The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent Posts on Forgiveness

The Science of Betrayal

A betrayal by someone you trust is one of the most challenging interpersonal situations you can face in life. Whether through infidelity or a failure to fulfill a promise, betrayal leads to a desire for revenge, particularly in some people. New neuroscience research suggests who’s most likely to be hurt by a betrayal and why.

Men Lose Their Memory Faster With Age

By Temma Ehrenfeld on April 23, 2015 in Open Gently
Men lose their memory faster than women.

How Brian Williams Can Earn Back Trust

Can Brian Williams earn back trust? Yes, he can if he follows the 4 H's and 4 R's.

Routine, Grit, and Vision

Establishing simple, repeatable, and mundane routines set you up for a life of adventure in everything. Small steps, big rewards.

10 Tips to Change From Reactive to Proactive in Situations

All of us encounter experiences in life when we may be temporally overwhelmed by a negative emotion, be it anger, pressure, nervousness, despair, or confusion. In these situations, how we choose to “master the moment” can make the difference between proactive versus reactive, and confidence versus insecurity. Here are ten ways to be less reactive in difficult situations...

What Causes You Inner Turmoil?

Being in heated conflict not with others but with yourself can—let’s face it—be agonizing. To be split down the middle, to endlessly waver between two (and sometimes more) options, can at its worst be almost unimaginably distressing. Obsessive to an extreme, it can lead to a paralysis of will (not to mention, much lost sleep). . . .

Wired for Perfect Health

Your unconscious mind knows exactly what you need to be healthy. So why aren’t you?

Unloved Daughters and the Pain of Mother's Day

By Peg Streep on April 14, 2015 in Tech Support
While for many children, Mother's Day is one of true celebration, it's a day to be gotten through, survived, or ignored for others. Why is it that we continue to look away from an unpleasant truth: that, sometimes, Mother's Day hurts?

10 Signs of True Love

Two selfish creatures committing to a life partnership need an ironic frame.

When a Sociopath Is Hell Bent on Destroying You

By Carrie Barron M.D. on April 13, 2015 in The Creativity Cure
Sociopaths (anti-social personality, psychopath) can decimate a life. The mental, emotional or physical trauma can be stunning. The aftermath of sociopathic is unique because the assault instills a dim world view, a shaky sense of safety and a feeling that one has been visited by evil. Here are 16 points of focus to begin recovery.

12 Keystone Principles That Bolster Resilience

These 12 keystone principles will increase your resilience and help you stay brave in the face of adversity.

The Psychology of Imprinting

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on April 12, 2015 in A Sideways View
There are fascinating stories of how animals get attached to those of a quite different species because of critical period imprinting. Can this process begin to help us understand why we are attracted to very different kinds of people?

Holding a Grudge Produces Cortisol and Diminishes Oxytocin

Are you currently holding a grudge against someone? Is someone holding a grudge against you? This blog post offers scientific reasons and some basic advice on how-to let go of a grudge and move on with your life.

12 Ways to Replenish Your Energy

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on April 11, 2015 in Wander Woman
Do you feel exhausted at the end of the day, with little energy left for family and friends? This post will help you look at what you do that leaves you feeling drained, and then provides tips for revitalizing yourself so you have energy left for the evening.

Happinesses

By Joachim I Krueger Ph.D. on April 10, 2015 in One Among Many
I found 26 blog posts on happiness in my blog archive. Here’s a list of them with a brief statement of contents for each. Peace and happiness!

15 Ways to Share Love in the Springtime

Whether it is real or simply a happy time that enlivens us, here are some ways to take advantage of spring fever with someone special in your life.

John Joseph Shows Us Why Healthy Living Is Pure Hardcore

By Michael Friedman Ph.D. on April 08, 2015 in Brick by Brick
The Cro-Mags' John Joseph shows us that coping with difficult situations can be hard, but healthy living is the ultimate strategy.

Does Therapy Change Implicit Negative Beliefs?

Does cognitive therapy for depression change implicit beliefs?

Dealing with Unexpected Loss

Dealing with loss is always emotionally challenging. Whether we are offering support to family, friends, and coworkers who have been intimately affected, or grieving as an entire nation, there are some specific dynamics to consider when addressing loss that is so sudden.

The Monk Chat from Thailand

Sitting with a young monk in Chiang Mai yields eons of wisdom on what holds us back from life and ourselves and what to do about it.

How to Give Unconditional Love to Your Child and to Yourself

Parenting is really, truly, the hardest thing any of us will ever do, because it requires us to grow. So we all need to give ourselves support if we want to parent well. Instead of berating yourself when you make a mistake, resolve to learn from it.

The Pressure to Re-Invent Yourself in the Third Act

The Pressure to Re-Invent Yourself in the Third Act: Ending the Cycle of Stress

What Are the Most Important 10 Years of Your Life?

By Steven Mintz Ph.D. on April 04, 2015 in The Prime of Life
The ten years from eighteen to twenty-eight are the pivotal decade in a person’s life.

Is the Earth a Sentient Being?

The planet senses threats and changes its behavior to reduce those threats. Is it alive?

Cinderella: Trash or Treasure?

Is Disney’s new Cinderella just more grist for the princess mill? Is it drivel, schmaltz, fantasy? Or does it go way deeper? Intelligently written, directed, designed, and acted, the filmmakers have created a profound exploration of life, love, spirituality, international politics, and valuable lessons to embrace. Look through a new lens and see what resonates with you.

Commit to Self-Compassion

By Wendy Paris on March 31, 2015 in Splitopia
Self-compassion is a powerful force when it comes to getting through a divorce and getting on with your life.

It's Time to Take the "Positive" Out of Positive Psychology

By Amie M. Gordon PhD on March 30, 2015 in Between You and Me
What is the prescription for optimal living? The burgeoning field of positive psychology appears to have many of the answers: We should be kind to others, forgiving of transgressions, gracious and compassionate in our daily lives, and optimistic about the future. Following this simple plan should keep us happy and healthy. It turns out the answer might not be so simple.

A Better Way to Prevent Rampage Killings

By Izzy Kalman on March 30, 2015 in Resilience to Bullying
To protect their children from a bullied student who wrote a violent novel describing how he kills them, parents at Tidwell Middle School are demonstrating to have him expelled from school. If anything, their demonstrations may be helping to create a monster and putting their children in greater danger. There is a better way to for these parents to demonstrate.

Are You Falling Out of Love?

By Randi Gunther Ph.D. on March 29, 2015 in Rediscovering Love
Evaluate your feelings and decide whether you should end your relationship now or take steps toward turning it around.

Back in the Swim

Ambivalent about permission to move on with her life after early widowhood, Angie has spent three years going through classic stages of grieving. As a widow, I understand and help her to free her energies to move into warm weather with a spring in her step.