What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include 3 skills:

1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others;

2. The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving;

3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.

Recent Posts on Emotional Intelligence

Cinderella: Trash or Treasure?

Is Disney’s new Cinderella just more grist for the princess mill? Is it drivel, schmaltz, fantasy? Or does it go way deeper? Intelligently written, directed, designed, and acted, the filmmakers have created a profound exploration of life, love, spirituality, international politics, and valuable lessons to embrace. Look through a new lens and see what resonates with you.

Getting to Yes with Yourself

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on March 30, 2015 in Turning Point
In his latest book, William Ury, one of the world's best-known experts on negotiation, shows us how we can understand and influence ourselves first, before we engage in difficult conversations and negotiations with others--thus improving our chances for a successful agreement.

The Best Way to Get Love is to Show Love

Without realizing it, you communicate our emotions to others through our behavior as well as our words. In the best of all possible worlds, you would communicate only the positive, and not the negative emotions to those in your social world. By communicating "micro-affections," you and your relationships will benefit.

Violent Expression: Sign of Our Deep Need to Communicate?

By Seth Slater M.F.A. on March 26, 2015 in The Dolphin Divide
When notions of fair play are violated, our ability to speak helps keep the peace. We are capable of sudden, violent physical outbursts, but calm expressions of anger through language can keep us from resorting to brute force – sometimes.

Surprise

By The Book Brigade on March 26, 2015 in The Author Speaks
Surprise is good for the brain, great for relationships, and adds a certain frisson all around. Without it, life is lackluster. So why don't more people embrace the unexpected? They run from it or try to subdue it when they should instead roll with it.

Emotional Intelligence: Do Women Have an Edge?

Remember emotional intelligence can be learned; while it may be a part of women's "conditioning," many men have or can learn these behaviors.

The Quiet Advocate Behind Thriving Youth

All youth need supportive adult relationships beyond their parents—mentors who believe in them and their potential. Are you a mentor to young people? Learn how to foster their success.

You Can't Have Real Intimacy Without This

Being human means being vulnerable. But oftentimes we try to control love and intimacy, not realizing that true intimacy can only arise as we develop the awareness to notice and the courage to embrace our vulnerabilities. Our task is not to transcend our humanity or take flight into a spiritual self-image, but rather to engage with vulnerability in a skillful, gentle way.

Forbidden Knowledge

By Thomas Scheff Ph.D. on March 17, 2015 in Let's Connect
Learning about yourself and others.

Sparkle Versus Glow—and What That Means For Your Love Life

By Ken Page L.C.S.W. on March 14, 2015 in Finding Love
I recently had a dialogue with Sophia Dembling, author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After. Both of us had books come out at about the same time concerning the search for love. Her insights on the distinction between glow and sparkle hold one of the greatest keys to finding and keeping healthy love.

What's Wrong With Giving Advice

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on March 13, 2015 in Turning Point
We might think that giving advice might be the best way to help someone who has a problem. But it might instead inhibit our interpersonal relations, and be very ineffective. Here is why.

5 Ways an Overly Optimistic Outlook Can Become Harmful

While looking for the silver lining has many benefits, an overly optimistic outlook can actually become detrimental.

4 Ways To Be A More Authentic Person

People are attracted to authenticity. Here are four techniques that help you be your most authentic self, even in uncomfortable situations.

Excuse-making by School Children

By William R. Klemm Ph.D. on March 11, 2015 in Memory Medic
A sense of self-efficacy has to be earned. It does not come from excuses.

The Brave New World of Connectional Intelligence

By Tim Leberecht on March 09, 2015 in The Romance of Work
Connectional intelligence highlights an evolution that has been quietly taking place across workplaces all over the world—just like traditional intelligence is “out,” so is the old way of working. It’s a whole new world in more ways than one; there’s less emphasis on conventional hierarchies, more on reshaping office environments and workdays for improved collaboration.

Healing the Wounded Heart

Karen, a psychiatric nurse, connects her personal insecurity with the early loss of her Mother. As her therapist, I decide to self disclose that I became a young widow, and I understand. Together, we consider life after loss.

What's Your Meditation Type? (+ 5 Best Meditation Apps)

By Emma M. Seppälä Ph.D. on March 05, 2015 in Feeling It
Scientists and the popular press have touted the benefit of meditation. Here's how to find the type that's right for you.

4 Secrets to Negotiate with Difficult People

By Aldo Civico Ph.D. on March 04, 2015 in Turning Point
Are you dealing with a grumpy teenager, or an impossible boss? Here are 4 secrets suggested by successful mediators to deal with difficult people and situations.

Sex and Leadership for Women

Sex differences in the brain can help women be better leaders

Welcoming Emotions Into the Present Moment

We're often encouraged to be in the present moment. This article explores the hidden pitfalls of trying to be in the moment-- and discusses what is actually means to live in the present.

8 Warning Signs Your Lover is a Narcissist

The Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration." How do you know when your romantic partner may be a narcissist? Here are eight telltale signs...

The First 100 Days: Be A Stranger (As Long As You Can)!

By Tim Leberecht on February 28, 2015 in The Romance of Work
When you start a new job, your story has already started before you walk through the office door for the first time. The beginning of your tenure is a great opportunity to capitalize on being an outsider and to make new mistakes.

Grow a Key Inner Strength

By Rick Hanson Ph.D. on February 23, 2015 in Your Wise Brain
Use these four questions help grow inner strengths. 1) What's the issue? 2) What psychological resource - inner strength - if it were more present in your mind, would really help with this issue? 3) How could you have experiences of this inner strength? 4) How could you help this experience of the inner strength really sink in to you?

Confusing How and Why Is Prolonging The Suffering in Bipolar

By Tom Wootton on February 23, 2015 in Bipolar Advantage
If you want to end all suffering you need to understand the difference between why and how. The reason so many people are still suffering is because this difference has not been made clear enough.

What’s Behind Women’s Intuition?

By Audrey Nelson Ph.D. on February 22, 2015 in He Speaks, She Speaks
The ability to decode nonverbal cues is ultimately valuable and essential for effective communication. So women must ask themselves, how can we use these skills to enhance our effectiveness instead of letting them divert us? Women must not focus on others for a definition of what is “normal” or acceptable behavior; they must define it for themselves.

8 Negative Attitudes of Chronically Unhappy People

All of us experience negative thoughts from time to time. How we manage our negative attitudes can make the difference between confidence versus fear, hope versus despair, mastery versus victimhood, and victory versus defeat. Here are eight negative attitudes of chronically unhappy people...

Emotions As a Second Language - Or Should They Be Our First?

Emotional literacy is being able to feel and identify one’s feeling states. This fluency enhances emotional self-regulation, lessens over-reactivity to negative emotions such as anger, and is the basis of interpersonal emotional modulation.

5 Fixes for Conversations That Go Bad

By Susan K Perry Ph.D. on February 19, 2015 in Creating in Flow
My soon-to-be-ex-husband said in a therapy session, “I’m not blaming. I’m just explaining what she did wrong.” If only we’d both had copies of the new book Blamestorming with its wealth of help for conversations going wrong.

21 Ways to Get Closer to Your Child Today

Research shows that we need at least five positive interactions to each negative interaction to maintain a healthy, happy relationship that can weather the normal conflicts and upsets of daily life. This is true for our relationships with our children as well.

Can Dogs Recognize Emotions Just by Looking at a Human Face?

By Stanley Coren Ph.D., F.R.S.C. on February 17, 2015 in Canine Corner
New data shows that dogs need only a glimpse of your mouth or your eyes to determine whether you are happy or angry.