All About Assertiveness

Demonstrating assertiveness means there's no question where you stand, no matter the topic. Cognitively, to be assertive implies a lack of anxious thoughts in light of stress. Behaviorally, assertiveness is all about asking for what you want in a manner that respects others. Assertive people don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others. In terms of affect, assertiveness means reacting to positive and negative emotions without aggression or resorting to passivity.

Recent posts on Assertiveness

How to Complain So Your Partner Listens

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on October 23, 2017 in The Squeaky Wheel
The secret to voicing a complaint without starting an argument.

Sex and the Abuse of Power

By Isadora Alman MFT, CST on October 20, 2017 in Sex & Sociability
Those in power have always seen those below them as theirs for the taking. Perhaps the times finally are changing.

Let’s Put the Focus on Bullying Where It Belongs

By Eric Haseltine Ph.D. on October 20, 2017 in Long Fuse, Big Bang
New research on the importance of bystanders.

Here’s Why We Don’t Speak Up Against Harassment

By Zoe Chance Ph.D. on October 18, 2017 in Make It So
If you're confused about why women don't speak up against harassment, this piece will explain why silence makes sense.

Self-Obsessed but Not Introspective? How Does That Work?

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on October 13, 2017 in Ambigamy
There's a difference between knowing yourself patly and wondering about yourself. The former is more fun, and more dangerous.

Scams, Scandals, and Security Breaches

We may feel bombarded with stories about the lack of ethics, seemingly everywhere. But we can take charge and actively establish rings of trust around us.

Corking 45

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on October 09, 2017 in Ambigamy
Trump is going nowhere until he's humiliated to his face.

A Fresh Start Yet Again

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on October 04, 2017 in How To Do Life
A short-short story about passivity, resilience, and change.
Flickr

Three Steps to Say “No” Gracefully

It can be really hard to say no. Despite my best attempts not to care what other people think of me, I still find myself wanting to be liked.

He Is the Boss, She Is Bossy: The Role of the Media

By Audrey Nelson Ph.D. on October 01, 2017 in He Speaks, She Speaks
Male bosses and co-workers sometimes don’t know what to do with ambitious, goal-oriented women who want leadership positions.

15 Tips to Avoid Damaging Your Voice

By Preston Ni M.S.B.A. on September 29, 2017 in Communication Success
How to avoid damaging your speaking and singing voice.
groupon

Time to Leave Your Therapist?

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on September 23, 2017 in Fixing Families
Therapy is a different kind of relationship but a relationship none-the-less. Like other relationships it's good to periodically step back and see how well it is working

Going From Lonely to Only: Talking with Nilofer Merchant

By Morra Aarons-Mele on September 21, 2017 in Hiding in the Bathroom
Sixty-one percent of people give up, cover, and hide themselves at work. Claim that spot in the world only you stand in.

Courage and Conscience in Today's America

By Brenda Berger Ph.D. on September 15, 2017 in Hearts and Minds
Whatever happened to the home of the free and the brave?

How Mentally Strong People Respond to Snarky Comments

Studies show snarky behavior can spread. Here's how to stay strong when you're dealing with sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments, and backhanded compliments.

Obverse Psychology: A Better Response to Know-It-Alls

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on September 12, 2017 in Ambigamy
How to respond to someone who reverses or deflects every challenge, always claiming the "correct" side of the coin for themselves? You expose how we're all dealing with both sides.

Gender Differences Among Adults in Business School

By Art Markman Ph.D. on September 12, 2017 in Ulterior Motives
Over the last several decades there has been concern about gender differences in performance in school in a variety of topics. What about school performance of adults?

When Your Boss Is Irrational

How to keep your cool and your job.

Want to Be More Assertive at Work? Do These Four Things

By Andy Molinsky Ph.D. on August 26, 2017 in Adaptation
Follow these tips and you'll be on your way to getting what you deserve.

Say It Isn’t So: Women and Stereotyping

We tend to minimize the roles that gender differences, socialization, and discrimination play in maintaining the status quo in the workplace.

10 Signs You're a People-Pleaser

Being agreeable and cooperative is a good thing. But being subservient could backfire.

There Is No Real Therapy Without Assessment

Therapy is ongoing assessment and assessment is ongoing case formulation.

Beware: On a First Date, Red Flags Can Look Red Hot

Beware dangerous liaisons. On a first date, exciting, assertive people perceived as desirable might be dangerous. Get to know prospective partners before getting involved.

Do You Ask for What You Want?

By Atalanta Beaumont on August 11, 2017 in Handy Hints for Humans
Ask for what you want, and surprise yourself by how often you get it.

How to Help Kids Manage Anger

Are you feeling embarrassed or baffled by your child's way of handling anger? You're not alone. Here's how to help.
Carl Pickhardt Ph.D.

Motivating Your Adolescent to Exercise

Regular physical exercise is a self-investment that provides many positive personal returns in adolescence.

Is Wonder Women an Expression of Androgynous Power?

For a woman, using power can be tricky. She risks being perceived as pushy and aggressive—after all, power is openly expected to be excised by men.

Uncovering Hidden Causes of Indecision

By Kimberly Key on July 24, 2017 in Counseling Keys
There is nothing more frustrating and disempowering than not being able to make a decision. Here are some tips for helping you find your desires and voice your truth.

Listening For Golf Balls

Why do patients tell doctors things that don't seem relevant? Who cares if they got hit by a golf ball 30 years ago? Patients do! Doctors should too. But they have to listen.