All About Assertiveness

Demonstrating assertiveness means there's no question where you stand, no matter the topic. Cognitively, to be assertive implies a lack of anxious thoughts in light of stress. Behaviorally, assertiveness is all about asking for what you want in a manner that respects others. Assertive people don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others. In terms of affect, assertiveness means reacting to positive and negative emotions without aggression or resorting to passivity.

Recent posts on Assertiveness

Couples, Go Ahead—Enter Each Other’s “Hurt Museum”

Do you sometimes think you’ve worked through a conflict with your partner, only to have it show up again . . . and again?

Want to Better Yourself? Start Here

By Leslie Becker-Phelps Ph.D. on October 18, 2016 in Making Change
Goals are easy to set, but can feel near impossible to meet. Learn to use self-awareness to harness your inner power to change.

Why Barbie Dolls Matter in the 2016 Presidential Election

For over fifty years the girls and young women of America have been told that we can be anything. But all we’ve really seen is our dolls becoming those things--until now.
Carl Pickhardt Ph.D.

Helping Older Adolescents Evaluate a Love Relationship

The great source of instruction about conducting caring relationships is experience; however, parental guidance can help sort that experience out.

Childhood Sexual Abuse: How Men Can Help Women Recover

By Michael Castleman M.A. on October 17, 2016 in All About Sex
One woman in six has survived child sex abuse. Even years later, men can help them recover. Here's how.

If You Meet a Shark in the Dating Pool, Swim Away!

Beware that "soulmate" feelings may be echoes of former trauma that may lead us into a relationship that will morph into the nightmare of the abusive situation.

What You Said Made Me Feel Bad

By Sharon Praissman on October 07, 2016 in Beyond the Egg Timer
A guest post from one of the authors of the recent parenting book The Danish Way, which is full of fascinating parenting from the country that’s been ranked happiest in the world.

In Defense of Power Poses

The idea that you can get a boost of confidence from posing like a superhero has recently come under fire. While these critiques have merit, so does the original idea.

“You’re SO Controlling!”

By Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. on September 20, 2016 in Evolution of the Self
It’s crucial to realize that though you might feel invaded or exploited by your partner, that doesn't necessarily mean they have the desire to control you. But if they do . . .

Need to Jump-Start Your Spiritual Life?

By Russ Gerber on September 15, 2016 in Our Health
Along life's journey you sometimes need an about-face.

Who's Keeping You Quiet?

By Katherine Hawley Ph.D. on September 15, 2016 in Trust
The best listeners recognize they don't already know it all.

Dating: Whose Relationship Is It Anyway?

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on September 05, 2016 in Fixing Families
It's all too easy when dating to fall into being too accommodating, too reactionary, and taking what you can get. How to break out and make the relationship your own.

Conflict Resolution: Dancing Your Way to Cooperation?

By Seth Slater M.F.A. on August 30, 2016 in The Dolphin Divide
How to avoid a clash of wills in the face of stubbornness. Making the right moves when it counts can head off flared tempers and open conflict.

3 Keys To Finding Balance in Motherhood

Motherhood can be an excuse to give up on your dreams. Writer Yuko Grover offers tips to empower yourself and your children.

How to Raise Your Kids With High—and Healthy—Self-Esteem

This post is about what, as a parent, you do to ensure that your children grow up with a more positive self-image than you yourself may have had when you were young.
L Breuning

Why Winning Feels Good

The facts of our brain’s natural competitiveness have been submerged by a warm and fuzzy view of nature. The truth can help us manage our quirky neurochemical operating system.
by author

Are You a Schlepper or a Schlepee?

Two psychologists on opposite sides of the planet discuss the nature of relationships.

What Is Healthy Helping and Giving?

By Shawn M. Burn Ph.D. on August 01, 2016 in Presence of Mind
Healthy givers have the will and the skill to set appropriate helping and giving boundaries. A new book supplies explanations and solutions for codependence and unhealthy giving.

Does Having a Plan B Sabotage Your Plan A?

Research has found that when you plan for failure, you're basically giving yourself permission not to succeed.

How to Talk About Sex

Having trouble talking about sex with your partner? Some tips for starting the conversation.

Is Civility Dead in America?

We are living in a more uncivil community. From presidential politics to random internet comments there is more demeaning and insulting behavior out there. But we can stop it.
Carl Pickhardt Ph.D.

Identity Experimentation in Early and Mid Adolescence

Adolescence is partly about experimentation with self-definition to try out and find out what identity truly fits.

Vetting the Veep: Image Enhancement or Instrument of Attack

Presidential running mate selection involves a courtship designed to facilitate a marriage of convenience—where the Vice President-to-be has several very important roles.

Do Female Presidents or Prime Ministers Make Any Difference?

...if the percentage of women in the legislature increases by 5 per cent, a state is nearly five times less likely to use violence internationally.

Ask and You Shall Receive

By David Ludden Ph.D. on July 06, 2016 in Talking Apes
Approaching a stranger to ask a favor can be difficult, but refusing a request can be just as hard.

How to Talk About the Things You Don't Want to Talk About

You can learn to talk about difficult subjects with your partner. Doing so is vital to your relationship.
Carl Pickhardt Ph. D.

Conducting Conflict with Your Adolescent

The curriculum of family life teaches the adolescent how to manage significant relationships. Learning how to conduct conflict constructively is one important skill for later on.

6 Polite but Effective Ways to Deal with Unwanted Advice

Use these responses to help you set healthy boundaries with people who offer unsolicited advice.

5 Keys to Handling Judgmental and Opinionated People

Most of us come across judgmental and opinionated people at some points in our lives. Here are five tips on how to effectively handle those who insist on imposing their views...