Dealing with Divorce

The dissolution of a marriage is a legal act that may not always coincide with a couple's emotional tearing asunder. Divorce is typically a painful process for all concerned. While it can take adults time to regain psychological equilibrium, whether or not children ever recover a stable perspective continues to be debated. Post-divorce hostility between adults, in addition to directly harming kids, is a sure indicator that the emotional split is incomplete.

In the U.S., divorce rates have been rising since the beginning of the 20th century, and especially since the 1970s, when no-fault divorce was instituted. Some experts contend that the easing of divorce laws has helped make marriage stronger by rooting it more deeply in personal choice, although it does little to give people the skills needed to work out the inevitable difficulties that arise in marriage.

Recent Posts on Divorce

To Date or Not to Date

By Wendy Paris on July 28, 2015 in Splitopia
We may think that divorce opens the door to a rousing round of nonstop dating, but many people find they need a break between marriage and getting back out there. Taking a break can bring real benefits.

Spiritual Power to Redirect the Impact of Divorce

Children often experience divorce as the death of the family. Parents may draw upon spiritual insight to redefine the family, demonstrating how authentic faith models healthy relating, among other critical qualities to support the child's development of healthy relationships.

Marriage Preparation

The good news is that you don’t have to have had a great track record in the relationship department or in your personal family experience in order to develop the skills and character traits that enhance the likelihood of success in relationships.

Toward a More Civil Divorce

By Liza Long on July 16, 2015 in The Accidental Advocate
In a high-conflict divorce, both adults share the blame. But the adversarial family court system doesn't do much to help parents or their children. My thoughts as a mother on the three Michigan children sent to juvenile detention for refusing lunch with their father: it's just lunch.

Deals, Divorce, Direction: Off-Label Uses for Psychoanalysis

By Wednesday Martin Ph.D. on July 16, 2015 in Stepmonster
The future of psychoanalysis and talk therapy might look like this....

10 Ways the Children of Single Parents Defy All Stereotypes

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on July 15, 2015 in Living Single
Here are 10 stereotype-defying scientifically-based facts about the children of single parents. Sometimes they do even better than the children of married parents. How is that possible?

Seven Challenges of Being a Single Mom

Other moms grapple with exactly the same issues – from self-doubt and anxiety over money to the stress of making decisions alone – and they've come up with some creative solutions that may work for you too.

When Your "Inner Child" Hijacks Your Adult Relationships

When “little you” goes unchecked, destructive relationship dynamics can wreak havoc on your adult life. Here are 4 examples of dysfunctional inner child patterns and how to better access the ‘adult you.’

Divorce and Separation: Maybe Good For Your Health?

New research shows that divorce, separation, and cohabitation, even, have no negative impact on people's health. In fact, some long-term health benefits were found. With increasing numbers of unconventional relationships, it's important to examine their impact on psychological health, as well.

Can a Couples Counselor Help With Your Divorce?

By Wendy Paris on July 14, 2015 in Splitopia
Divorce counseling can be surprisingly effective. For some, it works better than marriage counseling.

Life After Divorce

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on July 13, 2015 in Media Spotlight
A new research study published in the Journal of Family Psychology examines the psychological impact of divorce as part of a nationwide study of middle-aged adults across the United States. Results show divorce is often stressful but the impact it has on later life satisfaction often depends on the kind of marriage people had before.

Recent Advances in Understanding Parental Alienation

Mistaken beliefs about the genesis of parental alienation and appropriate remedies have shaped both socio-legal policy and therapeutic and legal practice in ways that have failed to meet children’s needs during and after parental separation, and therefore are contrary to the principle of the best interest of the child.

Top 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Most of us want to meet and settle down with the “right” person, and most of us want such a relationship to last. At the same time, the majority of romantic partnerships end in dissolution. What are some of the major causes? Here are ten common reasons why relationships fail...

Is Love Really All You Need?

The Beatles were on the money with almost all of their songs, but on this one, I’m afraid that they got it wrong.

Gay Marriage: Where Politics Meets Matters of the Heart

Well, now we’ve got marriage equality. And with it, we’ve also got marriage—with all of its ups and downs and psychological challenges.

