The Nature of Forgiveness

Mustering up genuine compassion for those who have wronged us, instead of allowing anger toward them to eat away at us, is the course of action recommended by most psychologists. An exception to the belief that burying the hatchet brings peace to the soul may be sexual abuse: Some victims of these crimes are empowered when given permission to not forgive.

Recent Posts on Forgiveness

Forgiveness and the Meaning of Memorial Day

We can forgive those who harm us, but we can't forgive those who kill us.

Why Patience is Power

By Neel Burton M.D. on May 23, 2015 in Hide and Seek
Life is too short to wait, but it is not too short for patience.

Why Do Positive Leaders Believe It Pays to Be Virtuous?

As a leader what virtues do you encourage in your team? Could a more virtuous approach be the competitive differentiator that enables your organization to flourish?

Boxing and Domestic Abuse

Why boxing is not a causal factor behind domestic abuse

Did Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Deserve the Death Penalty?

By Joe Pierre M.D. on May 15, 2015 in Psych Unseen
How did jurors decide Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's fate?

Have You Told You Lately That You Love You?

By Hal Mathew on May 15, 2015 in Unagoraphobic
"Let's vase it, you're really a lovable person and so are you."

What Mentally Strong People Do When Things Go Wrong

Explanations help you learn from your mistakes. Excuses will damage your relationships and sabotage your chances of success.

The Definitive Way To Respond to Others' Mistakes

By Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. on May 13, 2015 in Feeling It
Mistakes happen. The question is - how should we respond? Research shows that compassion will help us come out ahead.

What Type of Apologizer Are You?

We will all need to say “I am sorry” at some point to build and maintain a healthy relationship. And we each bring our own style to our “sorry.” Awareness of your style—and your partner’s style—can help you figure out what work you might need to do to master the apology moment.

Should I Listen to the Advice of Celebrity Docs?

The debate about whether Dr. Mehmet Oz should resign from his position at Columbia for "quackery" continues. Questions about doing no harm, doing good, forgiveness, public shaming and responsible medicine are addressed in this blog.

How We Really Decide Who's to Blame

By Art Markman Ph.D. on May 01, 2015 in Ulterior Motives
Human beings love to give explanations for things. If you have ever spent any time with a 5-year-old, you know that a child that age just loves to ask, “Why?” This desire to understand why things happen continues throughout our lives. Understanding why things happen affects many aspects of our lives, including our ability to assign blame for an action.

Adventures in Allergy

When patients say they are "allergic" to something, they do not necessarily mean the same thing that doctors have in mind when they use the word. And vice versa.

Moving Past Anger in Divorce

By Wendy Paris on April 28, 2015 in Splitopia
Anger is a backward-looking emotion. It can keep you trapped in the past you no longer have. Moving on can mean moving past anger.

Not Just Curious: What In You Seeks Psychological Insights?

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on April 27, 2015 in Ambigamy
You could be watching cat videos but instead you read PT Blogs. Why is that? Here's one big appetite for psychological insight

Why Betrayal Hurts So Much (and Who Seeks Revenge)

A betrayal by someone you trust is one of the most challenging interpersonal situations you can face in life. Whether through infidelity or a failure to fulfill a promise, betrayal leads to a desire for revenge, particularly in some people. New neuroscience research suggests who’s most likely to be hurt by a betrayal and why.

Men Lose Their Memory Faster With Age

By Temma Ehrenfeld on April 23, 2015 in Open Gently
Men lose their memory faster than women.

How Brian Williams Can Earn Back Trust

Can Brian Williams earn back trust? Yes, he can if he follows the 4 H's and 4 R's.

Routine, Grit, and Vision

Establishing simple, repeatable, and mundane routines set you up for a life of adventure in everything. Small steps, big rewards.

10 Tips to Change From Reactive to Proactive in Situations

All of us encounter experiences in life when we may be temporally overwhelmed by a negative emotion, be it anger, pressure, nervousness, despair, or confusion. In these situations, how we choose to “master the moment” can make the difference between proactive versus reactive, and confidence versus insecurity. Here are ten ways to be less reactive in difficult situations...

What Causes You Inner Turmoil?

Being in heated conflict not with others but with yourself can—let’s face it—be agonizing. To be split down the middle, to endlessly waver between two (and sometimes more) options, can at its worst be almost unimaginably distressing. Obsessive to an extreme, it can lead to a paralysis of will (not to mention, much lost sleep). . . .

Wired for Perfect Health

Your unconscious mind knows exactly what you need to be healthy. So why aren’t you?

Unloved Daughters and the Pain of Mother's Day

By Peg Streep on April 14, 2015 in Tech Support
While for many children, Mother's Day is one of true celebration, it's a day to be gotten through, survived, or ignored for others. Why is it that we continue to look away from an unpleasant truth: that, sometimes, Mother's Day hurts?

10 Signs of True Love

Two selfish creatures committing to a life partnership need an ironic frame.

When a Sociopath Is Hell Bent on Destroying You

By Carrie Barron M.D. on April 13, 2015 in The Creativity Cure
Sociopaths (anti-social personality, psychopath) can decimate a life. The mental, emotional or physical trauma can be stunning. The aftermath of sociopathic is unique because the assault instills a dim world view, a shaky sense of safety and a feeling that one has been visited by evil. Here are 16 points of focus to begin recovery.

12 Keystone Principles That Bolster Resilience

These 12 keystone principles will increase your resilience and help you stay brave in the face of adversity.

The Psychology of Imprinting

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on April 12, 2015 in A Sideways View
There are fascinating stories of how animals get attached to those of a quite different species because of critical period imprinting. Can this process begin to help us understand why we are attracted to very different kinds of people?

Holding a Grudge Produces Cortisol and Diminishes Oxytocin

Are you currently holding a grudge against someone? Is someone holding a grudge against you? This blog post offers scientific reasons and some basic advice on how-to let go of a grudge and move on with your life.

12 Ways to Replenish Your Energy

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on April 11, 2015 in Wander Woman
Do you feel exhausted at the end of the day, with little energy left for family and friends? This post will help you look at what you do that leaves you feeling drained, and then provides tips for revitalizing yourself so you have energy left for the evening.

Happinesses

By Joachim I Krueger Ph.D. on April 10, 2015 in One Among Many
I found 26 blog posts on happiness in my blog archive. Here’s a list of them with a brief statement of contents for each. Peace and happiness!

15 Ways to Share Love in the Springtime

Whether it is real or simply a happy time that enlivens us, here are some ways to take advantage of spring fever with someone special in your life.