The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent posts on Forgiveness

How Trump Takes Advantage of the Psychology of Blame

By Robert Klitzman M.D. on February 23, 2017 in Am I My Genes?
To make sense of complex problems, we often seek simple story lines. These often involve blaming someone, assigning physical and moral cause. Trump takes advantage of this trait.

Be Responsible For Your Relationships

By Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. on February 21, 2017 in Emotional Fitness
We are 100 percent responsible for our relationships. We create them in our minds and hearts, and we have a hand in the twists and turns they take.

Forgiveness: 3 Misconceptions

By Robert Enright, Ph.D. on February 18, 2017 in The Forgiving Life
Forgiving others can be misunderstood, preventing psychological healing.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving: Coping with Parental Guilt

By Dena Kouremetis on February 17, 2017 in The Unedited Offspring
What can we do to assuage the guilt we feel over not being the best parents we could have been?

When “I’m Sorry” Just Isn’t Enough

Since we are all (no exceptions) mistake-prone to varying degrees, it behooves us to become adept in the art of making effective repairs and corrections.
Erik Hans Krause in employ of WPA/PD-US-not renewed

"Refrigerator Mothering" Is Dead but the Blame Game Lives On

By Barb Cohen on February 16, 2017 in Mom, Am I Disabled?
The mother—and now the father too—are still suspect. Suspected of what? Nobody knows for sure, but whatever it is, we are expected to defend ourselves against it.

What To Get Your Ex For Valentine's Day

By Wendy Paris on February 14, 2017 in Splitopia
Valentine's Day is a chance to celebrate all the people in our lives—including our ex. 

Nine Types of Love

By Kimberly Key on February 14, 2017 in Counseling Keys
Cats may have nine lives. Humans have nine loves. In fact, we can benefit from all nine of these types of love.


By Ana Nogales, Ph.D. on February 07, 2017 in Family Secrets
Forgiveness is difficult.

"A Vicious Cycle": The Paradox of Apologies and Lawsuits

By Ruth Lee Johnson J.D. on January 30, 2017 in So Sue Me
Do apologies invite litigation? Or do apologies prevent litigation?

Forgiveness Therapy and Empathy in Cases of Sexual Abuse

By Robert Enright, Ph.D. on January 22, 2017 in The Forgiving Life
Is encouraging empathy within psychotherapy always a good idea or can it be dangerous especially in cases of sexual abuse?

4 Key Mistakes When Making an Apology

By Andy Molinsky Ph.D. on January 21, 2017 in Adaptation
Have a hard time saying you're sorry? Here are the 4 most common apologizing errors.
DepositPhotos/VIA Institute

10 New Strategies for Stress Management

By Ryan M. Niemiec Psy.D. on January 19, 2017 in What Matters Most?
Stress management is a popular topic, but can you list off 10 strategies that are research-based? Did you know that your inner capacities can be boosted to help with each one?
photo from pixabay

Empowering the Past

By Matt James Ph.D. on January 16, 2017 in Focus on Forgiveness
You want a great start to a new year, you have to begin with a good relationship with the past one.
Krystine I. Batcho

Beyond Hate: Healing in the Aftermath of Violence

Defeating hate is one of the most pressing issues of our time. How can we move beyond the impact of hate-filled violence?

Why We Need Forgiveness Education

By Robert Enright, Ph.D. on January 15, 2017 in The Forgiving Life
How can we survive, as adults, the cruelty of others when we never have been introduced to forgiveness as children?

Combat Anger With Empathy in a Good Divorce

By Wendy Paris on January 10, 2017 in Splitopia
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” -The Buddha

Saying “I’m Sorry”

Many people seem to find saying “I’m sorry” an extremely difficult thing to offer. Here are four guidelines for an effective apology.

Recovering From Infidelity Part 4

The 40 repair steps one committed couple used for success.

On Resolutions: To Err Is Human; to Forgive, Divine

If you are struggling to commit to some form of self-improvement, consider a suggestion that can lessen heartache and save money.

Promoting Childhood Emotional Health

These five principles can boost resilience.
Source: Kristin A. Meekhof

Give Yourself Grace—The Ultimate Gift

By Kristin Meekhof on December 26, 2016 in A Widow's Guide to Healing
How forgiving yourself leads to healing

Is It True That Forgiveness Is “Ridiculous”?

By Robert Enright, Ph.D. on December 20, 2016 in The Forgiving Life
Might the idea of forgiving others be something that is ridiculous? Let us explore this together.

Recovery From Infidelity Part 2

This is the story of Simon and Davey, a story of broken trust due to affairs on both their parts.

Afraid of Mingling with the Relatives This Holiday Season?

By Robert Enright, Ph.D. on December 17, 2016 in The Forgiving Life
Turn those awkward family gatherings into harmony and joy.

A New Approach to School Bullying: Eliminate Their Anger

By Robert Enright, Ph.D. on December 17, 2016 in The Forgiving Life
It is time to end school bullying by curing the anger in those who bully.

How Good Divorce Lawyers Have Improved Divorce

By Wendy Paris on December 14, 2016 in Splitopia
We've all heard about "shark" lawyers circulating failing marriages, but some of the best innovations in cooperative divorce and co-parenting come from divorce professionals.

When It's Time to Forgive

By Arthur Dobrin D.S.W. on December 08, 2016 in Am I Right?
You've been hurt—maybe you shouldn't forgive.

Do You Overeat? You Might Want to Blame Childhood Stress

By Peter A. Ubel M.D. on December 08, 2016 in Critical Decisions
Eating only when you are hungry: That’s a real luxury.

"Forgiveness Saved My Life"

By Robert Enright, Ph.D. on December 07, 2016 in The Forgiving Life
Can we learn from those who are suffering in prison? They may be our teachers when it comes to forgiving.