All About Assertiveness

Demonstrating assertiveness means there's no question where you stand, no matter the topic. Cognitively, to be assertive implies a lack of anxious thoughts in light of stress. Behaviorally, assertiveness is all about asking for what you want in a manner that respects others. Assertive people don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others. In terms of affect, assertiveness means reacting to positive and negative emotions without aggression or resorting to passivity.

Recent Posts on Assertiveness

Blaming the Victim

By William R. Klemm Ph.D. on February 28, 2015 in Memory Medic
"What did we do to make them hate us so much?"

Is Good Psychotherapy Worth the Investment?

By Judith Coche Ph.D., ABPP on February 26, 2015 in No Ordinary Life
Nick, age 55, gets unstuck when he and wife Barbara join together to invest in their own depth therapy to deal with how to feel passion, be more cognitively flexible, and create a happier marriage. They are glad they did.

How to Survive a Slasher Film

By Romeo Vitelli Ph.D. on February 23, 2015 in Media Spotlight
Do you think you're trapped in a slasher film? A new research study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture provides an in-depth look at Final Girls over three decades of slasher films and what it was that enabled them to survive to the end of the movie. The study results may surprise you.

Mastering the Art of Relationship Yoga

You probably didn’t log on to this website to read about yoga, but trust me, there’s a connection between the subject at hand, and the theme of this blog, and that, in fact, is the point of this post, and the point of Yoga: Connection.

Your Health Care, America's Health Care, Today and Tomorrow

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on February 20, 2015 in How To Do Life
The Affordable Care Act/ObamaCare is already causing shortages. How can you cope? What should society do?

How to Break the Bonds of Victimhood and Build Self-Esteem

By Clifford N. Lazarus Ph.D. on February 18, 2015 in Think Well
Here are two simple ways to feel more in control of your life and better about yourself.

For Type 5, 6, & 7 Teens: How to Be a Leader III

By Elizabeth Wagele on February 17, 2015 in The Career Within You
Use the typical strengths of your Enneagram type in your role as leader.

When Love Brings Pain - #2

I struggled to understand my husband until I read "The Power of Two." Now I don't "cross over" into his brain. I speak for myself and respect his ability to speak for himself. What a relief!

Inequality on the Rise? Workers of America Adapt!

By Peter T. Coleman Ph.D. on February 14, 2015 in The Five Percent
The American Dream has been replaced with a nightmare for the working class; the harder you work, and the more jobs you take on, the more you seem to lose ground. So what can a hard working American do to get ahead? Adapt.

Personality Traits of BDSM Practitioners: Another Look

A recent study provides some new insights into the personality traits of dominant and submissive BDSM practitioners. Dominant practitioners seem to be more calm and have a greater desire for control, while submissive ones may be more emotional and introverted. Some questions remain about how these findings compare to previous studies into this fascinating world.

Fifty Shades of Grey Review

By Sari Cooper L.C.S.W. on February 13, 2015 in Sex Esteem
The long anticipated movie has finally hit the screens! Here are some thoughts coming from a Certified Sex Therapist.

Psychological Strength Research That Everybody Needs to Know

By Todd B Kashdan Ph.D. on February 11, 2015 in Curious?
New research puts two psychological treatments of depression to the test. Should we choose a treatment that capitalizes on people's strengths or one that compensates for their deficits and weaknesses? Both make sense. The beauty of science is that we can compare these approaches. Find out the results.

5 Quick and Easy Bull Sandwich Recipes

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on February 10, 2015 in Ambigamy
For years, I've been taking notes on the moves we all can make (me included) to eliminate all doubt about our opinions no matter what they are. Lately, I've begun presenting them humorously as recipes for BS sandwiches. Here are five.

Understanding PTSD, TBI, Suicide and Student Veteran Success

Research shows that the transition from the intensity of military life to a more independent civilian life can be overwhelming. Recognizing and understanding special symptoms supports the important objective of increasing the success of many veteran students on campus. It is important to share this information about the needs of student veterans.

Why Everyone Should Try Being Invisible

In The New York Times, Akiko Busch heralds the virtues of invisibility, contrasting with trends of increasing narcissism. I add my own personal perspective, drawing on Taoism as well as some of my favorite superheroes and comics.

