Understanding Bullying

Bullying is a distinctive pattern of deliberately harming and humiliating others. It's a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want—at least at first. Bullies are made, not born, and it happens at an early age, if the normal aggression of 2-year-olds isn't handled well.

Bullies couldn't exist without victims, and they don't pick on just anyone; those singled out lack assertiveness and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully. No one likes a bully, but no one likes a victim either. Grown-up bullies wreak havoc in their relationships and in the workplace.

Children grow up without the kinds of experiences that lead to the development of social skills, and free play is on the decline. It's in playing with peers, without adult monitoring, that children develop the skills that make them well-liked by age-mates and learn how to solve social problems.

Recent posts on Bullying

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Are Employees Being Asked to Do More Illegitimate Tasks?

By Neil J Lavender Ph.D. on July 26, 2016 in Beyond Bullying
Corporations are now heaping on the workload!

I'm a Teen Mom With Mother Problems

How to deal with a controlling mother

The Most Important Thing About Bullying Prevention

What is your mantra for bringing an end to bullying—in seven words or less?

Is Civility Dead in America?

We are living in a more uncivil community. From presidential politics to random internet comments there is more demeaning and insulting behavior out there. But we can stop it.

3 Reasons Why Parents Let Their Kids Bully Them

Do you let your kid push you around? Here's how your childhood set you up to be bullied by your children.

Branding Tattoos Use Ink to Violate Women

Tattoo branding has become a popular form of violence against women.

The Gaslighted Child

By Peg Streep on July 07, 2016 in Tech Support
Our culture is resistant to the idea that some mothers actively undermine their children. That resistance doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

8 Traits of Toxic Leadership to Avoid

By Jean Kim M.D. on July 06, 2016 in Culture Shrink
Workplace emotional health depends heavily on leadership. These are 8 bad boss behaviors to watch out for that can lead to stress in the workplace.

My Therapist Mother Treats Me Like A Patient

How To Survive A Therapist Parent

Children Will See and Learn

How do we help teens, grow and thrive in healthy ways? Establish gender-neutral standards for behavior and enforce rules uniformly. Don't give in to bullying.

A Bully's Brain Perceives Subordinating Others as a "Reward"

New research has pinpointed the neurobiological roots of bullying and offers clues on how to break the cycle of anger-fueled aggression.

Lessons From the Past

During the Stanford Prison Experiment I unwittingly became my own research "subject.” But the SPE drove me to extensively pursue the question: Why do good people do evil things?

Recovery From Bullying Is a Lifelong Process

By Kimberly Key on June 28, 2016 in Counseling Keys
Bullying happens anywhere and at any time in life. It has long-term effects and touches everyone—from the victim to the onlooker and the bully. Learn myths and what you can do.

11 Ways to Deal With a Critical Mother

What to do about a critical mother

Typecast as "Trump"

By Jonathan D Moreno Ph.D on June 28, 2016 in Impromptu Man
Trump has created a character he can't escape.

Donald Trump's Personality vs. the U.S. Constitution

By Stanton Peele on June 26, 2016 in Addiction in Society
Donald Trump's bullying/narcissistic personality puts him on an opposition course with the U.S. Constitution.

Dominance and Submission in the Corporate Jungle

Have you been publicly humiliated into compliance by a condescending boss in a nasty work environment? Welcome to dominance and submission in the corporate jungle. What do you do?
VGstockstudio/Shutterstock

6 Subtle Ways a Partner Can Bully You

Does your partner bully you? These are some of the more insidious tactics a person might use to control you.

When to Sweat the Small Stuff

Want to end bullying? Talking about kindness isn’t the same thing as being kind.

Terrorism, the Sociopath, and Shame

By Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on June 17, 2016 in Shame
A bully and a domestic abuser, Omar Mateen was likely driven by a personal sense of core shame, confused with the perceived humiliation of Muslims at the hands of the West.

Bullying at Work

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on June 14, 2016 in A Sideways View
What does it mean to be bullied? Why is it so ripe in some organisations yet so rare in others?

I Think My Mother Is Paranoid

How to cope with an angry mother.

Narcissism and Cyberbullying in Online Dating

Gay and straight online daters have different cyberbullying experiences, especially when you account for their narcissism.

One Surefire Way to Reduce Bullying

By Susan Newman Ph.D. on June 07, 2016 in Singletons
How to change children’s “all-about-me” attitudes into empathetic actions.
Wikipedia Commons

Election Season 2016, Stop the Bullying

By Judith Miller Ph.D. on June 06, 2016 in Mind and Heart
It is more important than ever to heal the divisions existing today. Respecting views held by all our fellow citizens is a necessary step toward individual and societal well-being.

Where Are Bystander Interventions to Trump's Bullying?

In this reversal, the true ‘bystanders’ are Trump’s supporters, who rally behind the victim-turned-avenger, standing up to the henchmen of the liberal bullies—the liberal press.

A Frog Is Dropped Into Boiling Water

Are you not sure if you are in an abusive relationship or not?

An Extra Shot of Logic to the Teen Incident at Starbucks

By Deborah J. Cohan, Ph.D. on June 05, 2016 in Social Lights
Rethinking Michelle Icard’s note to the teen girls at Starbucks.

How Donald Trump Keeps Psyching Everyone Out

Trump rushes in where wise men (and women) fear to tread, because he really doesn't care if he loses, whereas a lifetime politician cares too much.

What Is Up With Cyber-Bullying?

By Janet Hicks Ph.D. on June 03, 2016 in Raising Parents
What do most parents ask about cyber-bullying? These answers explain the changing tide of bullying.