Dealing with Domestic Violence

Domestic violence can affect anyone of any age or gender. Whether it's physical or psychological, domestic abuse is destructive for both the battered and the batterer. Its tendency to be passed down over generations makes it all the more important that we develop effective methods for combating abuse.

Recent Posts on Domestic Violence

Does Psychology Reveal Why Women Stay With Abusive Men?

Every minute, one case of domestic violence is reported to the police in the United Kingdom. This often hidden crime is frequently 'normalised' or made light of, by perpetrators.

Abuse That’s Hard to Recognize: Coercive Control

By Lisa Fontes Ph.D. on August 26, 2015 in Invisible Chains
Recognize abusive control in relationships

Read Any Good Psychology Books Lately?

By Sherry Hamby Ph.D. on August 25, 2015 in The Web of Violence
The Data Doctor gets asked about reading recommendations from a former student.

Want Your Relationship to Work? Give Up Yelling

By Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. on August 21, 2015 in Emotional Fitness
By giving up yelling, you are giving a gift to those around you, and you are giving a gift to yourself, because yelling actually sends uncomfortable feelings throughout your brain and body. Now you can relax and enjoy your days, knowing that you have removed this destructive habit.

Does Your Partner Have Rage Attacks? Here's What to Do

If, for whatever reason—or possibly no good reason at all—your partner is blasting you, what do you need to do? Granted, many therapists would simply suggest that you leave the scene. For, as a matter of personal dignity and respect, you’re hardly obliged to tolerate such abuse. But although such a response is warranted, it can actually be dangerous. . . .

A Mom-tervention

How do you find the courage to resist a bully? My cousin found it when her mother urgently needed protection from her father. They tried to sneak away when he wasn't looking, but the cat escaped and my cousin had to go back and face her Dad. In that moment, she learned to believe in her power to set boundaries. She will enjoy that skill forever.

Women We Love to Hate—and Why We Hate Them

By Scott A. Bonn Ph.D. on August 10, 2015 in Wicked Deeds
When a pretty, young, white woman is charged with premeditated murder it creates intense curiosity because their alleged crimes violate sacred norms of gender, race, and even motherhood. Their trials become media events because the public is shocked and outraged by the actions of these norm violating females.

A Positive Template for Ending Marital Fights

By Jeffery S Smith M.D. on August 09, 2015 in Healing and Growing
When marital fighting is hard to stop, then a having a positive template can make it easier to stop the arguing.

Schismo….what?

Trusting the possibility of reconciling even the most difficult of relationship impasses and knowing what that process entails, gives us the hopefulness and motivation to develop and practice new skills.

Who Should Own A Gun?

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on August 03, 2015 in Media Spotlight
Are there specific guidelines for mental health professionals to follow in judging the risk of allowing certain people to own guns? A new article published in the journal Professional Psychology: Research and Practice provides practical guidelines for firearm assessments and the sort of questions that professionals should ask prospective gun owners.

Why Can Domestic Violence Get Passed From Parent to Child?

It can be hard to understand why a child who is exposed to domestic violence might go on to experience violence in later adult relationships.

Could Women Be as Violent as Men?

The Data Doctor answers a question about gender patterns in domestic violence and whether women could really be as violent as men.I also briefly comment on the Hoffman report regarding APA collusion in waterboarding and other torture post 9/11.

Can Abuse Be Invisible?

By Craig Malkin PhD on July 12, 2015 in Romance Redux
All abuse has a legacy. If we want to end emotional abuse, we can start by educating people about what it is and how it works.

Are Gay & Lesbian Couples as Violent as Straight Couples?

As we achieve marriage equality for LGBTQ and heterosexual couples, the Data Doctor answers a question about the dark side of relationships.

"Love Hormone" Oxytocin Linked to Domestic Violence

Oxytocin, which leads to trust and attachment, may also lead to possessive and abusive behaviours.

The Diseased States of America

By Stanton Peele on June 23, 2015 in Addiction in Society
If addictions are life-long diseases, we're all doomed.

Identifying The Next Mass Murderer—Before It’s Too Late

By Joe Navarro M.A. on June 21, 2015 in Spycatcher
We average 20 mass murders a year—what can be done?

Ask the Data Doctor

Sorting through science have you feeling achy and blue? Let the Data Doctor decipher the data for you. I help researchers, practitioners, students, and policy makers make sense of science on violence, victimization, resilience, and related psychological topics.

Come Here-Go Away; the Dynamics of Fearful Attachment

Adults “fearful” attachment styles feel lonely and want closeness in relationships; at the same time, they are avoid close relationships because of possible rejection or emotional injury. Learn how understanding this style can free you of the tyranny of your emotions so that you can live with intent. You can also learn to love and help your loved ones with this style.

The Sad Case of The Duggars

How The Duggars Situation Contributed To Sex Abuse

A Select Assortment of Books and More

Not every worthy book or DVD gets the attention it deserves. Here are a few you might otherwise miss.

Boxing and Domestic Abuse

Why boxing is not a causal factor behind domestic abuse

I Have To Leave My Kids:Help

What To Do When You Feel Trapped At Home

8 Reasons It's So Hard to Overcome a Tough Childhood

Trauma experienced in childhood has special power to wound and can often lead to alcohol and drug use as a way to numb the pain or, conversely, to feel something, as those of us in the addiction treatment field know too well. But help is available and the recovery process can be helped along with an understanding of the things that so commonly get in the way of healing.

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, MD, Inaugurated

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy's inaugural speech calls for civic leaders to ignite discussions on mental health, and to bring the topic "out of the shadows".

Why You Can’t Reason with a Verbally Abusive Partner

Verbal abuse can be ever so subtle. Yet it leaves the victim of the abuse in a lot of pain and confusion. Believing in a different reality where people reason and communicate in rational ways with each other, the victim of the abuse tries to make sense of her abuser’s treatment of her. That is the wrong way to deal with this type of abuse.

Harming the Innocent to Punish the Guilty

By Peter Toohey on April 16, 2015 in Annals of the Emotions
There are three harrowing stories here, one modern concerning Katherine Knight, and two from Greek mythology concerning Procne and Atreus. Mental derangement, jealousy and resentment, and profoundly dysfunctional families are at the heart of the cannibalistic stories. They dramatize the harm that is inflicted on the innocent in order to punish the apparently guilty.

Kicking an Abuser Out of Your Life, and Out of Your Head

Kicking an Abuser Out of Your Life, and Out of Your Head. Ending an abusive relationship requires leaving physically and psychologically. By Avigail Gordon , M.A.

When Did “Victim” Become a Bad Word?

Our culture discourages people from acknowledging and/or talking about a victim's suffering. Many people feel embarrassed when they feel bad.. It’s as if they’ve done something wrong—as if their personality or their character has failed them in some way. It’s no wonder that many victims believe that to acknowledge their pain and suffering is to “feel sorry for themselves.”