What Is Infidelity?

Infidelity is breaking a promise to remain faithful to a sexual partner. That promise can take many forms, from marriage vows sanctified by the state to privately uttered verbal agreements between lovers. As unthinkable as the notion of breaking such bonds may be, infidelity is common. And when it does happen, it raises thorny and painful questions. Should you stay? Can trust be rebuilt? Can you and should you forgive and move on?

Recent posts on Infidelity

What NOT to Do When You Discover Your Partner Is Cheating

Here are 5 ways to NOT react when you discover your partner is cheating on you.

Marital Infidelity: Existential Uncertainty in Spades

By Susan Rako M.D. on February 18, 2017 in More Light
"How can I ever trust my husband/wife again?"

Why Gaslighters Accuse You of Gaslighting

Gaslighters frequently accuse their victims of manipulating, cheating, and being addicted. Why do gaslighters do this, and why does this tactic work so well?
freestocks.org, used with permission

Men Understanding Women Understanding Men

By Rob Whitley, Ph.D. on February 10, 2017 in Talking About Men
Many romantic relationships flounder on minor misunderstandings, which can often escalate into full-scale crises. What can be done to diminish such misunderstandings?

How the Little Things Make or Break a Relationship

Paying attention to the small things can make a big difference in your relationship. Here's why.

Facts and Fictions About Men and Sex

By Madeleine A Fugère Ph.D. on February 02, 2017 in Dating and Mating
Do men and women really differ in their sexual desires? Many of our beliefs about men and sex are surprisingly tenuous.

Are Thoughts of Your Ex's Past Lovers Still Haunting You?

Why is it so painful to think about your ex's sexual encounters, when you won them back in the end? Read along for five possible reasons that your heart is still aching.

Good Divorce Advice: Resist the Urge to Compare

By Wendy Paris on January 17, 2017 in Splitopia
It can be hard to avoid negative self-comparison, but you want to remain focused on your own path.

This One Behavior Can Increase Your Risk of Cheating

There is, in fact, a dark side to traveling abroad.

8 Reasons Why Your Partner Is Having or Had An Affair

By Barbara Greenberg Ph.D. on January 09, 2017 in The Teen Doctor
8 ways to understand the betrayal of infidelity

Screw Monogamy? Not So Fast.

By Michele Weiner-Davis MSW on January 02, 2017 in Divorce Busting
Has monogamy outlived its usefulness as an institution?

The Misleading “Sexual Addiction” Label

The term “sexual addiction” carries misconceptions that can lead client and therapist down the wrong road

Recovering From Infidelity Part 4

The 40 repair steps one committed couple used for success.

Why Do Women Put Up With Infidelity?

By Sheila Kohler on January 01, 2017 in Dreaming for Freud
What we can we learn about infidelity from "Jackie."

Can You Ever Affair-Proof a Relationship?

When we hold our partner responsible for taking away our loneliness and making us happy, she will be likely to feel turned off by our efforts to coerce attention from her.

Recovery From Infidelity Part 3

In the investigation that Simon and Davey embarked upon, they looked into the contributing factors that led to their infidelities.

How to Tell Others You're Getting Divorced

By Wendy Paris on December 27, 2016 in Splitopia
Perfect your "divorce elevator speech" with these five tips.

Recovery From Infidelity Part 2

This is the story of Simon and Davey, a story of broken trust due to affairs on both their parts.

Taking Care of the WE

By Alexandra Solomon Ph.D. on December 15, 2016 in Loving Bravely
Thinking about making a New Year's resolution? Here are 6 reasons why you should prioritize the health of your romantic relationship and ring in the new year with couples therapy.

Recovery from Betrayal and Infidelity Part I

We’ve lost count of the number of times that we have heard from those who have been unfaithful in their partnerships, that “if I’d known then what I know now..."

Cheat to Keep or Cheat to Reap?

By Alain Samson Ph.D. on November 29, 2016 in Consumed
Are people more likely to behave unethically to avoid falling behind or to get ahead? New research has the answer.

Sexual Infidelity: The Post-Discovery Longer-Term Aftermath

After you discover your partner's infidelity, this is what you should expect to feel and deal with during the next weeks or months.

Infidelity, Open Relationships, and Polyamory

Some romantic partners are convinced that they can provide everything the other person needs. Not so.

Low Man on the Totem Pole—A Husband’s Lament

If your husband is grumbling about being low man on the totem pole, you need to take it seriously because it makes him vulnerable.

Sexual Infidelity: The Post-Discovery Short-Term Aftermath

What happens when you find out your partner cheated?

Jealousy as a Narcissistic Wound

A psychological state that feels like jealousy to one person may not feel like jealousy to another.

Cheating? But It Was Just a Webcam!

As our lives have become increasingly digital, the once-clear line between monogamy and infidelity has blurred.

Men’s Infidelity Support Group

By Marty Babits on October 05, 2016 in The Middle Ground
One way or another the pain of infidelity must be dealt with. For some, a support group is the best way to move forward.

Why Secrets Can Ruin Relationships

Being honest and emotionally vulnerable by not keeping secrets in a romantic relationship is a form of both personal and relationship integrity.

Anthony Weiner Is Not a Sex Addict, Neither Is Anyone Else

By Joye Swan Ph.D. on September 08, 2016 in Up Close and Personal
"Sex addiction" doesn't pass muster in medical research, but you'd never know it by those benefiting from keeping it in the public discourse.