All About Assertiveness

Demonstrating assertiveness means there's no question where you stand, no matter the topic. Cognitively, to be assertive implies a lack of anxious thoughts in light of stress. Behaviorally, assertiveness is all about asking for what you want in a manner that respects others. Assertive people don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others. In terms of affect, assertiveness means reacting to positive and negative emotions without aggression or resorting to passivity.

Recent posts on Assertiveness

Why the Resentment?

Has your family gotten used to you doing the lions’ share of the work over the holidays? 3 suggestions for navigating your resentment.

Moral Relativism Is Tricky, but Smarter Than the Alternative

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on December 09, 2017 in Ambigamy
When push comes to shove, we dig in our heels, pretending that nature or the supernatural stands for what we stand for. That's a problem worth keeping an eye on.
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Is Your Greatest Strength Limiting Your Life?

Our personalities are like our bodies: They should be developed as part of an organic whole.

For World AIDS Day: Claiming Our Community's Power

By John-Manuel Andriote on November 28, 2017 in Stonewall Strong
There is strength, and resilience, in community. Gay men in the AIDS epidemic built an awesome community.

Guyland 2017: Women Working in a Man's World

Her grandiosity is not enough to cover her shame and the fantasy that she will be regarded as a princess does not truly mitigate the fact that she works like a chambermaid.
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The Seven Most Asked Questions About Gender Communication

By Audrey Nelson Ph.D. on November 26, 2017 in He Speaks, She Speaks
Unless we understand the code of the opposite sex, it makes it difficult to communicate fully with our family, friends, and colleagues.

Interest of Conflict

By Joachim I Krueger Ph.D. on November 23, 2017 in One Among Many
When you are disrespected, do you nip the bud or let it flourish?

‘Tis the Season… for Emotion Regulation

Find yourself falling into familiar traps during holiday togetherness? You can keep your cool and sidestep problems with these tips.
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Relationship Trouble? Go Bold, Not Timid

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on November 19, 2017 in Fixing Families
When problems flare in your relationship, it's easy to try and lay low, to calm the waters. But this is an opportunity to step up, get things on the table, stop going on autopilot.

Six Elements Of Self-Care In Adults With Childhood Trauma

By Grant Hilary Brenner M.D. on November 18, 2017 in ExperiMentations
From childhood to our relationship with ourselves, carrying a negative or empty sense of self makes it learning self-love seem like an impossible bootstrap. Yet it can happen...
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Why Don't Victims of Sexual Harassment Come Forward Sooner?

No wonder victims of sexual harassment keep quiet. It is time we supported them, rather than question them.
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The Nine Ingredients of Great Sex

By Michael Castleman M.A. on November 15, 2017 in All About Sex
It's not that difficult to enjoy great sex. Just incorporate these nine elements into lovemaking.

Preventing Trouble With Houseguests

By Shawn M. Burn Ph.D. on November 08, 2017 in Presence of Mind
Houseguests can be a dream but they can also be experienced as territorial invaders that create stress and strain, especially if we aren't clear about visit boundaries.

Learn How to Argue and “Take the Hit"

By Hal Shorey Ph.D. on November 06, 2017 in The Freedom to Change
It doesn’t take bravery to run away from an argument or to lash out and counterattack. So, learn to fight with honor, address the real issues, and have conflict be productive.

The Meaning of Halloween

Why do we like to be scared on special occasions while we seek comfort on most others? Here are two ways to confront the darkness for the sake of a deeper and happier life.
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And the Lady from Philadelphia Said...

By E E Smith on October 29, 2017 in Not Born Yesterday
The only thing I know about someone called the “Lady from Philadelphia” is that she was a character in a novel, possibly by Charles Dickens.
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Boundaries: Where Do You Draw the Line?

By Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W. on October 29, 2017 in Fixing Families
Boundaries: Some folks are too rigid and inflexible, others are too soft and accommodating. How to find draw the lines that are just right for you.

The Sacred Trance

By Kirby Farrell Ph.D. on October 26, 2017 in A Swim in Denial
When a leader uses the idea of the sacred, the word can be inspiring or sinister. Psychology can help us determine which is which.

Do Minorities Have Equal Access to All Emotions?

Where a person lies in the hierarchy set by society determines which emotions to express and which to suppress.

Your Anger Knows Your Worth

Your anger knows your worth: 10 steps to turn your temper into a teacher.

How to Complain So Your Partner Listens

By Guy Winch Ph.D. on October 23, 2017 in The Squeaky Wheel
The secret to voicing a complaint without starting an argument.

Sex and the Abuse of Power

By Isadora Alman MFT, CST on October 20, 2017 in Sex & Sociability
Those in power have always seen those below them as theirs for the taking. Perhaps the times finally are changing.

Let’s Put the Focus on Bullying Where It Belongs

By Eric Haseltine Ph.D. on October 20, 2017 in Long Fuse, Big Bang
New research on the importance of bystanders.

Here’s Why We Don’t Speak Up Against Harassment

By Zoe Chance Ph.D. on October 18, 2017 in Make It So
If you're confused about why women don't speak up against harassment, this piece will explain why silence makes sense.

Self-Obsessed but Not Introspective? How Does That Work?

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on October 13, 2017 in Ambigamy
There's a difference between knowing yourself patly and wondering about yourself. The former is more fun, and more dangerous.

Scams, Scandals, and Security Breaches

We may feel bombarded with stories about the lack of ethics, seemingly everywhere. But we can take charge and actively establish rings of trust around us.

Corking 45

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on October 09, 2017 in Ambigamy
Trump is going nowhere until he's humiliated to his face.

A Fresh Start Yet Again

By Marty Nemko Ph.D. on October 04, 2017 in How To Do Life
A short-short story about passivity, resilience, and change.
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Three Steps to Say “No” Gracefully

It can be really hard to say no. Despite my best attempts not to care what other people think of me, I still find myself wanting to be liked.

He Is the Boss, She Is Bossy: The Role of the Media

By Audrey Nelson Ph.D. on October 01, 2017 in He Speaks, She Speaks
Male bosses and co-workers sometimes don’t know what to do with ambitious, goal-oriented women who want leadership positions.