After Divorce: Ten Principles for Parenting

Divorce can disrupt a child’s life and development, but the basic principles of good parenting hold true through the challenges. Current research shows that most children are beginning to function reasonably well within two years after their parents' divorce. Some kids even benefit, especially those whose pre-divorce family included fear, chaos, unpredictability, or abuse.

Is Technoference Wrecking Your Love Life?

Electronic devices are reported by many couples to be the source of arguments especially when used during meals and at other times when there is a hope or expectation that there will be an opportunity for meaningful interpersonal relating.

A Crash Course on Gender Differences - Session 8

By Eyal Winter on July 04, 2015 in Feeling Smart
In fact Men Talk More than Women - Read for evidence. Read also about the role the"demand withdrawal" phenomenon that is typical to so many relationships shapes this myth.

Garner, Affleck, Marital Therapy, and Divorce

The tabloids exploded with curiosity and innuendo of terrible trouble once Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were discovered going to a marital therapist. Now with a pending divorce, people’s worst fears are confirmed. Apparently if your spouse suggests therapy, it is a last ditch effort or a way to tell you it’s over. So teaches Hollywood. But is it?

4 Steps to Leave a Narcissist

By Judith Orloff M.D. on June 30, 2015 in Emotional Freedom
On the surface narcissists can seem charming, intelligent, caring—knowing how to entice and lure their way back into your life. But once they reel you back then they revert to their egotistical selves.

Do This One Thing If You Want To Heal Faster From Divorce

How is it that being with others in the same boat can help so much?

The Most Compassionate Way to End a Relationship

Ending a relationship involves pain for both partners, regardless of who initiates the breakup. Although the well-known song proclaims there are 50 ways to leave your lover, the literature identifies 47. People high in compassionate love will be the most likely to use the least painful of these breakup strategies.

4 Things You Can't Do When You Fight With Your Partner

By Amie M. Gordon PhD on June 30, 2015 in Between You and Me
The last time you got into a fight, how did you act? Did you criticize or roll your eyes as you sat in stony silence? Did you get defensive? Or maybe you were able to joke around and lighten the mood. Although everyone fights, people differ in how they deal with conflict. And it turns out that how we deal with conflict says a lot about the future of our relationships.

Can Technology Improve Divorce?

By Wendy Paris on June 30, 2015 in Splitopia
Technology has improved divorce in many ways, such as by allowing people to learn the laws in their state without ever leaving the living room. One website promises to help you choose the right professionals by "crunching" the details of your dissolution style, and steering you toward a customized support team.

Stories of Seclusion: After A Face Lift

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on June 26, 2015 in How To Do Life
The weeks of seclusion after a face lift are scary and high-stakes.

Creating a Home Alone, After Divorce

By Wendy Paris on June 23, 2015 in Splitopia
While it can seem sad and overwhelming to create a home alone after co-habitating with a spouse or partner, it’s also a chance to choose new décor, a new abode or even a new city that better supports and reflects you.

Couples 101: The Emotional Dance of Intimacy

Most couples start their relationships with starry dreams and positive expectations. But, sometimes relationship patterns develop that leave us feeling resentful and stuck. Understanding your own and your partner’s attachment style can help you negotiate this emotional dance with grace, and develop patterns that allow you to have the relationship you want and deserve.

Strange Bedfellows: Love and War

By E E Smith on June 21, 2015 in Not Born Yesterday
The month of June is traditionally the time for weddings. Newspapers, magazines, and all forms of social media are teeming with photos of beaming grooms and blushing brides. Wait a minute. Do brides still blush? Somehow, I doubt it.

What Divorced Dads Really Want for Father’s Day

By Guest Bloggers on June 16, 2015 in The Guest Room
If we want authentic relationships with our children, we have to begin by being authentic ourselves.

How to Talk to an Ex

By Wendy Paris on June 16, 2015 in Splitopia
How should you talk to an ex? Ideally, as you would to a spouse, but better. Two easy ways to improve post-marriage communication.