Totally agree. But speaking up and communicating your needs and desires are only half the problem. Sometimes (or often) the partner doesn't listen, in the sense that they dismiss the need with "that's all you ever want", or as a friend's wife actually told him (I am not kidding!), "You should just learn to control yourself."

If you don't enjoy sex at all yourself, I can understand that the whole act seems pointless, like going through a time-consuming medical procedure!