Understanding Embarrassment

Embarrassment is a painful but important emotion. It makes us feel bad about our mistakes so that we don't repeat them, and one of its side effects—blushing—signals to others that we recognize our error and are not cold-hearted or oblivious. Shame, a related emotion, can be felt even when no one knows about a slip-up. Guilt tends to focus on what one has done, rather than who one is.

Recent posts on Embarrassment

Asian Shame & Perfectionism

By Sam Louie MA, LMHC on September 23, 2017 in Minority Report
Asian shame can impact perfectionism. Whether it's the drive to succeed academically, vocationally, or relationally...the deeper fear with Asian perfectionism is being rejected...
Pixabay

Hate Shame: The Emotional Roller Coaster

By Sue Scheff on September 19, 2017 in Shame Nation
With technology, hate speech and online cruelty are magnified. No one escapes the target of the narcissist troll. How can we rebuild empathy online?
Darlene Lancer

How to Spot Narcissistic Abuse

By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT on September 17, 2017 in Toxic Relationships
Narcissists don’t really love themselves, but are driven by shame. Their coping mechanisms are abusive and damage relationships and loved ones–hence the term, “narcissistic abuse.”

Moving from Fault to Cause

By Miki Kashtan Ph.D. on September 14, 2017 in Acquired Spontaneity
I am confident that fighting back, name calling, shaming, denouncing, and other similar tactics recently are feeding rather than quelling this upsurge of white supremacy.
DepositPhotos/VIA Institute

A Brand New Way to Understand Social Anxiety

By Ryan M. Niemiec Psy.D. on September 12, 2017 in What Matters Most?
Think you know what social anxiety is? This post proves you do not. You'll see social anxiety in an new, helpful way...actually in 6 new and helpful ways.

Becoming a Patient

Ever wonder why physicians delay going for help for themselves? Here are some answers.

Therapy for Borderline Personality: Why It Takes So Long

By David M. Allen M.D. on September 08, 2017 in A Matter of Personality
Understandable mistrust of the therapist, along with fear, shame and complex interactions with family members, make psychotherapy with BPD patients very complicated.

What Is It Like to Be a Sex Addict?

Sex addiction is not a joke, and it’s not enjoyable.

De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts

By Tara Brach Ph.D. on September 05, 2017 in Finding True Refuge
To the degree that our basic needs are unmet, desire contracts and we become fixated on substitutes. But, no matter how we are caught, mindfulness and compassion can free us...

Embarrassment, Guilt, and Shame

Our possibilities for cooperating depend on respecting other people and courting their regard. Embarrassment, guilt, and shame keep us attentive to those concerns.

5 Ways to Heal from Online Shame and Digital Hate

By Sue Scheff on September 01, 2017 in Shame Nation
Incivility online is growing as empathy is dipping, and more adults are becoming victims of online shaming and digital hate. Learn five ways to rebound.
Pixabay

Treating Nazis: Analytic Considerations on Hate

By Karen L Smith MSS, LCSW on August 28, 2017 in Full Living
Hate is a normal part of the human condition. What separates us from those in hate groups is we had a childhood that helped us learn how to manage our feelings.

Overcoming Religious Sexual Shame

By David J Ley Ph.D. on August 23, 2017 in Women Who Stray
The purity movement has traumatized a generation, teaching them to fear and hate their own bodies. But therapists are now exploring ways to help people overcome this miseducation.

What If Your Parents Were Just Not That Into You?

What if your parents were just not that into you? The lifelong effects of childhood neglect.

The Secret Life of Procrastinators and the Stigma of Delay

Rather than shame procrastinators for the way they get things done, let's understand motivational style differences.

Sexual Disorientation of Male Sexual Abuse Survivors

Sexual abuse disorients you; it does not orient you. Consider straight men who have sex with men due to childhood sexual abuse.

5 Ways to Turn Mistakes Into Valuable Life Lessons

You can gain a lot of wisdom from your mistakes. Here's how to learn the most from your blunders.
Andrew Agaloos/Flikr

Nine Ways to Fight Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome comes in many different types and flavors. Identify these and learn how to overcome this mindset.

Shoe Shaming in the Strictest School in Britain

Merchants’ Academy was called the strictest school in Britain, a tough label for a good school. But Merchants’ may not make it easy for itself by using shame to enforce behavior.

What Is the Sexiest Emotion for Men to Display?

By Alec Beall, Ph.D. on July 27, 2017 in Aesthetics 101
Why are bad boys so dreamy? Emotion research may help to explain.

Cultural Humility

The United States' relationships with other cultures have declined. Cultural humility can help correct this.

Uncovering Hidden Causes of Indecision

By Kimberly Key on July 24, 2017 in Counseling Keys
There is nothing more frustrating and disempowering than not being able to make a decision. Here are some tips for helping you find your desires and voice your truth.

Procrastination Is Not to Blame

The shame of defeat can challenge our potential to look with interest at what has happened and to learn from it.
RelaxingMusic/Flikr

Mindfulness for Beginners

Mindfulness is all the rage, and with a promise to improve concentration, mood, and energy, reduce stress, improve immune function, and even fight obesity, it should be.

The Ordinary Courage of Being Our Selves

If we want to live full, rich lives, we must take the risk to override the shame and to be fully in relationship with others and the word.

Shame of Our Cities: Neglect of the Mentally Ill

By Allen J Frances M.D. on July 07, 2017 in Saving Normal
A step-by-step comparison illustrates that the United States is the worst place in the world to be mentally ill and that Trieste is the best.

How to Overcome Body Shame

By Caitlin Cantor LCSW, CST on July 05, 2017 in Modern Sex
Do you suffer with painful thoughts and feelings about your body? Start practicing new ways of relating to yourself to lessen shame and strengthen compassion for your body.

How to Avoid Creeping Women Out

When it comes to looking like a creep, the bar is set a lot lower for men. Here's why, along with some advice.

Is Sexual Shame Worth Preserving?

By David J Ley Ph.D. on July 03, 2017 in Women Who Stray
Advice columnist Dan Savage shares his experiences and views of sexual shaming. Some of it will surprise you.