What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include 3 skills:

1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others;

2. The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving;

3. The ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.

Recent Posts on Emotional Intelligence

Living Closer to the Bone (Part 2)

By Michael Jawer on July 27, 2015 in Feeling Too Much
Evolutionary and behavioral science is giving credence to what Darwin observed and intuited 140 years ago. Studies indicate with a fair degree of certainty that animals have intense experiences comparable to human feelings of joy, anger, love, exuberance, delight, compassion, sorrow, and grief.

The Trouble With "Shame On You! You Shouldn't Feel That!"

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on July 27, 2015 in Ambigamy
Some people shun negative emotions to purge them. It doesn't work.

7 Ways Mentally Strong People Combat Stress

While stress causes some people to crumble, mentally strong people continue to thrive in the midst of added tension.

Summer Camp and Disruptive Moments

By Steve Baskin on July 26, 2015 in S'mores and More
Former summer campers often describe their experiences as "life changing", despite the fact that they spend far less time at camp than home or school. This article discusses one reason that camps have a disproportionate impact on the children they serve.

The Loneliness of Social Media, Part Two

Social media is not always very social. Understanding why not can help us understand what is lacking in our lives.

Embracing Fun

By Bernard L. De Koven on July 23, 2015 in On Having Fun
Fun has many meanings. It takes all of them to define the experience.

How to Resolve a Misundertanding

By Kimberly Key on July 22, 2015 in Counseling Keys
When mindreading doesn’t work, what can you do to improve your communication and lessen misunderstandings?

There Must Be a Good Reason

By Bernard L. De Koven on July 22, 2015 in On Having Fun
A game to play with yourself before you start hating people.

Beautifying Your Armpits

By Kirby Farrell Ph.D. on July 21, 2015 in A Swim in Denial
Would dyeing your armpit hair fabulous circus colors make you more beautiful, more expressive, more liberated? The armpit artists say they're saving women from "harmful standards." But all body decoration needs to balance technique and real-life experience. Do we want intimacy or applause?

Politics Or Performance?

As we enter organizations, we each face a simple choice: Do we primarily play politics, or do we try daily to perform at our best? Why do we often choose to play politics? Because the politics of the organization often appear to dictate who is hired, promoted and rewarded, and so playing politics seems to be our best chance to control our plight...

Personal Intelligence: Are You Using Yours?

You've heard a lot about emotional intelligence. Now there's a new kid on the block.

Learning From the Inside Out

Learning from the inside out centers around the role of emotion in shaping our lives. Disney’s new film, Inside Out, presents current thinking in neuroscience in a format that allows animated characters to teach us how to live life.

Coliberation

By Bernard L. De Koven on July 19, 2015 in On Having Fun
Playing well together

Living Closer to the Bone (Part 1)

By Michael Jawer on July 18, 2015 in Feeling Too Much
If you’re a pet owner, then you know that these animals have feelings. Other mammals may even be more aware of feelings that human beings are, because they possess a ‘primary’ form of consciousness: they live closer to the bone, so to speak, than we do.

When Your Child's Anger Triggers You

When tempers are fraying at your house, who has the power to calm the storm? You. But you can't do that if you're in a state of emergency. Unfortunately, many of us forget that parenting is rarely an emergency. When our child gets defiant, we feel an urgent need to take action. So we rush in, sirens blaring, and instead of a minor squall, we create a tsunami.

How Giving Something for Nothing Can Benefit your Health

Altruism can benefit your health - try it and see

Language Precision Helps Us to Educate and Learn

Imprecise use of language often reflects cloudy thinking, causes further clouding, and can cause serious harm.

Don’t Be Shameless! Why Good People Feel Bad Emotions

We tend to protect our children from shame. Should we?

Is Fame Really Worth Risking Mental Health?

I would not have predicted the stranglehold it Reality TV would come to have on “entertainment” today. It wasn’t a bad notion to use TV to shed light on the human condition. However, as a PsyD and LCSW, I know that whenever human beings are pitted against each other in a public forum, it triggers instincts and unpredictable behavior in them.

The Day I Quit Boxing

"Suddenly I stopped and looked up at him and said, "Dad, I don't think I want to box any more."

Does a Single Story Define You?

Just because stories help us make sense of the world, doesn’t mean we should allow them to govern our lives. Especially the stories we tell about ourselves...

Are You An Attractive Mate?

Do you think your mate desires you? Do you think he or she wants to be with you? Here's one way to make yourself more desirable.

5 Steps for Managing Your Emotional Triggers

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on July 08, 2015 in Wander Woman
When you can identify what is triggering your reactions in the moment, you give yourself the chance to feel differently if you want to. Naming your emotional triggers also gives you more clarity on what you need to do or ask for to change your circumstances. Choose your triggers from a list of needs and learn the steps for gaining emotional freedom today.

If Not Now, Zen?

Both the past and future weigh on us like heavy stones. But we are, after all, human, so we will inevitably do this past and future game.Take a breath and smile. Be here now.

Surviving the Family Car Trip

Before you tell a child to sit still, stop annoying everyone, or threaten to leave him on the side of the road if he doesn’t stop asking questions, try offering another source of stimulation. Give the child a meaningful role like navigator or ice cream finder and see if bad behavior doesn't change into something more socially desirable.

Why Vulnerability Takes Courage

Being vulnerable can be terrifying, but when we find the courage to step out on stage, we have the opportunity to reveal our deepest secret, which is often ourselves.

The Effects of Multiculturalism

Multiculturalism means everyone else must accept how you behave.

12 Signs That Your Partner Lacks Emotional Intelligence

Emotionally intelligent/competent people (high-EQ) make better relationship partners. Here are some signs that someone lacks emotional intelligence.

Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Is it ever OK not to be completely honest?

Should Couples Share Their Sexual Fantasies?

By Michael Castleman M.A. on July 02, 2015 in All About Sex
Sexual fantasies excite the imagination—and sometimes are better left there.