Guilt and its handmaiden, shame, can paralyze––or catalyze one into action. Appropriate guilt can function as social glue, spurring one to make reparations for wrongs. Excessive rumination about one's failures, however, is a surefire recipe for resentment and depression.

Recent Posts on Guilt

Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors

By The Book Brigade on March 02, 2015 in The Author Speaks
The millions of teens and adults who engage in self-destructive behavior do so because they never learned more constructive ways of soothing themselves in moments of distress. Many have engaged in such behaviors for so long that they can't envision a way out. But it's possible to replace self-destructive acts with kinder means of coping.

The Borderline Mother II

A borderline mother can you hurt a child (even an adult child) in the blink of an eye. Here's what happens and how you can respond.

Our Evolving Black American Naming Traditions

Understanding the meaning and origin of names provides important social clues, spiritual insight, and understanding.

Finding "The One" Is Overrated: Emotionships Matter More

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on March 01, 2015 in Living Single
New research shows the power of having different people in your life who are good at helping you with different kinds of emotions. People with a diverse portfolio of "emotionships" are more satisfied with their lives. People who put all their emotional eggs into one relationship basket get celebrated by all the sappy love songs but they are not necessarily better off.

8 Warning Signs Your Lover is a Narcissist

The Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration." How do you know when your romantic partner may be a narcissist? Here are eight telltale signs...

Blaming the Victim

By William R. Klemm Ph.D. on February 28, 2015 in Memory Medic
"What did we do to make them hate us so much?"

Intimate Partner Abuse: Walk Away Before the Cycle Starts

We should never live in fear of the people who say they love us.

Schizophrenia and Violence, Part II

By Betsy Seifter Ph.D. on February 27, 2015 in After the Diagnosis
The insanity defense fails again, but mentally ill offenders need treatment, not punishment.

A Mother's Love: Myths, Misconceptions, and Truths

By Peg Streep on February 26, 2015 in Tech Support
Commonly held ideas about motherhood shape the dialogue we have culturally, get in the way of understanding parent-child conflict, and affect each of us individually by setting a high and sometimes impossible standard. Why it's time to banish some of the myths that animate the discussion and start a new conversation.

Red vs. Blue: Which Should You Choose?

By Jamie Madigan Ph.D. on February 26, 2015 in Mind Games
Has anyone ever done research on whether playing on the red team or the blue gives one a mental edge in games? Yep.

"Falling" Into Crime?

Crime is a matter of choice.

Mothers, Daughters and Food

By Zanthe Taylor M.F.A. on February 25, 2015 in A Million Meals
It seems especially cruel and strange that mothers often pass down a legacy of self-hatred, guilt and shame to the very children for whom they would otherwise lay down their own lives.

Malignant Narcissism and the Murder of a Parent

By Carrie Barron M.D. on February 24, 2015 in The Creativity Cure
This blog explores Malignant Narcissism and the damaging impact that it can have on family members and others.

Stars In Their Eyes

By Mark D. Griffiths Ph.D. on February 24, 2015 in In Excess
Celebriphilia has been defined as “an intense desire to have a romantic relationship with a celebrity” and shares many similarities with celebrity stalking. It is also a completely modern, man-made phenomenon. But what do we know about celebriphilia?

Traveling Through Time

By Dr. Jenni Ogden Ph.D. on February 23, 2015 in Trouble in Mind
Our ability to mentally travel back and forward in time gives us our sense of self and enhances our lives and coping abilities in many ways.

Addicted to Busy: 4 Strategies to Ease the Guilt & Burnout

Keeping busy at all costs is the cultural status quo, but the drive to do more is impacting our families, our work, and our health. The result of being Addicted to Busy is not only a lack of time, but also exhaustion, anxiety, guilt, fear, social comparison, inauthenticity and physical illness.

How Mass Murder and Serial Murder Differ

By Scott A. Bonn Ph.D. on February 23, 2015 in Wicked Deeds
A mass murder often occurs when the perpetrator, who may be deeply troubled, strikes out in a blitz-like attack. Unlike serial killers, mass murderers are often killed at the scene of the crime. They do not plan to escape and kill another day like their serial killer counterparts who are addicted to murder.

“Islamic Extremism” vs “Violent Extremism”

Some refuse to use the term "Islamic Extremists" to describe the terrorist group, ISIS, calling them "Violent Extremists." By attributing cause and accountability, we are better able to define who they are, delineate their mission and goals, and derive solutions to stop them. Naming them DOES NOT blame, or indict non-violent Muslims - not guilt by religious association.

Emotions As a Second Language - Or Should They Be Our First?

Emotional literacy is being able to feel and identify one’s feeling states. This fluency enhances emotional self-regulation, lessens over-reactivity to negative emotions such as anger, and is the basis of interpersonal emotional modulation.

How to Break the Bonds of Victimhood and Build Self-Esteem

By Clifford N. Lazarus Ph.D. on February 18, 2015 in Think Well
Here are two simple ways to feel more in control of your life and better about yourself.

You Can’t Save Your Child From Their Anorexia

By Emily T. Troscianko on February 18, 2015 in A Hunger Artist
This guest post by my mother Sue Blackmore reflects on the difficulty, for parents with an anorexic child, of striking the right balance between caring for their child and ruining their own lives trying and failing to help.

The New Pleasure Principle

By Gayil Nalls Ph.D. on February 17, 2015 in Sensoria
Looking at sexual practices through the lens of geosocial sexual networking apps.

Results of Massive Educational Research Study Released

By Rebecca Jackson on February 17, 2015 in School of Thought
"When it comes to controlling my child's media use, I know I fall short and I feel guilty about that," said Kim, a mother from San Antonio, Texas, who, along with hundreds of other parents, assisted researchers last year by taking the study during its beta testing and offering feedback.

5 Things You Need to Know About Body Language

If you want to become a “master” of nonverbal communication, there are some things you need to know.

Losing a Family to Suicide

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on February 16, 2015 in Media Spotlight
A recent issue of the journal Crisis includes a moving case study of a South Korean man whose depressed wife had committed suicide by jumping off a building with her young son in her arms. How can someone move on after such a loss?

Why "I Am Charlie" (And a Bit Danish too)

By George Michelsen Foy on February 15, 2015 in Shut Up and Listen!
The attacks on free speech in France (and now Denmark) cannot be justified by a country's social problems

Escape The Emotional Eating Cycle

By Jason Lillis Ph.D. on February 13, 2015 in Healthy Change
Emotional eating is a common trap many of us fall into where we use food to feel better right now, despite the fact that eating often makes us feel much worse later. Stepping out of this struggle requires a different view on emotions.

The Psychology of Dreaming

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on February 13, 2015 in A Sideways View
Is the psychology of dreaming a forgotten backwater? There are many claims made about how, when and why to interpret dreams but are they true?

Obama’s Almost Perfect Speech on Religion

By Izzy Kalman on February 12, 2015 in Resilience to Bullying
Barack Obama's speech at the National Prayer Breakfast on Feb. 5 was excellent. It was attacked by many Christians and political pundits who cannot handle criticism of their own beliefs. But even Obama's speech was misleading about the full meaning of freedom of speech.

Obsessing Over Wrinkles? Depressed About Aging?

By Dr. Suzanne Gelb Ph.D., J.D. on February 12, 2015 in All Grown Up
While many of us recognize that growing older is a privilege, this doesn't change the fact that sometimes, aging can feel really unpleasant. Even downright depressing. Here are 5 questions to help you back out of negative thoughts about aging (obsessing over sagging skin and other perceived "flaws") and focus on what really matters.