There are almost always words inside my head.

In fact, I've asked people I live with to not turn on the radio in the morning. When they asked why, they thought my answer was weird: because it's louder than the voice in my head and I can't perform my morning routine without that voice.

Or I'm doing 'nothing' in a room and someone turns one the tv, I get up and go. But how does this disturb me? Well, the voice in my head might be analyzing options for a vacation or a trying to resolve a problem for work or just making my grocery list... TV just gets in the way of my normal functions.

I went to a store to buy a printer once and left because the music was louder than the voice in my head. I couldn't hear my own inside voice commenting on prices and features so I could not decide which printer to buy. I couldn't see the numbers when trying to compare the price of the printer itself with the price of cartridge. Without being able to hear the voice, I couldn't do math. I went to another nearby store and bought the printer there.

Same for choosing a movie. I went to a video store once and someone had decided to show their kid who ran the show: we're not leaving until you stop crying... Well, 15 minute later the kid was still crying (or more like screaming at the top of his lungs) and I gave up and left. I couldn't choose a movie with the screaming being louder than my decision making process, I could barely read the labels.

When I drive in the city and I need to concentrate on the road and on finding a parking spot at the same time, I have to turn off the radio, even if it's music. Same if there is a snow storm or other bad weather conditions. There are things I won't see without the voice, they won't register as empty parking spot or danger unless the voice can imprint them. The voice is necessary both to keep my attention on something and for short term memory.

I had depression once... It lasted for over a year. I went to see a psychologist who insisted that I talk about my negative thought patterns... I couldn't, nothing was going on and to me that was the problem. Without the voice, I was a zombie. When I got up to go to the shower in the morning, the effort was such that my eyes cried... so what was I thinking about that was so sad? Nothing. Total silence.

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