All About Assertiveness

Demonstrating assertiveness means there's no question where you stand, no matter the topic. Cognitively, to be assertive implies a lack of anxious thoughts in light of stress. Behaviorally, assertiveness is all about asking for what you want in a manner that respects others. Assertive people don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others. In terms of affect, assertiveness means reacting to positive and negative emotions without aggression or resorting to passivity.

Recent posts on Assertiveness

Courage and Conscience in Today's America

By Brenda Berger Ph.D. on September 15, 2017 in Hearts and Minds
Whatever happened to the home of the free and the brave?

How Mentally Strong People Respond to Snarky Comments

Studies show snarky behavior can spread. Here's how to stay strong when you're dealing with sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments, and backhanded compliments.

Obverse Psychology: A Better Response to Know-It-Alls

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on September 12, 2017 in Ambigamy
How to respond to someone who reverses or deflects every challenge, always claiming the "correct" side of the coin for themselves? You expose how we're all dealing with both sides.

Gender Differences Among Adults in Business School

By Art Markman Ph.D. on September 12, 2017 in Ulterior Motives
Over the last several decades there has been concern about gender differences in performance in school in a variety of topics. What about school performance of adults?

When Your Boss Is Irrational

How to keep your cool and your job.

Want to Be More Assertive at Work? Do These Four Things

By Andy Molinsky Ph.D. on August 26, 2017 in Adaptation
Follow these tips and you'll be on your way to getting what you deserve.

Say It Isn’t So: Women and Stereotyping

We tend to minimize the roles that gender differences, socialization, and discrimination play in maintaining the status quo in the workplace.

10 Signs You're a People-Pleaser

Being agreeable and cooperative is a good thing. But being subservient could backfire.

There Is No Real Therapy Without Assessment

Therapy is ongoing assessment and assessment is ongoing case formulation.

Beware: On a First Date, Red Flags Can Look Red Hot

Beware dangerous liaisons. On a first date, exciting, assertive people perceived as desirable might be dangerous. Get to know prospective partners before getting involved.

Do You Ask for What You Want?

By Atalanta Beaumont on August 11, 2017 in Handy Hints for Humans
Ask for what you want, and surprise yourself by how often you get it.

How to Help Kids Manage Anger

Are you feeling embarrassed or baffled by your child's way of handling anger? You're not alone. Here's how to help.
Carl Pickhardt Ph.D.

Motivating Your Adolescent to Exercise

Regular physical exercise is a self-investment that provides many positive personal returns in adolescence.

Is Wonder Women an Expression of Androgynous Power?

For a woman, using power can be tricky. She risks being perceived as pushy and aggressive—after all, power is openly expected to be excised by men.

Uncovering Hidden Causes of Indecision

By Kimberly Key on July 24, 2017 in Counseling Keys
There is nothing more frustrating and disempowering than not being able to make a decision. Here are some tips for helping you find your desires and voice your truth.

Listening For Golf Balls

Why do patients tell doctors things that don't seem relevant? Who cares if they got hit by a golf ball 30 years ago? Patients do! Doctors should too. But they have to listen.

Your Personal Independence Day

It's Independence Day! Time to declare your own freedom from (psychological) bondage

The Ugly Truth About Silencing Women

By Renee Engeln Ph.D. on July 05, 2017 in Beauty Sick
When we ignore what women say in order to focus on how they look, we stifle meaningful debate and feed a culture that is already too saturated with appearance-driven commentary.

Seven Agreeable Ways to Be Disagreeable

When we know how to use our defiance wisely, we can move mountains. Unhappiness can turn into happiness, failure into success....

What Happens When Women Ask for Sex?

By Donna Barstow on June 30, 2017 in Ink Blots Cartoons
Upending the traditional roles of who wants sex more...will satisfy everyone.

Do You Mate Like a Cavewoman?

By Donna Barstow on June 26, 2017 in Ink Blots Cartoons
If you've never used Darwin in your dating practices before, you're missing out. Cavewomen had multiple orgasms without even trying.
pixabay

A Choose Your Own Adventure Guide to Building Relationships

We build our relationships upon the strengths and weaknesses of our parents, as well as our own. An exercise in discovering the challenges and the keys to overcoming them.

What's Really Going on When Someone Stares at You

Perceiving ourselves to be higher in status can buffer us from feeling intimidated.

How to Keep Disagreements from Becoming Fights

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on June 21, 2017 in Ambigamy
Supreening: posturing or preening like you're the supreme judge deciding who's right—you or your opposition.
Modified Microsoft clipart

Is Your Partner Passive-aggressive?

Passive-aggressive try to block whatever it is you want. You feel their unspoken anger. Learn the signs and what you can do.

Breakthrough or Breakup

A breakdown is a usually unexpected interruption in a relationship that leaves one or both people feeling, upset, angry, disappointed, hurt, or in some way incomplete.

The Vitamin Cocktail of Courage

By Jane Bolton Psy.D., M.F.T., on June 09, 2017 in Your Zesty Self
Choosing to take even tiny courageous actions can be a powerful antidote to toxic shame and a vitamin cocktail for our Zesty Selves. Drink up.

Being Controlled Provokes Anger—so Does Feeling Controlled

Can you distinguish feeling controlled from being controlled? Making this distinction can reduce your vulnverability to anger.

Sexual Harassment

It's 2017, so why are we still talking about sexual harassment? Here's how to talk to the person who needs it the most.

Wonder Woman in the Ring: MMA Fighter Sarah Kaufman

By E. Paul Zehr Ph.D. on May 31, 2017 in Black Belt Brain
Mixed martial arts fighter Sarah Kaufman shares thoughts on life in the ring and the importance of role models like Wonder Woman.