Tuckman's article is one of the more valid ones posted at PT regarding sex. The key, of course, is always communication. As much as "honesty" is a supposed value in relationships, it's amazing how little "honesty" and disclosure there is regarding masturbation, one of the most elemental human acts. And ideally, this communication should take place before the moment of rings and vows, but it is sadly avoided. And then, down the road, invariably there comes the moment of discovery, and the fertilizer hits the ventilator. We've been happily married for 48 years and we broached the topic of masturbation in the very beginning. Thus, self-pleasure has never been an issue for us. I only wish that more couples could find the courage to be totally honest about this.