The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent posts on Forgiveness

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It's Not My Fault!

How to resolve conflict in a healthy way.

How to Reclaim Your Self-Respect After a Bad Break-Up

By Jennice Vilhauer Ph.D. on June 24, 2017 in Living Forward
The one thing worse than ending a relationship with someone you love, it is hating yourself on top of it. Learn how to regain your self-respect and confidence.

You Are More than Your Emotional Pain: You Are a Person

When you are in emotional pain, do your best to resist defining yourself primarily by that pain which you carry within. You are a person of great worth. Try to see this.

The Knee-Jerk Apologist

Why do some people apologize for everything?
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Finding Their Way Home: Posttraumatic Growth in Veterans

The same skills forged in battle can be leveraged to thrive at home.

How to Recover From an Online Emotional Affair

Recovery from an online affair requires disabling more than an Internet connection. To rebuild relational trust, a straying partner must disable online emotional connections.

Blame: A Not So Guilty Pleasure

By Mark Alicke Ph.D. on June 14, 2017 in Why We Blame
Everyone tells us that blame is a sin and to forgive is divine. Think again.

Freedom in Forgiveness

By Zack Carter Ph.D. on June 13, 2017 in Clear Communication
Forgive and move forward.

No Syrup, Just Butter

A Father's Day story about abandonment and healing.
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A State of Organizational Grace

By James Bailey Ph.D. on June 11, 2017 in At the Helm
The two most difficult sentences to utter are "I am sorry" and "You are forgiven."

After an Affair, How Innocent Partners Rebuild the Marriage

Surviving an affair involves active strategies of recovery. One of the most powerful is a faithful partner actively demonstrating forgiveness through acts of grace and kindness.

How (and When) to Apologize to Your Child

Apologizing for your own off-track behavior doesn't mean you don't correct your child when necessary. He'll still know who's boss.

Adam Ruined My Research

What happens when you meet someone who criticized your research? A debate about generations, and a story of open discussion.

Why You Might Forgive Kathy Griffin: “My Bad” V. “I´m Sorry"

Public offenders can be forgiven. Yet is the mea culpa art or artifice? Public apologies that admit guilt, express remorse, and seek forgiveness are more likely to be accepted.

Kindness Towards Oneself and Others Tones Your Vagus Nerve

Having compassion towards yourself and others is the key to creating an "upward spiral" of well-being as marked by healthier vagal tone in your vagus nerve.

The Five Best Ways to Ruin an Apology

Here's how to de-code those relationship-busting apologies in love and work.

The Wisdom of "It's Not My Fault"

When we are not caught in self-blame, we are free to love this life. Opening to the possibility of "It’s not my fault" creates space for deep inner freedom.

When It’s Hard to Forgive: Five Suggestions for You

Do not quickly abandon the forgiveness process once you begin. Consider these ideas for your healing.

Real Love: A Conversation With Sharon Salzberg

By Mark Matousek on May 17, 2017 in Ethical Wisdom
Meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg talks about the real meaning of love, and how to bring sanity—and compassion—to the turbulent landscape of our times.

What You Should Be Thinking When You Argue With Your Partner

Do you argue with your partner often? A little self-awareness can go a long way.

Forgiveness Part 3

Her transformed self-image has been earned and hard-won. She has become a courageously outspoken advocate for and an inspiration to many men and women...

Forgiveness Part 2

Monica found her way to forgiveness the hard way, the way many people do, by experiencing pain and betrayal.

Do You Need Mother's Apology? What Should Your Mom Say?

Nobody said being a mother was easy; perhaps it's time to say that being a daughter to a certain kind of mother is very, very hard.

Forgiveness Part 1

Beginning at the age of ten, Monica was frequently sexually assaulted for a period of more than six years. The assailant was her father.
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Dealing with Disappointment in Life

Everyone will be disappointed somehow in life. Try these four things to help prepare yourself.

The Victim Is To Blame

By Arthur Dobrin D.S.W. on May 08, 2017 in Am I Right?
There is a reason why some blame the victim: it is a matter of their moral system.

Why Negative Thoughts Are Normal

We're all wired for negativity for good reason: It helped us survive. But today these tendencies backfire. So forgive yourself, move on, and feel joy for a change.