All About Assertiveness

Demonstrating assertiveness means there's no question where you stand, no matter the topic. Cognitively, to be assertive implies a lack of anxious thoughts in light of stress. Behaviorally, assertiveness is all about asking for what you want in a manner that respects others. Assertive people don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others. In terms of affect, assertiveness means reacting to positive and negative emotions without aggression or resorting to passivity.

Recent posts on Assertiveness

Uncovering Hidden Causes of Indecision

By Kimberly Key on July 24, 2017 in Counseling Keys
There is nothing more frustrating and disempowering than not being able to make a decision. Here are some tips for helping you find your desires and voice your truth.

Listening For Golf Balls

Why do patients tell doctors things that don't seem relevant? Who cares if they got hit by a golf ball 30 years ago? Patients do! Doctors should too. But they have to listen.

Your Personal Independence Day

It's Independence Day! Time to declare your own freedom from (psychological) bondage

The Ugly Truth About Silencing Women

By Renee Engeln Ph.D. on July 05, 2017 in Beauty Sick
When we ignore what women say in order to focus on how they look, we stifle meaningful debate and feed a culture that is already too saturated with appearance-driven commentary.

Seven Agreeable Ways to Be Disagreeable

When we know how to use our defiance wisely, we can move mountains. Unhappiness can turn into happiness, failure into success....

What Happens When Women Ask for Sex?

By Donna Barstow on June 30, 2017 in Ink Blots Cartoons
Upending the traditional roles of who wants sex more...will satisfy everyone.

Do You Mate Like a Cavewoman?

By Donna Barstow on June 26, 2017 in Ink Blots Cartoons
If you've never used Darwin in your dating practices before, you're missing out. Cavewomen had multiple orgasms without even trying.
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A Choose Your Own Adventure Guide to Building Relationships

We build our relationships upon the strengths and weaknesses of our parents, as well as our own. An exercise in discovering the challenges and the keys to overcoming them.

Feeling Powerful Changes How We Respond to Being Stared At

Perceiving ourselves to be higher in status can buffer us from feeling intimidated.

How to Keep Disagreements from Becoming Fights

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on June 21, 2017 in Ambigamy
Supreening: posturing or preening like you're the supreme judge deciding who's right—you or your opposition.
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Is Your Partner Passive-aggressive?

Passive-aggressive try to block whatever it is you want. You feel their unspoken anger. Learn the signs and what you can do.

Breakthrough or Breakup

A breakdown is a usually unexpected interruption in a relationship that leaves one or both people feeling, upset, angry, disappointed, hurt, or in some way incomplete.

The Vitamin Cocktail of Courage

Choosing to take even tiny courageous actions can be a powerful antidote to toxic shame and a vitamin cocktail for our Zesty Selves. Drink up.

Being Controlled Provokes Anger—so Does Feeling Controlled

Can you distinguish feeling controlled from being controlled? Making this distinction can reduce your vulnverability to anger.

Sexual Harassment

It's 2017, so why are we still talking about sexual harassment? Here's how to talk to the person who needs it the most.

Wonder Woman in the Ring: MMA Fighter Sarah Kaufman

By E. Paul Zehr Ph.D. on May 31, 2017 in Black Belt Brain
Mixed martial arts fighter Sarah Kaufman shares thoughts on life in the ring and the importance of role models like Wonder Woman.

False Courage: Why We Pretend We’re Stronger Than We Are

How the art of bluffing helps us stand tall. When courage is called for, a good bluff can turn the tides of fortune and upend expected outcomes.

Are Illusory Agreements The New Trend?

Navigating the treacherous waters created by attorneys for whom the practice of law is nothing more than a game to be won is no easy feat.

Being Parents of a Perfectionist

Being parents of a perfectionist: For some parents it’s a dream, for others a nightmare. For the kids, it trends toward the latter.

10 Ways to Have an Easier Relationship With Your In-Laws

In-law relationships can be very complicated.

What You Need to Know About Relationships and Recovery

It is helpful to resist the urge to "fix" your relationships, and keep the focus on making progress in your recovery. As you do, over time, your relationships will likely improve.

Fathering Fosters Virtuous Aggression

David Hicks explores masculine aggression in a new novel, White Plains, that is engaging, insightful, and funny.
Carl Pickhardt Ph. D.

Adolescents, Parents, and the Power of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem not only defines a person, but that definition can influence perception and motivation to the good or not so good.
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The Pitfalls of Goal Setting

Goal-setting gone wrong can actually result in less happiness, which is the exact opposite of why we set them in the first place.

Gender-Based Interruption and the Supreme Court

A recent study looks at how many times female Supreme Court justices are interrupted by their male counterparts.

How 'Cool Syndrome' Is Killing Our Careers

By Caroline Beaton on April 28, 2017 in The Gen-Y Guide
We're trying to get ahead gently, with style, and it's not working.
Darlene Lancer

Are You Being Manipulated?

Manipulation is veiled influence or hostility that may seem benign, friendly, or flattering. It can be hard to detect and know how to respond, unless you can spot the signs.
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How to Respond Gracefully to Destructive Criticism

6 ways to cope with the critics in your life.

Millennials, This Is Why You Haven't Been Promoted

By Caroline Beaton on April 24, 2017 in The Gen-Y Guide
If you’re ambitious but stuck on Level 1, here are six possible reasons. (Warning, tough love ahead.)

Do Women Need to Play Golf to Succeed in the Corporate World

Golf has become a metaphor for membership dues, and some women simply don’t want to pay the dues.