The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent posts on Forgiveness

The Wisdom of "It's Not My Fault"

When we are not caught in self-blame, we are free to love this life. Opening to the possibility of "It’s not my fault" creates space for deep inner freedom.

When It’s Hard to Forgive: Five Suggestions for You

Do not quickly abandon the forgiveness process once you begin. Consider these ideas for your healing.

Real Love: A Conversation With Sharon Salzberg

By Mark Matousek on May 17, 2017 in Ethical Wisdom
Meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg talks about the real meaning of love, and how to bring sanity—and compassion—to the turbulent landscape of our times.

What You Should Be Thinking When You Argue With Your Partner

Do you argue with your partner often? A little self-awareness can go a long way.

Forgiveness Part 3

Her transformed self-image has been earned and hard-won. She has become a courageously outspoken advocate for and an inspiration to many men and women...

Forgiveness Part 2

Monica found her way to forgiveness the hard way, the way many people do, by experiencing pain and betrayal.

Do You Need Mother's Apology? What Should Your Mom Say?

Nobody said being a mother was easy; perhaps it's time to say that being a daughter to a certain kind of mother is very, very hard.

Forgiveness Part 1

Beginning at the age of ten, Monica was frequently sexually assaulted for a period of more than six years. The assailant was her father.
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Dealing with Disappointment in Life

Everyone will be disappointed somehow in life. Try these four things to help prepare yourself.

The Victim Is To Blame

By Arthur Dobrin D.S.W. on May 08, 2017 in Am I Right?
There is a reason why some blame the victim: it is a matter of their moral system.

Why Negative Thoughts Are Normal

We're all wired for negativity for good reason: It helped us survive. But today these tendencies backfire. So forgive yourself, move on, and feel joy for a change.

Put Down That Baggage

Two tips for personal reflection that will help you be a better friend

Take the #1 Apology Challenge!

We're wired to muck up the apology. Take this #1 apology challenge.

Do You Want Good Self-Care? Love Others

Learning to love more consistently, more consciously, and more deeply is healthy for you.
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Who’s to Blame? The Real Downside of the Blame Game

By F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W. on April 22, 2017 in Off the Couch
When things go wrong, blaming someone or something – even yourself – can help you cope. But blame can be a problem, too. Here's how you can move past the blame game.

Renewing War-Torn Communities Through Forgiveness Education

Might forgiveness education be the missing piece to the peace puzzle?

Forgiving Yourself

Through self-forgiveness there is psychological and, perhaps even more profoundly, spiritual growth.
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How to Rebuild Trust When a Betrayal Comes to Light

By Tim Cole Ph.D. on April 14, 2017 in Intimate Portrait
Has your partner betrayed your trust? Take the necessary steps to repair the damage done.

Forgiveness Research and the Gratitude Factor

While forgiveness is related to the brain's grey matter, building a neural pathway for gratitude in the brain can help in achieving a certain peace of mind.

The "Guilty Dog" Look and Other Borrowed Signals

The guilty dog look and the human handshake have similar roots in the evolution of animal communication.

The Two Faces of Narcissism in Romantic Relationships

Narcissists are attractive in the short-run but in long-term, their grandiosity leads to problems. New research shows how narcissism’s two faces predict relationship quality.

Forgive and Go Free!

Free yourself with forgiveness.

A New Approach to Reducing Depression

Do you want to reduce your symptoms of psychological depression even more? Consider forgiveness therapy.

Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, and the Reasons We Blame Victims

In May of 2016, actress Amber Heard accused her husband Johnny Depp of hitting her and assaulting her. She posted pictures of injuries to her face and filed for divorce.

Late by Four Days?

By Seth Slater M.F.A. on March 29, 2017 in The Dolphin Divide
How to not be kept waiting. When the desire for instant gratification meets perpetual procrastination, what’s to be done?
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8 Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem

Ever struggle with self-doubt? (Who hasn't?) Here are some ways to start conquering those demons and begin to embrace the lovable being that you are.

Why Resentment Lasts—and How to Defeat It

Resentment is a formidable foe. Are you willing to defeat it by trying these 5 approaches?

Research Shows How We Decide Whether To Blame

By Grant H. Brenner M.D. on March 24, 2017 in ExperiMentations
We tend to blame easily, at our peril. Blaming can take the place of thinking, and lead to vicious cycles. Understanding how blame works can help us make better choices.

The War is ON, and Nature Will Not Lose—People Will

By Kenneth Worthy Ph.D. on March 23, 2017 in The Green Mind
Who will be the losers of Trump’s war on nature? Humans.

A Single Act of Amnesty: the Heart of Com-passion

By Gregg Levoy on March 20, 2017 in Passion!
Passion comes from a word meaning "to suffer," and compassion means shared suffering. As with last month’s post, this month's features a second story about the power of com-passion