The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent Posts on Forgiveness

How Deep is Your Love?

Do you feel like you’re not enough? Is your Valentine’s Day doomed to be dismal? It doesn't have to. Find out what it means to right with yourself.

Is Our Childhood Really to Blame for Everything?

In which the author explains why looking at your childhood issues is the responsible thing to do for yourself and those who love you.

Nine Steps When Someone Hurts You

Being able to put your past abuse into perspective doesn’t mean you will be immune from being hurt in the present. Here are nine steps to help you move towards forgiveness.

How to Live Compassionately: Forgive Yourself Forgive Others

Forgiveness is an act of compassion, the latter meaning reaching out to yourself and others to alleviate suffering. Forgiving yourself and forgiving others does just that.

Ho'oponopono: Ancient Concept for a Modern World

Holding a grudge? Want to let it go, not for their sake but for yours? Learn the ancient way Hawaiians stayed healthy and pono with the practice of Ho'oponopono.

What to Do When Someone Flirts With Your Partner (or More)

Your partner may have every intention of being faithful but, without any warning, someone else comes along and turns it all upside down. What will you do?

When a Loved One Attempts Suicide

Learning to forgive oneself after a loved one's suicide attempt is essential.

4 Steps to Stop Blaming

Knowing who is to blame (and blaming them) will not make you happier or change your life!

The Case for Looking Up Old Flames

By Isadora Alman MFT on January 07, 2016 Sex & Sociability
Someone in your past may hold the key to your future. Is it worth a second look?

This Is Why Couples Cannot Hold Grudges

Conflict is always stressful, and animals show us that re-establishing positive interactions quickly afterward is crucial for a relationship to remain healthy.

4 Things You Shouldn’t Blame Yourself for After a Breakup

By Juliana Breines Ph.D. on December 30, 2015 In Love and War
When a relationship ends, learning from your mistakes is a good thing; unfairly blaming yourself is not.

I Forgive You

Mistakes are a basic part of the human story. And so is forgiveness.

New Year Resolutions

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on December 29, 2015 A Sideways View
It is the time for life change. What are you going to do? Or from past experience is it your resolve never to make new year resolutions?

Lame Blame

By Kirby Farrell Ph.D. on December 25, 2015 A Swim in Denial
In the season of giving, the key is forgiving. We victimize scapegoats by blaming them for what we hate in ourselves. But the better it works, the more it injures you.

Psychotherapy

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on December 24, 2015 Minority Report
Has the church abdicated its sacred role and responsibility to bring wholeness and healing to the realm of the private psychotherapist? It certainly looks that way.

Forgiving Your Partner Is as Good for You as It Is for Them

New research suggests that withholding forgiveness may be self-destructive.

I'm Not A Broken Toy Anymore!

By Amy Dresner on December 20, 2015 Coming Clean
Still in the "addict" bin even though you've been sober for years? I get it.

The Best Thing to do on the Winter Solstice (Dec. 21)

Thinking ahead about what you want to build in the new year? Before you add the new, it may be helpful to clear the old, including resentments, grudges, or negative patterns.

Why You Need a No-Fault Relationship

By Susan K Perry Ph.D. on December 13, 2015 Creating in Flow
We want to be loved unreservedly, and we figure our mates should forgive our trivial imperfections. Yet we don't always give back that same unconditional affection.

What to Do About the People Who Blame You for Everything

Although you didn't sign up for the part, you are in fact playing a character in the blamer's internal narrative--which has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them!

10 Spiritual Principles to Heal Your Life

By Dan Mager MSW on December 09, 2015 Some Assembly Required
True spiritual principles open and soften the heart, connecting us more deeply and intimately with others, with the world around us, and with our authentic selves.

Soothing the Pain of Rejection On Facebook

By Allison Carmen on December 07, 2015 The Gift of Maybe
Rejection can be hurtful. How can we keep our hearts open and find the love within ourselves to be less needy, more giving and less rattled by how other people are behaving?

Why Couples Fight

A dysfunctional marriage is any marriage that has more than one person in it. Here's why.

Why We Play the Blame Game

The notion that we are either this or that — that we’re either smart or not, racist or not, sexist or not, good or not — is fundamentally undevelopmental.

Are You Holding Onto Feeling Wronged?

By Rick Hanson Ph.D. on November 30, 2015 Your Wise Brain
Appreciate the value of forgiveness. Ask yourself: what does my grievance, my resentment, cost me? What does it cost others I care about? What would it be like to lay those burdens down?

Forgiveness May Harm Society

By Arthur Dobrin D.S.W. on November 30, 2015 Am I Right?
After the shooting in Charleston and terrorist attacks elsewhere, a question arises: is there anything that cannot be forgiven?

Releasing the Barriers to Love: An Interview with Tara Brach

By Mark Matousek on November 24, 2015 Ethical Wisdom
What is the role of radical acceptance in intimate relationships? Why is spaciousness necessary for deep connection? Is it possible to be committed without attachment? How can we set our beloved free without losing trust?

Can't I Just Say "I'm Sorry" and We Can Move On?

The question is not if we will hurt others, because we all will. The question is what we should do when it happens.

Is There a Hole in Your Sidewalk?

How to get of the hole you keep falling into.

Is Junk Food to Blame for the Obesity Epidemic? Yes and No.

According to a new study from Cornell University, junk food alone is not driving the skyrocketing obesity rates in the United States.