The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent Posts on Forgiveness

One Key to a Good Marriage

By Michael W Austin on March 25, 2015 in Ethics for Everyone
For a good marriage, focus on being the right person.

Can You Free Yourself From Regrets in Your Life? Here's How

Many people feel regrets about past decisions and paths they took in their live, and they often feel trapped by the long-term consequences. But there's a different way of understanding the regrets, by learning how you have been changed by them in ways you might not realize.

Principles of Parting

By Wendy Paris on March 24, 2015 in Splitopia
Create principles of parting to help you adhere to your values, manifest your strengths and move through divorce more smoothly.

Dad Publicly Shames his Bully Son

With punishments becoming increasingly difficult to enforce, parents of defiant children are beginning to consider publicly humiliating them

To Everything There Is a Season: A Time to Smash the Ice

By Julie J. Exline Ph.D. on March 24, 2015 in Light and Shadow
Is there a time for rage? After a brutal winter and an attempt to come to peace with the ice that wouldn't leave our streets and sidewalks, here's what happened when I finally had a chance to do something about it.

The Disadvantages of Having a Mistress

By Fredric Neuman M.D. on March 22, 2015 in Fighting Fear
I think it is important to be conservative in dealing with the matter of mistresses, especially more than one.

Genetics and the Ides of March

The change of seasons has long been known to cause changes in mental health. Is there a genetic component?

Do You Like Your Sister?

Sympathy, compassion, understanding, respect, generosity and a willingness to forgive are essential features of every important relationship, including ones between members of an immediate family.

The Best Kept Secret to Phenomenal Productivity

By Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. on March 18, 2015 in Feeling It
Here's How Positivity Dramatically Improves A Team's Productivity & What You Can Do To Implement It

What Would You Never Dream of Doing?

By Elizabeth Wagele on March 17, 2015 in The Career Within You
Ones (Perfectionists) Would Never Dream of: • being half an hour late to work • not making reservations for every night of their vacation • leaving their clothes in a heap and their dishes unwashed all week • using their sleeve for a napkin • taking a relaxing bath just before guests come

Reservoir Dogs

By Jay Richards Ph.D. on March 16, 2015 in The Violent Mind
Why Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs paints the perfect portrait of the spectrum of psychopathic personalities.

I’m the Weirdest Codependent in the World

By Anna David on March 16, 2015 in After Party Chat
In some situations, I'll bend myself into a pretzel trying to make others comfortable. The rest of the time, I'll do and say anything without worrying about people's feelings. I don't fit the standard definition of a codependent but trust me, I qualify for the label.

11 Reasons: How to Explain People's Frustrating Behavior

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on March 16, 2015 in Ambigamy
We're notoriously good at rationalizing our behavior and criticizing the behavior of others, and we can't override this tendency simply by deciding to be more even-handed. Here's an alternative: Inventory 11 factors that influence what we all do.

Veterans Facing the End

By Eric Newhouse on March 15, 2015 in Invisible Wounds
Kandyce Powell and her colleagues at the Maine State Prison have put together a remarkable program to help incarcerated vets dump their emotional baggage in their waning days. It validates vets who have been unable to discuss what they did to others in combat. But helping their fellow inmates also turns out to be hugely therapeutic for the inmate hospice volunteers.

How to Learn the Language of Love

By Sheila Kohler on March 15, 2015 in Dreaming for Freud
Every time we fall in love it seems so new. We say to our beloved, “I’ve never felt quite like this before!” and we sincerely believe it. Suddenly, it seems, we see the world lit up anew.

How to Completely Change Your Sex Life and Relationship

It's normal for a couple who has been together for a few years to fall into a stale and boring pattern. Our brains crave novelty. Stability and security is nice and comforting, but it’s not exciting. Instead of taking each other for granted and then going on Facebook looking up someone you dated high school, try being open and honest with each other. Hit the reset button.

New Bullying Movie Set to Showcase "Perception"?

Simply put, without the mirroring of those around us, we cannot catch a glimpse of ourselves, and adjust behaviors, beliefs, and perceptions. Feedback endorses, rejects, or modifies our interpretations of events and experiences. Too often, bullying co-opts and perverts feedback, and bystanders, not unlike victims, are also expected to ‘take it'....

Is the Intense Pressure to Succeed Sabotaging Our Children?

Last week, a 13-year-old killed himself after receiving an email from his school that he was behind in his homework. What is the toll of putting so much academic and extracurricular pressure on children? What can parents, teachers, and policy makers do to break this vicious cycle and reduce the insanity of the K-12 rat race of trying to get into an A-list college?

Do You Know Your “Tell?”

By Gretchen Rubin on March 10, 2015 in The Happiness Project
Self-knowledge is one of the greatest challenges for happiness and good habits.

I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)

What people single out as perfect instances of being in love and true love does not reflect the love that exists in real love relationships.

Kevin Sessums 2.0: Waking Up After the Fire

By Mark Matousek on March 09, 2015 in Ethical Wisdom
What is the connection between fame and longing? Addiction and loss? Author Kevin Sessums talks about both in his new book, "I Left It On the Mountain"

Falling Out of Love

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on March 09, 2015 in Media Spotlight
Though there has been extensive research looking at the psychology of romantic love, is it possible to learn what can cause people to fall out of love with their significant other? For that matter, how is it possible to move on after a relationship comes to an end? A new article published in Review of General Psychology raises some intriguing questions about this.

An Unforgettable Zen Story About "Letting Go"

You do not need to forgive a bad action then the other person hasn't repaired. You do need to move on.

What Girls Can Say and Do to Stand Up to Bullying

When the simplicity of forming a friendship just by climbing the same jungle gym is replaced by the intricacy of scaling middle-school social ladders, how can you teach your daughter the skills she needs to stay strong in the face of friendship drama and bullying?

Time for Sex? Or Time to Focus on Survival?

By John Launer M.D. on March 06, 2015 in Sex versus Survival
Everything we do – everything – is aimed directly or indirectly at reproduction. How on earth could it be otherwise?

Doing Less to Conquer Your Fear

By Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D. on March 05, 2015 in Think, Act, Be
Therapists should avoid distraction during exposure treatment for OCD.

Bullying, Shame, and the Possibility of Redemption

The inclusion of so many isolated, yet deeply painful, shaming experiences under the rubric of ‘bullying’ is an attempt to give language to this pain—to legitimate it to ourselves, while giving it expression within culture.

Why We Hold Grudges, and How to Let Them Go

We hold onto our grudges, fiercely, even though we really want to let them go. We stay stuck in anger and resentment towards those who"wronged" us in the past, but we really want to move on and live in the present moment. What gets in the way of letting go and moving on, and how can we get free from our grudges and live what we really want?

Kindness to You Is Kindness to Me

By Rick Hanson Ph.D. on March 04, 2015 in Your Wise Brain
Helping others helps you; helping yourself helps others. Similarly, harming others harms you; harming yourself harms others. By letting it really land inside you that we are deeply connected with each other.

A Response to Sam Harris's Writings on Moral Truth Pt 2 of 3

By John A. Johnson Ph.D. on March 03, 2015 in Cui Bono
In August of 2013, Sam Harris issued a challenge to refute the central thesis of his book, The Moral Landscape. This thesis is that "questions of morality and values must have right and wrong answers that fall within the purview of science." This is part 2 of a 3-part post explaining why I agree with everything in his book except the central thesis.