Dealing with Divorce

The dissolution of a marriage is almost always an unhappy event, at the very least marked by disappointment and the loss of dreams and expectations. In addition, there are usually many legal, financial, parental, emotional, and practical aspects that requires changes in responsibilities and routines, and it can take people years to regain equilibrium. Nevertheless, divorce serves an important function in legally—and emotionally—freeing people to form a more stable relationship.

One of the most significant events of the 20th century was the changing role and improving status of women in private and public life, along with greater expectations for happiness. Those same changes brought about a much talked-about rise in divorce rates and liberalization of divorce laws. Infidelity and financial upheavals are significant causes of divorce, but the major causes are emotional; partners grow emotionally distant, experience disappointments because of unmet (and often unrealistic) expectations, or develop separate visions of life.

The liberalization of divorce laws has fueled non-adversarial approaches to marital dissolution, such as negotiation and mediation. Such practices are especially beneficial for children, for whom divorce is almost always deeply distressing and whose needs are often overlooked in the process.

It is commonly believed that 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, but that is not the case. It is now estimated that only a third of marriages will face dissolution over time. Divorce is on the decline especially among the most educated. Experts believe that is because the educated marry later, when they are more mature and have had some relationship experience.

With marriage now deeply rooted in personal choice, people need an array of skills to work out the inevitable difficulties and disappointments that arise and lead to divorce.

Recent posts on Divorce

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Advice on dealing with separation from a long-time partner.

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By Wendy Paris on February 14, 2017 in Splitopia
Valentine's Day is a chance to celebrate all the people in our lives—including our ex. 

Divorce in Middle Age

The dissolution of a marriage is usually a major life stressor. Yet, it's up to you whether your new life is aimed toward fulfillment and growth or one of regret and stagnation.

Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 11, 2017 in Living Single
Women 50+ who got married got fatter, drank more, and had higher blood pressure than when they were single. Women who divorced got healthier than they were when they were married.
freestocks.org, used with permission

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By Douglas LaBier Ph.D. on February 07, 2017 in The New Resilience
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How the Little Things Make or Break a Relationship

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Men's Mental Health: A Silent Crisis

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Numerous researchers state that there is a silent crisis in men’s mental health. Is this the case? What are the issues and what are the solutions to improve men's mental health?

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How often does it happen that partners decide to put the couple before themselves as individuals?

What Is the Divorce Rate, Really?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on February 02, 2017 in Living Single
Is it true that half of all marriages end in divorce? Is the divorce rate changing over time?

Talking About the Affair

By Michele Weiner-Davis MSW on January 30, 2017 in Divorce Busting
If the betrayed spouse has endless questions about what happened, should he or she ask?

The Emotions of Grief After a Breakup

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Katsiaryna Pakhomava/Shutterstock

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By Wendy Paris on January 25, 2017 in Splitopia
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This blog explores aging polyamorists and their relationships with their children, community engagement, the physical impacts of aging, and divorce.
shutterstock

The Wrong Reason for Staying Married

By Mel Schwartz L.C.S.W. on January 18, 2017 in A Shift of Mind
Are you stuck in a loveless marriage because of a fear of divorce?

12 Tips For Happy, Long-Lasting Relationships

By Gleb Tsipursky Ph.D. on January 18, 2017 in Intentional Insights
Want to make love last? These 12 tips will go a long way.

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Good Divorce Advice: Resist the Urge to Compare

By Wendy Paris on January 17, 2017 in Splitopia
It can be hard to avoid negative self-comparison, but you want to remain focused on your own path.

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A person becomes an accomplice in their own dissatisfaction when they always settle for less than what they want.

The Evolutionary Psychology of Divorce

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Combat Anger With Empathy in a Good Divorce

By Wendy Paris on January 10, 2017 in Splitopia
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” -The Buddha

8 Reasons Why Your Partner Is Having or Had An Affair

By Barbara Greenberg Ph.D. on January 09, 2017 in The Teen Doctor
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My Mom and the Legacy of America's Mom, Florence Henderson

By Ethan Gilsdorf on January 06, 2017 in Geek Pride
Carol Brady, perhaps you set the standard a little too high for mothers like mine in the 1970s.

Binge Watch your Way to Romantic Bliss

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Build Yourself a Divorce Survival Kit

By Wendy Paris on January 03, 2017 in Splitopia
The immediate period of separation can feel like a natural disaster. Prepare a tool kit to stay afloat.

My Divorced Father Is Dating & I Am Jealous

By Barbara Greenberg Ph.D. on January 03, 2017 in The Teen Doctor
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