All About Caregiving

In a 2004 national survey, the AARP found that 44.4 million Americans are providing unpaid care to an adult, and the estimated annual value is $257 billion. To do so is a beautiful act of love and devotion, but also a great drain on one's physical and psychological resources.

Recent Posts on Caregiving

"Should I or Shouldn’t I?" The Dilemmas of Chronic Illness

I’m aware that those of us who struggle with our health don’t have a monopoly on being faced with dilemmas in life. We do, however, tend to share the same ones.

Valentine's Day—Love's Amateur Night

Valentine’s Day provides an opportunity to test the waters and see what it might be like if we allowed the intimacy and vulnerability of our partnership to happen every day.

Loving Valentine's Day While Divorced or Single

By Wendy Paris on February 09, 2016 Splitopia
We can enjoy this holiday by expanding our notion of love. Rather than ignoring it or making cynical remarks, take an open-hearted attitude and celebrate love more broadly.

Who Wipes Who? Life After Depends

By Eliezer Sobel on February 08, 2016 The 99th Monkey
Although I knew it wasn’t really the “right” thing to think, I was nevertheless secretly grateful to Alzheimer’s; it had allowed for the healing of my relationship with my mother.

Worshipping Ancestors, Resenting Parents

By Mark Borigini M.D. on February 07, 2016 Overcoming Pain
In fact, one in two Chinese-American adults experience symptoms of depression and anxiety as a result of caring for elderly parents, according to a report on filial piety.

Hey CDC, You Forgot About Dads!

By Darby Saxbe Ph.D. on February 07, 2016 Home Base
It's important to protect infants from alcohol exposure. But it's not the sole responsibility of women.

Whose Money Is It Anyway?

When it comes to discussing the topics of inheritance and finances, it's never too early to start this important conversation.

5 Steps to a Better Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is a day that can be fraught with and weighed down by expectations. Perhaps we can mitigate potential problems by prepping for it together.

Relationships: Being Close Without Becoming Too Close

Without realizing it, do we think about relationships in outmoded 20th Century terms? How can we adjust our thinking to accommodate the array of options available now?

Beware of Performers Bearing Gifts

Being generous is, of course, a wonderful quality. It is also the sheep’s clothes of irrelationship, allowing us to hide our anxiety about being close to others.

Eating Right in 2016: Still "Women's Work"?

Men and women approach food differently. Here's why.

A Day in the Life with Chronic Illness

Chronic pain and illness don't affect everyone the same way. That said, I’ve heard from people all over the world and our day-to-day lives are strikingly similar.

Discovering Your Defense Against The World

Irrelationship is a joint psychological defense system, but how does our interaction with the world shape our relationship with ourself?

Don't Say These 5 Things Before Somebody Leaves

You'll be recalled with more affection, respect and warmth if you're remembered with a cheering smile and not with sobs, snivels and the dry-heaves.

Inter-generational Games Night

By Darcia Narvaez Ph.D. on January 02, 2016 Moral Landscapes
Just imagine playing board games, cards, and hanging out with seniors, neighbors, children, preteens, teens, and other adults. This scene is something that can happen anywhere in A

Performance Accountability: A New Parenting Model for 2016

Performance accountability for children, what it is, and specifically how to use this high-value tool is just and compassionate parenting. This article outlines the steps.

The Fourth Care Commitment

Presumably, death has meaning to animals themselves. The death of an animal can also be profoundly meaningful to their human companions.

Deep Into the Darkness On Pluto

By Greg O'Brien on December 18, 2015 On Pluto
The stress from Alzheimer's for patient and caregiver is a deadening deep into the darkness. One never knows who's going to show up in the early stages of the disease.

The Third Care Commitment

If you are the caregiver for an ill animal, watch for signs of burnout. Remember that caring for an animal means also caring for yourself.

Concussion — Still Struggling to Function?

Are you still struggling with symptoms of a concussion? There is help.

Working and Living Through What Irrelationship Represses

This is the story of how two men—after a decade of struggling to reject their feelings for each other—love, work and love through irrelationship together.

Sonia Lea: Sex, Love, and Honesty

By Jennifer Haupt on December 07, 2015 One True Thing
"My husband went into surgery for a rare cancer and came out without any memories of our life... After twenty-three years of marriage, he awoke without his sexual history."

Two Sides to Repression in Irrelationship: A Different View

Irrelationship can most certainly serve as a jointly created means of keeping the repressed—well—repressed.

A Holiday Letter to Loved Ones from the Chronically Ill

It’s a hard time of year for me, and so I thought I’d write a holiday letter, but not the usual “here’s-what-I-did-this-year” kind.

Developing Co-parenting Plans for the Holidays

Because the added stress of holidays can lead to heightened parental conflict, it is vitally important that parents make a concerted effort to cooperate for their children's sake.

More Indispensables for Those With Chronic Pain and Illness

My "comfort food" is a cup of decaf coffee with cocoa powder, stevia, and coconut milk in it...

5 Things They Don't Tell You About Grief

Worried you aren't grieving the "right" way? There are some parts of the grief process that people don't like to talk about.

Happy Holidays—Or Else!

Being haunted by the idea that other people are “better” at holiday celebrations than we are can drive us to “fix” our own family’s time together. But this preoccupation with “getting it right” can become an emotional wedge between ourselves and those we’re trying to please.

How Depression Prepared Me For A Death In The Family

By Tom Wootton on November 17, 2015 Bipolar Advantage
If I did not understand how to function during depression or, worse yet, still clung to the notion that it is not possible, I would have been a burden to my family instead of an asset. Most people fear they will break down and become a burden on those around them or that their bipolar loved ones will break down and add to the already difficult situation.

Our Families: What's Missing?

By Bella DePaulo Ph.D. on November 15, 2015 Living Single
In this guest post, sociologist Joshua Gamson takes a look at the beautifully produced Tylenol ads celebrating family diversity, and explores what's missing or hidden.