The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent Posts on Forgiveness

Releasing the Barriers to Love: An Interview with Tara Brach

By Mark Matousek on November 24, 2015 Ethical Wisdom
What is the role of radical acceptance in intimate relationships? Why is spaciousness necessary for deep connection? Is it possible to be committed without attachment? How can we set our beloved free without losing trust?

Can't I Just Say "I'm Sorry" and We Can Move On?

The question is not if we will hurt others, because we all will. The question is what we should do when it happens.

Is There a Hole in Your Sidewalk?

How to get of the hole you keep falling into.

Is Junk Food to Blame for the Obesity Epidemic? Yes and No.

According to a new study from Cornell University, junk food alone is not driving the skyrocketing obesity rates in the United States.

Honoring Fallen Comrades of War in Indochina

By Eric Newhouse on November 09, 2015 Invisible Wounds
Stuart Allen Beckley, a retired lieutenant colonel, restored his own sense of honor by honoring comrades in arms who died in Indochina. His monument on a remote ridgetop in in Colorado, was largely unknown until a group of bikers found it recently and posted this image on YouTube.

Why Women Over-Apologize: How and Why To Stop It!

What drives women to over-apologize? And why you need to get a grip.

Ridding Happiness Contaminants 3: Self-Damning Depression

Anybody who has ever experienced depression knows how painful it is. But, except in rare circumstances, nobody needs to be or stay depressed. Learn how to rid one of the two major forms of depression – Self-Damning Depression.

21 Sleep Tips to Refresh Your Body, Brain, and Gratitude

Sleepless nights can disrupt thinking and loving.

How Not to Be a Jerk or a Wimp

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on November 01, 2015 Ambigamy
Based on broad reading in behavioral science and philosophy, here are some tips on how to tip yourself toward the middle ground between being over-assertive and over-accommodating.

Forgive Me, Forgive me not

“I’m so mad, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive them.” So what exactly is forgiveness… and what is it not?

Breathwork as a Treatment for Addiction?

By Amy Dresner on October 26, 2015 Coming Clean
Just Breathe! Breathwork for Addiction.

Parent Abuse

When rebelling turns into abusing, it's vital for parents take a stand. Remember, parent abuse only thrives when authority is weak.

Postpartum Depression: From Blame to Responsibility

By Claudia M Gold M.D. on October 15, 2015 Child in Mind
When we point to the negative effects of postpartum depression on child development, parents may be overwhelmed with guilt. "I'm guilty" can also mean "I'm responsible." Framed in light of responsibility, parents may instead feel empowered.

5 Ways You Need to Build Forgiveness Into Your Relationship

Scientists who study forgiveness have long agreed that it is one of the most important contributors to a healthy relationship. Studies have shown that couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer, more satisfying romantic relationships and potentially longer lives. So, what makes forgiveness so good for us and how can we grow our capacity to forgive?

School Reform: A Crisis of Expectations

By Mack R. Hicks Ph.D. on October 12, 2015 Digital Pandemic
Tired of the political battles over school reform? Time to take off the rose-colored glasses and end the blame game.

The Tragedy of a Failed Apology: Don't Make This #1 Mistake!

Here's a story of a high stakes apology gone wrong—and how to get it right.

The Secret to Keeping Your Cool When You’re Really Mad

By Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. on September 30, 2015 Feeling It
Anger costs us a lot, but it's also helpful. Here's a science-based secret to reaping the good while avoiding the bad.

How to Practice Mindfulness – 5 Tips No One Has Told You

Mindfulness is a paradox. It’s the easiest thing in the world and the hardest thing in the world. But, you can cultivate your mindfulness. Here are 5 tips to find success with your mindfulness practice, whether you are new to mindfulness or someone who has been experiencing some hiccups in your practice.

Secrets of a Long and Happy Marriage

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on September 28, 2015 Turning Point
How do you keep the love tank full? Discover the secrets of long and happy marriages.

Negative Spiritual Beliefs Can Sabotage Your Well-Being

By Christopher Bergland on September 24, 2015 The Athlete's Way
New research shows that people who believe that a higher power or "God" is punishing them with an illness tend to have significantly poorer health outcomes.

What I Learned from Baseball and Yogi Berra

By Rita Watson MPH on September 23, 2015 With Love and Gratitude
Despite his 14 year feud with George Steinbrenner, Yogi Berra is remembered as a man who embraced friendship and compassion for his teammates.

Opening the Medicine Box in Your Mind

By Beth Darnall PhD on September 22, 2015 Less Pain, Fewer Pills
In this 25 minute YouTube video Dr. Darnall discusses the science of how to "Open the Medicine Box in Your Mind" to control pain and improve wellness! Learn about the latest in pain psychology research, techniques and tips you can use today!

Effective Apologies in 3 Easy Steps

Are you tired of hearing "I'm sorry" without any meaning or feeling to it? Do your apologies seem to lack weight? Try this three-part approach to mending things.

Gratitude as Emotion: 4 Challenges to Forgiveness

By Rita Watson MPH on September 21, 2015 With Love and Gratitude
Does gratitude dissipate when we are angry or sad? And if so, perhaps forgiveness is the bridge between the gratitude of science and the gratitude of emotion.

Accusing an Innocent Child of a Major Crime

By Carrie Barron M.D. on September 21, 2015 The Creativity Cure
Punishing a person with a strong conscience or a child with unusual gifts of creativity, self expression or empathy because of mindless misunderstanding can cause serious damage. Understanding who someone is as well as what they do or have done is important for effective intervention. Rigid rule following can backfire..

5 Reasons We Play the Blame Game

When something goes wrong in your life, is your first reaction to blame someone else? If so, you’re engaging in the very common behavior of the blame game. Unfortunately, there are no winners in this game, so knowing the 5 reasons for why you do this will benefit your relationships.

Should You Forgive?

Forgiveness can be impossible. It can also be freeing. Here's how to make it work for you.

The Art of the Non-Apology

By Denise Cummins Ph.D. on September 16, 2015 Good Thinking
When the hosts of the talk news show The View mocked Miss Colorado's monolog about her work with Alzheimer's patients, they faced a backlash of angry viewers. So they responded with a non-apology. Here's what they should have done instead.

Blame It on the Boogie?

By Mark D. Griffiths Ph.D. on September 09, 2015 In Excess
Psychological research has shown that dancing can have substantial benefits for physical and mental health such as decreased depression and anxiety, and increased physical and psychological wellbeing. However, there are also a number of studies that have claimed that dancing can possibly be addictive.

On Wound Collectors

By Joe Navarro M.A. on September 06, 2015 Spycatcher
What do many mass murderers have in common? Something many see but fail to recognize in advance.