

Recent Posts on Jealousy

Should You Write With a Partner?

By Dennis Palumbo on February 25, 2015 in Hollywood on the Couch
Learn the pros and cons of writing with a partner.

Tossing the Soap

By Judith E Glaser on February 22, 2015 in Conversational Intelligence
When you are playing at Level III you are at the top of your game – in fact you expand the game beyond the obvious – stretching your ‘toss’ to reach farther with others – opening the space for better tosses and better adjustments as you co-create for mutual success.

Who Was George Washington?

By Gregg Henriques on February 22, 2015 in Theory of Knowledge
An analysis of George Washington's character and relational strivings on what would have been his 283rd birthday.

8 Negative Attitudes of Chronically Unhappy People

All of us experience negative thoughts from time to time. How we manage our negative attitudes can make the difference between confidence versus fear, hope versus despair, mastery versus victimhood, and victory versus defeat. Here are eight negative attitudes of chronically unhappy people...

The Jews Are Going Extinct

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on February 21, 2015 in How To Do Life
Why that’s bad, why it’s coming, and how to stop it.

Emotions As a Second Language - Or Should They Be Our First?

Emotional literacy is being able to feel and identify one’s feeling states. This fluency enhances emotional self-regulation, lessens over-reactivity to negative emotions such as anger, and is the basis of interpersonal emotional modulation.

Jealousy in Street Art

By Peter Toohey on February 19, 2015 in Annals of the Emotions
Does jealousy have a role in street art? Can it help to keep things fair?

Why Are This Divorcee's Friendships Eroding?

By Irene S Levine Ph.D. on February 18, 2015 in The Friendship Doctor
I recently started a relationship and my boyfriend who just moved in with me. I have never ignored my friends but they have pulled back from me and two even stopped talking to me altogether.

Why Does the Fifty Shades Movie Look Like Domestic Abuse?

By Stephen Snyder M.D. on February 16, 2015 in SexualityToday
In the theater, I realized that the idea of Fifty Shades just being fantasy and therefore innocuous doesn't completely work. Some of the fantasy on-screen struck me as too close to the things people put up with in real life.

How did "the Gossip" Become a Woman?

By Frank T McAndrew Ph.D. on February 14, 2015 in Out of the Ooze
Although everyone seems to detest a person who is known as a “gossip” and few people would use that label to describe themselves, it is an exceedingly unusual individual, male OR female, who can walk away from a juicy story about one of his or her acquaintances. So, how did gossip become thought of as a primarily female activity?

The Psychology of Dreaming

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on February 13, 2015 in A Sideways View
Is the psychology of dreaming a forgotten backwater? There are many claims made about how, when and why to interpret dreams but are they true?

Love and Love-Ability

By Ann Smith on February 11, 2015 in Healthy Connections
Being love-able means that I am able to be loved, able to make a conscious choice about who I want to love, and accept love when it is offered.

The Doomsday Clock and Me

By Judith Eve Lipton M.D. on February 07, 2015 in Pura Vida
The hands of the Doomsday Clock are now at 3 minutes to midnight. This means that famous scientists think that the threat of global extinction is as close as it was during the Cold War. Nuclear weapons modernization, global warming, and international tensions have created this threat. The only sane response is to work to abolish nuclear weapons, and reduce global warming.

5 Ways to Get Your Unwanted Emotions Under Control

Being able to control your emotions is key to your happiness as well as your relationships. With these 5 strategies, you’ll be able to feel better and react more effectively to challenges both large and small.

10 Essential Parenting Tips From the New England Patriots

By Kate Roberts Ph.D. on February 06, 2015 in Savvy Parenting
The New England Patriots' behavior during the pre-Superbowl deflategate scandal can be applauded and emulated. How people respond under the pressure of scrutiny and stress often defines true character. 10 ten take aways for parents will help them guide their children to a better outcome when the stress is unavoidable.

Childhood Trauma and Masturbation

Often when a child undergoes abuse or trauma there are not sufficient outlets for all the rage, despair and grief that results from the betrayal. Masturbation is one of the most accessible and available forms of numbing out, because you rely only on your own body to produce the intoxicating chemicals that soothe the pain.

Facebook 101: Smart Social Media for College Students

By Lisa Rivero M.A. on February 06, 2015 in Creative Synthesis
How, not whether, to use Facebook and other social networking sites may be key to improving college students' emotional well-being.

The Surprising Psychology of BDSM

‘Fifty Shades’ piqued your curiosity? Answers to five kinky questions.

What's the Sexiest Thing About Fifty Shades of Grey?

By Stephen Snyder M.D. on February 05, 2015 in SexualityToday
For most men, a beautiful woman's body is an immediate turn-on. For most women, the response to a man's body isn't quite so automatic. But if in addition to having nice arms, he also has that aforementioned high-end stainless steel kitchen with a view of downtown Seattle, then things might get interesting.

Don’t Fool Yourself: Use Technology Intentionally

By Christine L Carter Ph.D. on February 04, 2015 in Raising Happiness
Social media can stress us out—or help us feel love and connection. The key is to understand their impact and use them strategically.

The Unjealous Friend

By Judith Coche Ph.D., ABPP on February 03, 2015 in No Ordinary Life
Research informs us that generosity of spirit is a key quality for happy people. Join us as we celebrate the accomplishments of my oft awarded friend, Afaf.

The Anger Technique That's Better Than Anger Management

By Andrea Brandt Ph.D. M.F.T. on February 02, 2015 in Mindful Anger
Anger is an emotional energy that resides in our body-mind until it runs its course. Your anger can teach you about yourself––what's important to you, what your sensitivities are, where your boundaries lie––but you have to listen to it to learn anything.

The "Precarious Manhood" of the Santa Barbara Shooter

By Frank T McAndrew Ph.D. on February 02, 2015 in Out of the Ooze
Each new mass shooting prompts the same old explanations for the tragedy: the lack of attention paid to mental illness, the easy availability of guns, misogyny, and a socially-sanctioned sense of male entitlement. These explanations dance around the BIG question, which is why is it always a man who does this, and why is it almost always a young man?

8 Types of Toxic Patterns in Mother-Daughter Relationships

By Peg Streep on February 02, 2015 in Tech Support
The legacy of an unloving mother requires patience and stamina to overcome. But within the common themes, there are still important differences.

Avoiding Comparisons and the Conquest of Happiness

By Richard Smith Ph.D. on February 01, 2015 in Joy and Pain
Bertrand Russell had many suggestions for how to achieve happiness. Avoid comparisons was one. Comparisons cause the good things in life to seem paltry and unworthy of our enjoyment. What a needless shame.

The Upside of Envy

Envy is the universal emotion no one seems to have. We're all too ashamed of it to discuss it with others and sometimes even to admit it to ourselves. Blogger Josh Gressel takes the plunge and describes an incident of his own envy as a way to practice what he wants to teach: that we need to get more comfortable with our envy so that we can learn from it.

Your Guide to Psychotherapy Options

Psychotherapy is not a 'one size fits all.' Different diagnoses and personality styles may fit better with different therapeutic modalities. This blog is designed to help you better understand some of the most commonly used (and empirically validated) techniques.

Day 27: Releasing Grudges

How holding grudges can become a "distraction addiction" and harm our mental health

Sexual Exploitation of Minors or Adolescents

By Ana Nogales on January 28, 2015 in Family Secrets
One in three young people who live on the streets are subjected to sex slavery upon only their first day of being homeless alone.

Top Ten Career Tips for Starting Out

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on January 28, 2015 in How To Do Life
Keys to career success for new graduates or people changing careers.