How Do You Like Them Apples?

By Rick Miller LICSW on February 05, 2015 in Unwrapped
Gay men still need role models. And Apple’s CEO Tim Cook has taken his place. A reluctant spokesperson, this powerful gay man leads one of the most innovative organizations on the globe, and leads the way for positive social change.

How to Tell Your Boss How You Feel

By Marcia Reynolds Psy.D. on February 04, 2015 in Wander Woman
Sometimes you need to teach your boss how to best manage you—what motivates you and demotivates you—so you can perform at your best. Here is a technique you can use with tips for making this uncomfortable conversation work in your favor.

Why We Can't Stay Focused During Sex, and Why It Matters

By Noam Shpancer Ph.D. on February 03, 2015 in Insight Therapy
We frequently think about sex when we’re not having it. But when we’re actually having sex, our thoughts often wander, undermining our sexual functioning and enjoyment.

How Can I Be More Assertive?

Being assertive is easier when you have the right attitude.

5 Phrases That Can Kill a Relationship

By Kira Asatryan on January 28, 2015 in The Art of Closeness
Closeness is the antidote to loneliness and you can start creating it right now. Learn how to rephrase your needs, wants, and desires in a way that draws your partner closer.

Life is Too Short to Deal with A-Holes

Everyone can be a jerk sometimes, but what about those who are committed A-holes? We’ve all encountered one and they can make our lives temporarily miserable. Early recognition is the key to coping with and kicking these selfish jerks to the curb.

How Abusive Bosses Can Destroy Teamwork

By Ray Williams on January 24, 2015 in Wired for Success
There is increasing evidence that there is a clear link between bad leaders and employee health and productivity problems, which is turn, can be a huge liability for organizations.

Why Don’t Many Men Show Their Emotions?

By Audrey Nelson Ph.D. on January 24, 2015 in He Speaks, She Speaks
Our fathers pull us aside and tell us to be two-faced: a private face you have outside of the public eye, and a public face that shows no weakness.” Does "Big boys don't cry" and "Take it like a man" sound familiar?

Tough-Love Tips for Career Success

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on January 24, 2015 in How To Do Life
Advice you’d probably not hear but should.

3 Things Being A Cat Person or Dog Person Reveals About You

By Peg Streep on January 19, 2015 in Tech Support
Does knowing whether someone prefers cats to dogs or dogs to cats give you insight into who they are? Should you be asking about pets when you choose a doctor or lawyer, or hire a realtor or a nanny? Here's what science knows.... and you should too.

Five Research-based Tips for Improving Your Body Image

By Shawn M. Burn Ph.D. on January 18, 2015 in Presence of Mind
Body image dissatisfaction is relatively common. Many women and men internalize unrealistic physical standards and base their self-worth on their bodies. A negative body image is bad for our mental and physical health. Fortunately, there are things you can do to feel better about your body. Here are five research-based practical tips for improving your body image.

Five Keys to Career Success

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on January 18, 2015 in How To Do Life
Five tips I like because they're potent but may not be obvious.

Apostles and Terrorists: The Anatomy of Customer Loyalty

By Adrian Furnham Ph.D. on January 17, 2015 in A Sideways View
What makes you a blindly loyal customer of some restaurant or branded food-stuff? What do you do if you get really bad service or buy a product which is a dud? Organisations love the brand-loyal apostle who sings their praises. And they are rightly in fear of the media savvy brand-terrorist who wants to let everyone know how unhappy they have been with their purchase.

How to Tell if You’re in the Wrong Relationship

By Lisa Firestone Ph.D. on January 15, 2015 in Compassion Matters
There are some red flags to look out for, most importantly those that indicate that you or your partner are experiencing an increase in psychological symptoms or a degradation in your ability to function. These would be signs that it may be time to call it quits or, at least, to seek counseling or outside help.

10 Tips for Reducing Anger

By Steven Laurent on January 15, 2015 in Chill Pill
I think some readers may take exception to tip no. 4. And many will struggle with no. 7 (myself included); but it's no reason not to strive for it...