All About Assertiveness

Demonstrating assertiveness means there's no question where you stand, no matter the topic. Cognitively, to be assertive implies a lack of anxious thoughts in light of stress. Behaviorally, assertiveness is all about asking for what you want in a manner that respects others. Assertive people don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others. In terms of affect, assertiveness means reacting to positive and negative emotions without aggression or resorting to passivity.

Recent posts on Assertiveness


How to Talk About Sex

Having trouble talking about sex with your partner? Some tips for starting the conversation.

Is Civility Dead in America?

We are living in a more uncivil community. From presidential politics to random internet comments there is more demeaning and insulting behavior out there. But we can stop it.
Carl Pickhardt Ph.D.

Identity Experimentation in Early and Mid Adolescence

Adolescence is partly about experimentation with self-definition to try out and find out what identity truly fits.

Vetting the Veep: Image Enhancement or Instrument of Attack

Presidential running mate selection involves a courtship designed to facilitate a marriage of convenience—where the Vice President-to-be has several very important roles.

Do Female Presidents or Prime Ministers Make Any Difference?

...if the percentage of women in the legislature increases by 5 per cent, a state is nearly five times less likely to use violence internationally.

Ask and You Shall Receive

By David Ludden Ph.D. on July 06, 2016 in Talking Apes
Approaching a stranger to ask a favor can be difficult, but refusing a request can be just as hard.

How to Talk About the Things You Don't Want to Talk About

You can learn to talk about difficult subjects with your partner. Doing so is vital to your relationship.
Carl Pickhardt Ph. D.

Conducting Conflict with Your Adolescent

The curriculum of family life teaches the adolescent how to manage significant relationships. Learning how to conduct conflict constructively is one important skill for later on.

6 Polite but Effective Ways to Deal with Unwanted Advice

Use these responses to help you set healthy boundaries with people who offer unsolicited advice.

5 Keys to Handling Judgmental and Opinionated People

Most of us come across judgmental and opinionated people at some points in our lives. Here are five tips on how to effectively handle those who insist on imposing their views...
Bart Everson/Flickr

Why I Worry About Being a Good Listener

Introverts are good listeners, but do we even try to get our fair share of the conversation, or simply allow our needs to be buried under other people's chatter?

When Disrespectful is Desirable: Trump-Warren´s War of Words

The 2016 Presidential candidates and their surrogates are name calling their way to the Oval Office. Yet will fiery rhetoric and Twitter rants translate into electibility?

Are You Assertive Enough? Here's 25 Ways to Tell

It’s essential to know if your level of assertiveness is optimal. How else could you determine whether the way you stand up for yourself is most likely to get you what you want?

Debate Like It's 2028

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on May 31, 2016 in Ambigamy
Debates aren't won in the present but the future when outcomes are revealed. Here's a quick tip on how to shift a debate's focus to the future and what really counts.

Sexual Jealousy or Emotional Jealousy?

Women and men both produce testosterone. Is there a difference in production levels when a romantic rival enters the picture?

Early Adolescence, Loss of Confidence, and Fears of Trying

Confidence motivates trying. Most early adolescents leave some confidence behind when they separate from childhood, and now they have some building back up of themselves to do.

Do You Know How to Defend Yourself?

Have you ever been attacked, assaulted or hurt by another? Here's five time tested strategies for responding. Which have you used? Which would be good to learn?

10 Steps to Effective Couples Communication

How to discuss everything from the trivial to the traumatic

I Order You to Stop Following Orders!

By Guy P. Harrison on May 03, 2016 in About Thinking
We all have a natural weakness for authority figures. To be safer, question everything and think twice before following orders.

Watch Your Language!

Just what is your choice of language telling yourself and others?

The Value of Complaining

By Hank Davis on April 23, 2016 in Caveman Logic
Forget that old edict "Say nothing if you have nothing nice to say." Complaining may provide real benefit to the individual and to the group.
Carl Pickhardt Ph.D.

How the End of Adolescence (18 - 23) Can Feel Overwhelming

The transition from the last stage of adolescence, Trial Independence, into young adulthood is fraught with challenges. Parents who understand why and what to do can be of help.

Affirmative Consent Doesn’t Prevent Rape But It Enhances Sex

By Michael Castleman M.A. on March 31, 2016 in All About Sex
"Affirmative consent" for every sexual escalation plays no role in successful rape-prevetion programs, but it's still a wonderful idea because it enhances the quality of sex.

Is All Psychotherapy Feminist?

If you are in any form of psychological treatment today, chances are you are in feminist therapy, whether you know it or not.

Why We Settle for Less While Wanting More

By Seth Slater M.F.A. on March 28, 2016 in The Dolphin Divide
How mental habit keeps us from fulfilling our desires. What to do after becoming a bit too accustomed to unacceptable circumstances.

Why Women Don't Ask: The Negotiation Dilemma

For some women, it’s almost like they need permission before they can request more. Some may lack confidence or not have enough self-esteem to realize that they should be asking.

When Being Trusted Feels Scary

By Katherine Hawley Ph.D. on March 18, 2016 in Trust
Nobody wants to be distrusted. But other people’s trustful expectations can give us sleepless nights. Why do we feel this way, and how can we learn to relish being trusted?

Doing Well Vs. Doing Right

By Jeremy E Sherman Ph.D. on March 16, 2016 in Ambigamy
Love is not the answer. Toughness is not the answer. Tough love is not the answer. Tough love is the question.

And The Three Best Therapy Methods Are...

By Clifford N Lazarus Ph.D. on March 13, 2016 in Think Well
Despite the enormous number of current therapy methods, these three consistently tower over all the others time after time. The three most effective therapy methods are...